Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Post Mock Report

I've only got a minute. My Sono-Mock went really well. It was much easier than my HSG (though I did take a Prescription Naprocyn and 3 Advil in advance this time!). I did have some pain and I was uncomfortable when I went to sleep last night after all the meds wore off but I'm fine this morning.

The doctor said everything looks awesome--very fit for a transfer. He also said the procedure went better and easier than it does with most people. It was so nice to hear that something is normal, and in fact, better than average! I went home, finished packing, and flew to my mom's last night. I had coffee with a friend this morning and now my dad and I are headed out to do some shopping.

I don't know that I'll update much this week but I wanted to check in. Thanks for your prayers for my Sono Mock. It was so, so much easier than the HSG, and I'm really grateful for that.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Definition: Sono Mock

Jess asked me to define a Sono Mock, so here it is, as best as I understand it.

An HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) is a procedure wherein they use a catheter to fill the uterus with dye and put you under an xray machine. They're trying to fill the uterus and push the dye through your tubes for it to spill out the other end. Meanwhile, the dye is exposing the shape, size and condition of the uterus, tubes and ovaries on the xray film.

The "sono" part of this procedure (sonohysterosalpingogram) is similar, though they use saline instead of dye and it doesn't need to go up in to my tubes since they're just checking out the uterus, looking for anything that might be complicating to a pregnancy.

The "mock transfer" part is where they use the same kind of catheter they'd use for the actual embryo transfer and they're measuring the uterus, investigating the wall and the shape, looking for the most favorable position to "aim" for during the transfer itself. During the actual procedure they don't "implant" the embryos directly in to the uterine wall. They just transfer them to the uterus, much like would happen if they dropped down in from the fallopian tubes in a good-old-fashioned conception. The doctors aim toward the position in the lining thought to be most favorable, but it's still up to God and the body's process for the embryos to actually "grab on" and implant. The mock cycle is done to give them the best chance we can provide from a mortal standpoint.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

They're gone

Figures that we finally got a halfway decent picture of the four of us and in my ignorance to the new camera, I had it set wrong and the focus ended up misdirected and soft. Oh well, it will have to do. Baby was in the carrier on the ground next to us--he'd been fussy all day and we didn't want to disturb the calm we'd finally achieved by taking him out for the photo.

We spent as much time with them as we could in the last couple of weeks, including last night and this morning. They finally pushed off this afternoon-later than they would have liked but we didn't object to the extra time. I'm missing them fiercely already.

I've felt generally pretty crummy all week, between the sadness and stress of their departure, the fatigue from the work involved preparing them and from not being able to sleep for being up thinking about it, to a wicked migraine, and general monthly girl junk. Today the doggies (we have BFFs dog Molly for the foreseeable future) and I spent the rest of the day resting, watching TV and eating comfort food. A complete waste of an afternoon, but it was nice to just have an afternoon to decompress.

Tomorrow things kick in to gear again. We're going to my ILs out of town, for the weekend, then we get back Sunday afternoon. Monday afternoon I have my sono-mock, and Monday night I leave to fly to California for a week to see my mom and some old friends. During that time, SIL and her family will be here with DH (I'd already booked my trip when they said they were coming-I'm bummed to miss them!) so I need to make sure the house is company ready and generally attend to everything I've been neglecting the last two weeks as I've been at R&Ks house. Then 10 days after arriving home from mom's, we leave for Hawaii. So, there's much to do and little time to do it in.

We'd appreciate your prayers for safe travels for BFFs as they drive across the country. I'd appreciate prayers that I get everything done and I'd especially appreciate prayers for my SonoMock. My HSG was a wickedly miserable experience, and I'm fearing that the SonoMock (similar to the HSG, only with saline instead of dye) will be similar. I'd really love to not go through that sort of trauma again.

So anyway, we're in the middle of a long exhausting haul. It's not even 10:00 yet but I'm ready for bed. Night all

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Life of the Embryo

A blog reader left the following comment on my previous post:

Hey Jen.

I'd be interested to read a post on your moral stance regarding this process. You put quote marks around the word "create" which sort of gave me pause. So these lives have been created, does that mean there are 11 or however many people? Do they each have a soul?

Just wondering what your thoughts are, here.

So I thought I'd take this opportunity to respond.

The life of the embryo is very perplexing for me so I'll try my best to explain what I think.

