God's answer was "no," again. We have two more children in Heaven. I'm devastated, but mostly right now, I'm and angry. Honestly, right now I don't think His answer will ever be "yes." And that's really hard to deal with.
Here is the prayer I'm praying for your little ones today; because the Book of Common Prayer has the words when I do not:
O God, whose beloved Son did take little children into his arms and bless them: Give us grace, we beseech thee, to entrust these children to thy never-failing care and love, and bring us all to thy heavenly kingdom; through the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
It's not even close to enough to say it, but again, I am so sorry, and will be praying for you, and yours.
So sorry for your hurt and loss. I know those words mean nothing to you right now but I've been following your story for a couple of years and you are an inspiration to me as we've dealt with infertility for 6+ years. As I talked with another friend dealing with infertility, we said it's so unfair how others get pregnant at the drop of a hat and others of us spend so much of our time obsessing about dr visits, etc. Prayers to you and yours tonight.
I've been right with you in that place, two times as well. The words of two songs really soothed me in my anger/turmoil/confusion:
"Hand of mercy, hand of love. Giving power to overcome. When all beneath me falls away, I know that you are God." -How Good It Is by Sovereign Grace Ministries
"This is what it means to be held How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive This is what it is to be loved and to know That the promise was when everything fell We'd be held" -Held by Natalie Grant
I am SO sorry!! Oh how I can relate to not only the heart-breaking sorrow, but the anger and the thinking that the answer will never be "yes." I HATE THIS.... for you, for me, for every woman who has had a precious baby ripped from her before she ever got to meet it. No words can make that pain go away. The only thing that lessened the pain for me was crying (a lot), asking God why, and reading Psalms... and listening to songs such as the ones Jessica quoted and "Praise You In This Storm" over and over... I know God will see you through this and you will have joy again one day... but for now, I am crying with you and sending hugs and love....
Jen, I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteHere is the prayer I'm praying for your little ones today; because the Book of Common Prayer has the words when I do not:
O God, whose beloved Son did take little children into his
arms and bless them: Give us grace, we beseech thee, to
entrust these children to thy never-failing care and love, and
bring us all to thy heavenly kingdom; through the same thy
Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee
and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
It's not even close to enough to say it, but again, I am so sorry, and will be praying for you, and yours.
I'm so sorry. Praying for you this season.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your hurt and loss. I know those words mean nothing to you right now but I've been following your story for a couple of years and you are an inspiration to me as we've dealt with infertility for 6+ years. As I talked with another friend dealing with infertility, we said it's so unfair how others get pregnant at the drop of a hat and others of us spend so much of our time obsessing about dr visits, etc. Prayers to you and yours tonight.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Cindy
Lifting up prayers for you both today. What a painful disappointment.
ReplyDeletei'm so sad, angry and devastated for you. will continue praying for you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry -
ReplyDeleteand I'm praying,
(jessica's mom)
Betsy
I'm so sorry, Jen.
ReplyDeleteHey Sweetie,
ReplyDeleteI've been right with you in that place, two times as well. The words of two songs really soothed me in my anger/turmoil/confusion:
"Hand of mercy, hand of love. Giving power to overcome. When all beneath me falls away, I know that you are God."
-How Good It Is by Sovereign Grace Ministries
"This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held"
-Held by Natalie Grant
I am crying with you and praying for you.
Jessica
My heart is breaking for you, Jen and Todd! I'm so sorry to hear the babies are in heaven and not with you. :(
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Jen...This is hard news to hear...I was so hopeful.
ReplyDeleteWill definitely be keeping you in my prayers!
I understand that feeling completely. I have a hard time believing in a "yes" for us, too...praying for you sweetie. :(
ReplyDeleteI am SO sorry!! Oh how I can relate to not only the heart-breaking sorrow, but the anger and the thinking that the answer will never be "yes." I HATE THIS.... for you, for me, for every woman who has had a precious baby ripped from her before she ever got to meet it. No words can make that pain go away. The only thing that lessened the pain for me was crying (a lot), asking God why, and reading Psalms... and listening to songs such as the ones Jessica quoted and "Praise You In This Storm" over and over... I know God will see you through this and you will have joy again one day... but for now, I am crying with you and sending hugs and love....
ReplyDeleteSo devastated for you Jen. Praying for God's arms to surround you.
ReplyDelete