One Day at a Time

Zofran update day 4: Oh my goodness, I didn't realize it was possible to feel this normal while pregnant. I feel like I have regained at least several hours per day where I feel human. I'm still queasy sometimes and I still vomit several times a day but the huge difference now is that it's once or twice per occasion, and when I'm done, I feel better. Before, it was just constant 24/7 nausea, and when I vomited, it was over and over and over again until my stomach was empty and I was dry heaving, and then I still felt queasy when it was over. If you feel like this, it's NOT normal. I struggled so much with trying to decide between how much was goes-with-the-pregnancy-territory sickness, and how much was abnormal. Believe me, I was in the abnormal category. I've talked to two HG mamas, who both say I sounded like they did, and none of my friends who had normal pregnancies experienced anything close to what I did. So I guess I can just say that I wish I'd spoken up and asked for help much sooner.

Now, here's the tricky thing. The doctor prescribed 30 pills, and said I could take one every 6 hours. If I take them round the clock, that's 7 days of pills. The first day I was on it, I was still really sick, so I was taking 8mg (which I confirmed was safe through multiple authorities, though I didn't call my doctor). Every other day, I've pretty much been fine with 4. However, doubling up that first day puts me running out of pills one day early. We're going out of town tomorrow and I wanted to fill my prescription before we left. The pharmacy responded that insurance won't cover a refill until Sunday. (However, if the prescription had been larger in the first place, they would have filled that just fine--go figure).

I have the refill left so I could get it on Sunday. The problem is that I want a larger prescription from him on Monday. So if I fill on Sunday, I can't fill the new one on Monday. And then having that little prescription puts me in the exact same boat of running out a week later, while we're on vacation and he's on his honeymoon. So I guess what I'm asking is for your prayers that the 12 pills I have left will take me all the way until Monday afternoon, and then that he will give me a larger prescription at our late afternoon appointment? Honestly, I'm just so frustrated that I had to waste so much time on drugs that didn't work before he'd even prescribe the Zofran, and now I feel like I'm having to fight to get what I need.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my doctor. I really respect him and one reason I like him is that he's very non-interventive in the birth process. But unfortunately, he displays that same aversion to intervention in this area, when I really *need* him to intervene. And I lose my nerve in being as assertive with him as I need to be (on that note, I'm thinking of hiring a doula so I don't chicken out in the hospital in enforcing what we want) because I don't want to feel like a pest to him.  And as I said, I downplayed how sick I was for the same reason. So his conservativeness and my under-assertiveness is a bad combination.  Would you just pray that I get through this weekend, that Monday goes well and that we can finally come to an end of this conversation? But in the mean time, I'm just trying to focus on getting through one day at a time.

Thank you for all your prayers. I truly feel like a different person and I'm so, so grateful to have found something that works. I feel better than I have through almost the entire pregnancy. I still notice that I'm susceptible to smells, to too much up and down movement, and to hunger, but honestly, this is much more how I *expected* to feel in pregnancy, so I don't find it to be too bothersome.

I still haven't ventured too far into normal food land. I still eat a lot of cereal and smoothies. Last night I still lost toast and tonight it was potato that did me in, so my stomach isn't strong yet, but at least it's keeping something down. I find that I'm really really hungry after all this, so I just have to pace myself and not eat everything in sight, just because I momentarily feel like I can. Baby steps, one day at a time... Praying I can soon add a lot of good food back into my diet though.