First, I believe that life begins at fertilization, not conception (the AMA defines conception as when implantation occurs-usually approximately 2 weeks after fertilization). I believe it's important to make this distinction because saying that life begins at conception gives scientists and doctors a free pass on what to do with the embryos in those two weeks between fertilization and implantation. It opens the door for justifiable embryonic stem cell research, cloning, chemical reduction and a host of other life dishonoring practices.

So yes, I believe these are 12 tiny little people.

However, I don't know when ensoulment happens. On the one hand, it's hard to define "human" apart from a soul (isn't that what makes us human after all?), but on the other hand, if indeed ensoulment happens at fertilization, I have no idea where the souls of these frozen embryos currently are. I don't know that I think that soul is suspended in time, but I don't know what alternative there is, either. So, all of that to say, I don't know. And I don't even know what I believe.

Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations." So I believe that some sort of pre-conception soul exists, even if just in Holy Intent and Idea. Whether every body conceived has a soul, or whether some perish in the womb as never were and never to be ensouled skeletons, I do not know.

However, in the absence of knowing, we must err on the side of caution, or in this case, life. We must behave as though each of those 12 embryos (and the 500,000 others in storage) is a fully ensouled human being, created in the image of God. That is why I believe so strongly in Embryo Adoption, though I could not reconcile myself to In Vitro Fertilization. In this case, those little Embryos (little lives) already exist, and are worthy of our protection, regardless of our feelings about how they came to be.

If we are wrong on this point and in the end all we've done is protect lifeless (or soulless) masses of cells, we are no worse for the wear. However, if we assume that they are not little lives and behave accordingly, and it turns out we are wrong on that, we will have committed sins of great depravity, and that is a risk I am unwilling to take, both for the sake of my own soul and for the sake of those tiniest of persons.


Amanda then asked this in the comments:

I guess my question further is this, so if they are people, and may or may not have a soul, how do you feel about implanting several when you know they probably will not all survive? Especially when you've listed cases previously where someone had 11 embryos and that resulted in one live birth.

It seems effectively to be making the same decisions as in vitro fertilization without the immediate problem of you, personally, having given the order to create life.

Well, we would only transfer two at a time, because I am willing and feel I can safely carry twins if both were to implant. I wouldn't transfer more than that because I don't feel it would be safe for the babies.

If they don't implant, that's up to God. Transferring two embryos at once does not lessen either one's chance of implanting. All Snowflake families make the commitment to act as though all embryos WILL implant and therefore commit to only transferring at one time the number of embryos equal to the number children they would be willing and able to carry in one pregnancy, with a maximum of three. (The eleven embryos were not all transferred at once). Selective reduction is not an option.

At that point, I think the adoptive family has done all they can to give these embryos a chance at a full life. What happens beyond that is up to God. I liken it to the notion that it is a pregnant woman's job to care for her body and for her child and be responsible with prenatal care and her own behavior, but if all of that happens and a miscarriage still occurs, it doesn't follow that it was her fault or that it she should have never gotten pregnant in the first place.

So long as the EA family does all they can to ensure the best chance at survival for the embryos, including safe adoption, placement, shipping, thawing, transfer and storage methods, I think God is honored by that.

Also, isn't Embryo Adoption a perfect way of justifying IVF for people who have yet to undertake it? They may feel it is wrong, but upon learning of embryo adoption, would do it anyway because there is a way to "adopt" out the other embryos, thereby putting more embryos out there?

I wrestle with this too. I do know there are people out there who have chosen to do IVF because they know EA exists. But I also know there are couples out there like us. We were always opposed to IVF as a choice for our family, but knowing EA existed made that conviction a little bit easier to stick to when the doctor said those words, "You will never have biological children." Somehow knowing this existed removed some of the temptation to change our minds. I'd like to think we wouldn't have either way, but I do know that EA played a positive role for us.

Additionally, even if you removed all of those people (who do IVF because of EA) from the equation, there would still be hundreds of thousands of embryos in storage and so a method for saving those embryos would still need to exist. I do admit that it could become a vicious cycle but I don't think that we're there yet, or that the answer is not doing what we can. I know there are people who treat s.ex casually because they know they can place a resulting child for adoption. I don't think we should do away with adoption either, though I know there are people who use it to copulate with relative impunity (though placing a child for adoption is not without its own kind of trauma, either).

There's not an easy answer and I wrestle with it too. At the end of the day, I think EA is a necessary response to an unfortunate problem, though my preference would be that the problem of extra embryos not exist in the first place.

