Monday, December 3, 2007

Welcome and Introduction

Introduction Updated February 13, 2008

I began this blog in December 2007, shortly after we received two new diagnoses after several years of infertility, previously ascribed only to my PCOS.

I began blogging to explore my emotions and to give purpose to my pain hoping that one day, the writing would help me, or someone else. Doing something concrete and constructive with all of the emotions and thoughts swirling around in my head has been very therapeutic for me.

Over the last several months it has evolved to part journal, part newsletter for our family, part resource, part lifeline to other women in the IF community, and part prayer chain. Though this season of our journey is not as difficult as the season when I began this blog, I continue to love writing and breaking the silence of infertility.

For those new to me, who would like some background on the person whose posts you're reading, I'd like to provide a brief introduction. My husband and I have been married 4.5 years and have been trying to conceive since around our first anniversary. In 2005 I was diagnosed with PCOS and a November 2007 HSG also revealed that I only have one working tube. In November 2007 we also received a generic Male Factor diagnosis. Whether or not it would be treatable would depend on what the specific nature of the condition was. That specificity would be revealed in time with more tests. November began a new chapter in our life story when we began to deal with the reality that the dream of biological children might be near its termination point. That's when I began to pray, weep, think, feel, read and write like I had never done before.

February 2008 brought a specific diagnosis and a name for the faceless vapor that had taunted us for years. The end result is that our only hope for biological children would be through medical methods that we will not pursue for a variety of reasons. We are thankful that the condition was diagnosed, so that we may treat its other, non-fertility related health complications.

However, long before February 2008 God began preparing our hearts for adoption and looking back from where we stand now, we can see that so clearly, though we did not at the time. In January, it was crystalized that God's specific plan for adoption for us was Embryo Adoption.
When the the February 2008 diagnosis that closed the biological door for us permanently came, we were neither surprised, nor shattered.

Currently we are in the beginning processes of pursuing Embryo Adoption. We have networked with both the homestudy and placement agencies and are currently working to save and budget for the high costs associated with the adoption. We hope to begin the homestudy by summer of this year and submit a completed homestudy and application to the placement agency by Christmas, thereby beginning the matching process.

We live in the Phoenix area. We both became Christians in our childhood and were raised in Christian homes, though we are adult Christians by thoughtful choice and not cultural indoctrination. We are Protestants, loosely leaning toward the Calvinist side. We are both very conservative, religiously, culturally and politically. We attended and met at Biola University. I own and operate a small business from home and as time, resources and my health allow, I am pursuing a Masters in Christian Apologetics. My husband is a Senior-Management Level Business Professional. We have never successfully conceived so our journey is a bit different than the painful road walked by women who have conceived only to miscarry.

Unless otherwise noted, all of the postings here are my own original writing.

This blog is open to anyone who would like to read and/or comment. I love discussion so feel free to disagree any time. Please also feel free to pass this on to anyone you think might want to read.

Thank you all for walking this journey with us. And welcome!


  1. Thanks for your comment on my blog; I'm glad you found me, and I'm glad to find you, too!

  2. Jen,
    I've said it before, but... Thank you again for your honesty through the years with your infertility struggle. Your story helped me figure out very early in our journey that I have PCOS and find a drug that helped us conceive fairly quickly. Without you, I think we'd still be searching and I don't think that we'd have Jonathan today! I hope that your story and your research helps others conceive or grieve and embrace their barreness.

  3. hi there! just found your blog - looks like we have a mutual blog-friend (andrea_jennine). glad to find your blog - i've tagged it.

  4. Found your blog through Lost and Found - Just wanted to welcome you! Can't wait to get to read all about your daily grind.

  5. Hi Jen,

    Thanks for visiting my blog over on wordpress! I can't believe that we have the same name! Great minds think a lot alike, huh? ;- )

    I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with infertility. I started my blog for the same reasons, that I wanted to both express my pain and also to help others who might be facing the same thing.

    One of the things that galls me the most about infertility is the isolation it brings, even in the church. I'll keep checking back with you, and hopefully we can all learn from each other.


  6. Thank you for writing such an honest Blog - we struggled with infertility for 4.5 years before my wife unexpectedly became pregnant 5 months ago. I wish I had found your blog while we were still struggling through it all.

    The Broken Man