I know many good Christian people who arrived at different conclusions that us, others who changed their minds to or from these same positions after first acting according to the opposite decision, and some who remain undecided. I know it's not an easy decision for any family and I don't pass judgment on people who've made different decisions--this is just an explanation of where we're at as a family.

Friday, July 18, 2008

A GREAT Mail Day!

I was stuck here all day waiting for Fed Ex to bring my bank cards (bank made a mistake and canceled my existing ones). Otherwise I would have been over at BFFs house when the mail came.

I was just laying down for a nap (this week has been really tiring!) when I heard the mail truck. I argued for a minute with myself about whether or not I should get up and check it but I told myself, "no, it's too soon." Well I finally did decide to check and lo and behold, the certification had arrived!

The date on the certification is 7 days after the court would have received the application. The agency received it within 7 more days. The agency notified us today, just 2.5 weeks after the initial mailing date of the application to the court. That's crazy fast! Rather, it's God fast! He's the only explanation for why things have moved so quickly and smoothly, and we give Him all the glory!

The other good news that came in earlier today is that I can go in for my Sono-Mock on day 1 of the next cycle! Once all that's done, we'll be able to do the transfer as soon as the embryos are here!

The next steps take a bit longer than I thought. We wait for our HS to be sent from CFCA to Nightlight. Then, if Nightlight has all of our documents and all of S and Bs documents, then they can issue contracts. If not, we wait for those first. We don't think there will be any delay here because both families have been pretty diligent about submitting everything.

After the contracts are signed, S&B's lab work can be sent to our clinic. Our doctor would then review it and decide if their blood work met our state's standards (every state is different and they're in another state so they would have been processed according to CA standards), as well as the clinic's standards (clinics can be funny about using embryos they didn't "create.") If that all passes muster, then Nightlight can send the Embryology Report to our clinic. Again, the doctor here has to review it all to see if everything meets the right standards, and if they'll accept them for transfer. Once THAT happens, then Nightlight can arrange for Fed Ex to move the Embryos. If there's something "wrong" then something else may need to be done on the GP's end but we won't know that til our doctor reviews everything, nor would they know to expect it either.

So the part with the doctor is what could take longer. Megan (Nightlight) said that more blood work or reports are needed about 50% of the time. She said doctors can take anywhere from a couple of hours to a couple of weeks to review the reports and make their determinations. Coordinating with Fed Ex takes a week, too.

The contract stage just takes as long as it takes everyone to sign and have everything notarized and mailed back. The transfer of information between clinics and getting the "all clear" can take anywhere from 4 weeks to 4 months. We don't really know since we barely know this doctor. Megan said the average is 6-8 weeks from start to finish. Fed Ex takes a week (though I can't remember if that's included in the 6-8 or not).

Then we could do a transfer the next cycle after all that is done. So it seems like October-ish might be optimistic, but we also know how quickly God has orchestrated everything else, so we are confident that everything will continue to happen in the perfect time!

Thanks for celebrating with us!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

New Blog

I've been really busy this week. I've been at BFFs house every day helping them pack and get organized. So I haven't had much time to blog or even think about what I would write if I did blog.

But, I did start a new project, which has been a good way to take my mind off their departure. It gives me something to do when I wake up in the middle of the night or too early in the morning.

It's my New Blog. I love the hunt of a good deal, so I thought I'd start a blog to track everything and share what I learn with other people. I know there are lots of other blogs like this out there, but I hope this will have a different spin. We'll see!

Let me know what you think and if you think it's even worth continuing!


Sunday, July 13, 2008


Our best friends ARE moving and now they're leaving in 10 days. Circumstances changed so they've decided to head out now instead of Labor Day and start his new job a month sooner. 10 days....

I hate this.

Friday, July 11, 2008


We just received such a thoughtful gift from our GP Family.

They're dated 2004 because that's when these little embryos were created.

We have a tradition of giving each other an ornament every year. DH's parents started it with him when he was a baby and we have all of his childhood ornaments. My parents started doing it too when we got married and we intend to pass it on to our kids! These are such a precious addition...though when our kids are 20, not sure if they'll get to have these ones or not ;)

Thank you, S and B! We'll cherish them!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


I was looking through some old things today and found some scans of some old scrapbook pages I made.

I made this one on July 27, 2006. It amazes me how much things have changed, and yet how much has remained the same.

(Click to enlarge)

Journaling reads:
I’ve wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. It’s been one my favorite dreams throughout my life. Thus, it’s been incredibly difficult to discover that God’s plan for us in this season of our lives is different than my plan. We’ve longed and tried for a baby for 18 long months of heartache, tears, a little patience, lots of impatience, a PCOS diagnosis, surgery and difficult medications. I was sad for a long time. Every pregnancy announcement from a friend cut me to the core. I thought about all time that elapsed as their grandparents and cousins got older. I thought about those awkward family moments when everyone else is busy with their children and we just look at each other. Slowly, God began to teach me that my identity and purpose are not defined by my goal or ability to be a biological mother. I may never be one and my life is still rich with purpose and potential. How much do I miss if I constantly yearn for what I do not have instead of relishing what I do? I began to not be saddened by the longing of the thoughts of the baby we don’t have, but to take joy in the anticipation of the baby we will, Lord willing, one day meet and in the mystery of God’s greater plan if we don’t. If you ever do come, Baby Someday, know that you are already the most loved baby I know. Know how long we’ve waited for you and loved you. Know that your life will be a celebration of the God who gave it to you. And if you never come, we take heart in the knowledge that, though we don’t understand, as a dear friend says, “When He Who can does not, it must be better so.”

I made this one sometime last summer:

Journaling reads:
"I love this picture of you and Renee. You have such a sweet look of joy on your face. I know one day, God will honor our hearts' desire by giving us a family and when that day finally comes, I know you'll be the most wonderful, loving, doting, selfless father. I can't wait to see that."

I haven't scrapbooked since doing this page actually. It became too difficult because I couldn't get past the thoughts of "why are you doing this? You aren't going to have any children...no one will ever look at or read these!" Then when I overcame that, I just couldn't find the time or desire to do it. But how grateful I am today for these keepsakes of our journey. I can look at them and reflect on all that God has done over these years.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

An Announcement

Hi everyone,

Last night, we received the following email from the couple we met last week:
So......without further ado, [Genetic Dad's Name] and I would absolutely love for you and Todd to be the adopting parents of our precious embryos. We think you and Todd are wonderful people and we can't think of a more perfect couple to love, raise and adore any children that hopefully will result from this adoption. We can tell that you are going to make fantastic parents.

We hope you feel this is the right match for you both and we anxiously await your answer.

This was the answer we'd been praying for! So this morning, we called them and happily accepted.

There's so much I want to share about our story...how God knit it together, how He prepared our timing and our desires, how He orchestrated our conversation and how he even matched us with a couple so similar to our own selves in so ways. I'll try to take the time in coming weeks to begin typing everything up!

In the mean time, we are officially happy parents-to-be. There are 12 Embryos, all in the blastocyst stage (day 5 or later--great for implantation potential).

10 of them are frozen in pairs, so that is how we will thaw and transfer them. The other two are each frozen individually and we will either thaw and transfer them together or pair each one with another pair and have two transfers of 3. Assuming at least one embryo from each pair survives the thaw, we'll have 5 or 6 transfers.

The number of live births that will result from these embryos remains to be seen. The first Phoenix Snowflake family had 11 embryos, which resulted in one live birth. Another family we know lost a lot of embryos through 4 or 5 matches, and finally had two children. Our Genetic Family had 5 successful implantations out of 8 embryos, and 3 live births (and 1 miscarriage of twins). So it really can be all over the map. We could end up with 1 child, we could end up with 12. If I recall one of her emails correctly, their embryologist thinks that the most likely number is 3, maybe 4 (though for the life of me I can't find that email so if I'm remembering wrong, S, please forgive me!). It really is anyone's guess and all in God's hands. We're sure He already knows the size family He has for us so we are resting in that.

The next step is to wait for the homestudy comes back. Even though we are matched, we still can't move forward without that piece. When it comes back to our caseworker here, she'll transfer it to Nightlight. Once that is done we can enter the process of signing actual documents. The other family with have 72 hours from date of signing to change their mind. After that, our coordinator at Nightlight will coordinate the shipping of our embryos from their clinic (in the San Francisco area) to our clinic here, which will store the embryos and eventually do the transfers.

We will update when our homestudy is completed and when we sign documents and perhaps when the Embryos safely arrive in Phoenix. But we are not planning to announce in advance (even to family!) about when the first transfer will be so that if it is successful, we can enjoy the process of planning and surprising friends and family with the news, and also so we can protect the information if we find ourselves wanting to wait a little bit longer in to the pregnancy before we share. And, if the transfer is not successful, we can grieve in private and not have the pain of answering "how did it go?" a lot of times over from everyone who'd know to ask 10-14 days after the transfer date (about when a pregnancy test is conducted).

It's still a little while until we get to that point but we're telling folks now so that when the time comes, we can be cryptic without seeming secretive or intentionally hurtful. What we can say is that if things go smoothly, a transfer could happen as early as October-ish. But we won't know more til later.

So, that's our news! We're very excited! We are very eager to share our story with anyone who could benefit from it so please feel free to ask any questions!

Thank you for celebrating with us!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Blood Test Results

Woohoo! Everything for both of us came back normal. We were slightly concerned about DH's cholesterol because our life insurance agent told him their test gave them a high number. But this test said the number was fine!

We were also concerned about my Glucose and Insulin levels. Glucose was normal. Insulin was "slightly" elevated, which is normal with PCOS + Insulin resistance. I'll be calling her after their lunch break to see how high it is.

But everything else is normal! Oh, and now I know my blood-type, which I've never known before.

Woohoo! Another check box cleared!

Prayer Request

Disclaimer: The below information is not public knowledge yet. If you know the people in question, please keep this information confidential. I am allowed to post it here, because 99% of my readers don't know them, but for the few who do, please keep it under wraps.

Our best friends invited us over today and when we got there, they sat us down to "talk about something." I knew something was wrong. R (the husband) is accepting a job offer in Chicago. They leave next month.

They don't want to go and we don't want them to go but he's been trying to find a new, better job here for a long time with no success. Taking this job would enable K to stay home with M (godson), which is what they want. Plus, he'd be working for a company that values and respects him (this is the company he left when they moved from Chicago 3 years ago).

Those are really great things for their family. I just wish they could find those same things in a job here. They want it too, so the 4 of us (and anyone who will join us) are praying that in the next month, God would move mountains to give him a good job HERE with the salary they need for her to stay home. They've said that if He does that, they will stay. It's all of our hearts' desires for them to stay.

Meanwhile, I'm doing the best I can not to fall apart. I cried a lot yesterday and woke up a lot during the night just thinking about it. Just typing this makes me feel ill. I'm distressed and sad at the prospect of losing them. I don't want to miss out on little M's life, and I don't want to miss out on R and Ks, either. Pregnancy and adoption and parenting seems a lot more frightening without their support system. It was a dream of all of us for our kids to grow up as playmates and for the 4 of us to grow old together. Both K and I had sort of gypsy childhoods so we were reveling in the fact that we had both finally found solid, long terms friendships-a luxury neither of us had when we were younger. Losing my best friend from college for reasons that are still unbeknownst to me was traumatic. Like, it changed who I am traumatic. I'm just so tired of loss and starting over. I wasn't even looking for close friends when we met them because I didn't want to take the risk. But we met them and there was no turning back.

Because of them, Phoenix had finally started to feel like home for me. I finally felt like I was putting down roots of my own here, not just inheriting DHs. I've never really wanted to live in Phoenix and the first several years of our marriage were hard for me because I didn't have many friends here. I was really lonely. I do have friends now, but she's the only one I have that true kinship and sisterhood with.

Our hearts are broken and so are theirs. Would you please join us in praying that it would be God's will for them to stay here and that He would provide the means for them to do so? I want what's best for them. I just want that best to be that they stay here.

If they move, we'll all be driving to Chicago Labor Day weekend. That's just too soon...

Saturday, July 5, 2008

We have amazing friends...

We have a friend, Amie, from college. We were friends in college but traveled in different circles of closer friends so we didn't keep in much touch after graduation.

We got back in touch within the last year and have bonded over grief. She lost one of her daughters in late pregnancy death, and I suffered the much smaller loss of infertility. Through our different experiences we've shared pain, encouragement, thoughts, discoveries and resources. The result is that these conversations have been more meaningful than perhaps any other sort of more superficial reconnecting conversations would have been. I've been so grateful that God has given us a second chance at friendship. How marvelous is it that He was not content with me missing the boat the first time around! He has done that with a few other friends too.

I purchased something from Amie (who has a great Etsy shop) for BFF and godson (guess I could say K and M...) Anyway, we were writing back and forth, corresponding about the details of everything when she sent me a note that included this:

Speaking of I also have sitting here a surprise for you and Todd but can't wait to tell you what it is (I am terrible at secrets). Every year we have a garage sale to purge our home and pick a "cause" to put the money toward each year. For example: paying to go to [Other friends'] wedding, Buying bible study books for our neighbor and....supporting you and Todd! This year we were selling mostly extra baby gear and thought it would be fitting to donate any money to Todd and you and baby [Our last name]. We know that God has specially chosen your little one for you and are so excited to meet him/her and about the life that you and Todd are giving him/her as Godly parents who love the Lord. We also are so excited about snowflake adoption so you can expect a check in the mail (again probably with your nursing cover) for $___. We spent last Saturday hosting the garage sale and praying for you and Todd and baby to be with each purchase. We also had a sign out that said the money was in support of adoption and when people asked we told them about snowflake. Some of them had embryo's that they were unsure what to do with and were excited to hear about an adoption option for their kids!!! (no pictures I don't know where my brain was sorry!)
I know you guys have the money you need for the adoption covered but Jon and I wanted a way to tangibly show you guys our support for what you are doing and for your baby to be. Use it however you wish, baby "stuff" donating to Snowflake adoption, preparing your home for baby.
We love you guys!

I can't tell you what it was like to be the on receiving end of such a thoughtful gesture. It's most sincerely, one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for us. And hear me when I say that the money itself has nothing to do with it. What is so meaningful is that Amie and Jon took us in to their hearts and prayers, and that they shared Embryo Adoption with other families. That makes my heart soar! Amie and Jon, I know the amount of little lives that will be saved just went up as a result of your faithfulness! We're so grateful for your friendship, for your love, for your prayers, your support and your selflessness!

Amie's note also challenges us to find equally intentional and overwhelming ways to love on our friends. So thank you for your example of friendship, too! We love you too!

Thursday, July 3, 2008


Hi everyone,

Well, everything from the week is done. We did all our tests and exams-they went off without a hitch.

We also made it safely to and from our meeting yesterday. The meeting went well--they seem to be exactly the people they say they are which was great. You can really be anyone you want to be on the internet, so it was comforting to see that they ARE nice, normal people.

There was a lot of information they shared yesterday that was pretty overwhelming (for me anyway) so I'm still processing so I don't really have much to share in the way of an update. Everything went well and we walked away really knowing as much as we could have expected to know at the end of the day. We knew we wouldn't walk away with a "final answer." Both families are going to take some time to think and pray and then we'll talk down the road. But from everything we could see yesterday, everything seemed very positive.

The next step (giving a definite "yes" or "no") is hard for someone like me who has such a fearful nature. But that would be true with any match and has nothing to do with this situation. It's just now, the rubber meets the road and the reality and finality of any decision starts to sink in. We'd love your prayers for wisdom and peace and I'm sure they would, too!

That's all I have in the way of an update. I can share more later if this does "go through" but in the mean time, I want to respect the "maybe" nature of the situation. Trust me, both the genetic mom and I are eager to share "our story" but we both want to know what the next chapter will be, first.

Thanks for your prayers. If nothing else, we had a nice time, a safe trip, and they're really great people to know so we've already gained something!

PS: Our adoption caseworker said that the fact that it doesn't sound like I'm shouting from the rooftops gives her cause for concern. Don't read in to that...it's not in my personality to be like that in a new situation. I'm just too cautious (overly so, this I know!). Don't read in to it. (Genetic-Dad is really cautious by nature too, so I know he understands!) As simultaneously strongly and cautiously as I can, I say that yesterday's meeting went very very well and is very promising. I'm as bursting with excitement as I will allow myself to be while things are still a "maybe." Believe me, if we get a final "yes" from God and from them, I WILL be shouting from the rooftops. But until then, I think protecting my heart is the best course of action.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


7 vials of Blood Later, my part in most of the tests is done. It's nice to have something else to check off the list! For a major needle-phobe like me, 7 vials is a big deal :D

Today has just been spent tending to various details. I'm printing pictures the genetic family wants to see and making sure the profile match letter is the exact-no-turning-back-now-because-we're-going-to-give-it-to-them way we want it.

I'm excited for tomorrow. I don't think we expect to walk away with an answer tomorrow (though it would be cool!) but I do hope that we have at least as strong of an inclination as to know whether or not we should continue seriously pursuing this or not. We'd love for you to join us in prayer for this meeting!

Oh, another piece of happy news is that our caseworker called and said our homestudy report went postal today! I hope hope hope the court processes it quickly. She said she sent one in a few weeks ago and it's already been accepted so at least a few weeks ago, the calendar was moving along fast. I hope the same is true now!

I'm off to nap. I have a feeling I won't sleep a wink tonight in anticipation of tomorrow so I'm going to sleep while I can get it!

I'll try to update tomorrow night!