Adventures in Nursing II (Addressing Improving Low Milk Supply Issues with Breastfeeding))

I've been getting some good feedback in my comments and by email about my nursing post, so I thought I'd add a few more things that have helped me.

First, I'm sorry that so many of you are experiencing troubles, too. I hope it helps you to know you're not alone, but I'm sorry for your sake that you're struggling. It's so hard, and it can really be a blow to your mommyhood self esteem. Don't let it be! Keep plugging away, if continuing nursing is what you want!

These are some other things I've learned about improving and maintaining my milk supply. These are in no particular order, other than the order I thought of them in :)

1. Don't use a second-hand personal pump, if you can at all afford it. Ok, before you ignore this, here's why. The manufacturers tell you not to, in case some milk backflows and contaminates the pump. Honestly? I ignored this. I'm cheap and I trust the woman who shared her pump with me. I thought the odds of contamination were pretty small.  My friend is healthy and monogamous and even if there was a tiny bit of contamination, I wasn't concerned that she was going to give Matthew anything. However, personal pumps are designed for only about 400 hours of use. So if a mom pumped a combined total of an hour a day, that pump motor would be exhausted in just over a year. In my case, my friend was a work outside the home mom, so I know her pump got more than an hour of use per day. So unless you know first hand that the pump had very little use, there is a possibility that your second-hand pump could just have lost its "umph" and sucking power. Your own pump that you bought new could have lost its umph if you've been breastfeeding a long time or on your second or more child.

2. Hospital grade pumps are more affordable than you think to rent. They run anywhere from $50-$70 per month and some offer discounts if you rent in blocks of time, like 3 months. That's not pocket change by any means, and I know it's hard to swallow when a personal pump is only $200ish to BUY, but if you're having supply issues, seriously consider it. It's certainly not any more expensive than buying a lot of formula (again, NOT knocking formula at all, but if you're going to have to spend the money either way and you WANT to keep nursing, at least consider renting a hospital pump). Some hospitals rent them, as do some lactation consultants, and mother-type stores. Call the hospital where you delivered or your midwife for a referral. There are some online vendors who do it, too. It's not just that these machines are stronger. Stronger/faster sucking isn't always better. It's also that they're more similar to a baby's suck, which stimulates your milk supply better. The hospital grade pumps run smoother, and allow for more combinations of speed and suction to figure out the best fit for you. Pumping isn't just about RETRIEVING milk. It's about telling your body to make more.  Even if you're never away from your baby and never think you'll need stored milk, pump anyway if you're struggling with supply. Milk production is supply and demand. The more your body detects a request for milk, the more your body will make. The smoother function is also more comfortable on you, making it easier to pump more frequently, and less likely to cause you to give up because it hurts too much or because you're not seeing any results.

3. Pump both sides at the same time. I didn't think it made a difference if I pumped both at once, or one side, then the other. But, it does! It actually makes your body think you have twins--"Whoa! Two babies want to eat at the same time! I REALLY need to make more milk!"

4. Longer isn't always better. Neither is stronger/faster. You want to mimic a baby's habit as best you can. Babies don't suck at 80 sucks per minute for the entire feeding. They fast and shallow at first as they're stimulating and swallowing the let down. Then, they slow to long, slow, hard sucks and swallows. He may speed up again if you have another let down. Watch your baby and try to mimic his eating habits with your pump. The LC I saw yesterday said that pump for a while but when it slows to a dribble and then you get nothing for 2 minutes, stop. She said it's better to turn it off and wait for 10 minutes, then turn it on again for 10 minutes. She said it's called "power pumping." Pump 10 minutes, break 10 minutes. Pump 10 more, etc. Great to do while you're watching TV. She also suggested waiting 10-15 minutes after baby is done eating before you start pumping, rather than right after. I can't really explain it well, but somehow the starting of a "new" session sends a different message to the body than continual, endless pumping. DON'T stop a baby while he's eating (as long as he's getting milk and is hungry), but do consider these techniques when pumping to stimulate/retrieve supply.

5. Your supply can take a nose dive when baby starts sleeping longer. My dip in supply corresponds with when Matthew started sleeping between 8-12 hours a night. However, to keep your supply up, your breasts need to be stimulated 10-12 times per day. Sometimes, older babies just don't need/want to eat every 2 hours anymore. If you're up later than or before baby, pump right before you go to bed, or right after you wake up to get an extra session in. If you're not struggling with supply, these things may not be necessary, because your body adjusts to what the baby needs, and if the baby is sleeping through the night, he doesn't need the milk made during those sleeping hours, but if you do have supply issues, keeping your supply up around the clock is crucial so that your body doesn't back off production.

6. Try adding some galactagogue foods to your diet. My favorite, easiest one is oatmeal (not instant or quick oats). I make steel cut oats in my crockpot overnight and have them for breakfast. You can make Mama Jeeper's Lactation bars-bonus, they taste good! This recipe makes about 40 bars, so feel free to make in smaller batches. My friend Jess has had good luck in freezing them.

2 c. butter, Crisco, or margarine (can mix and match to equal 2 c.)
1 c. granulated sugar
2 c. packed brown sugar
4 eggs
1 Tbsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking soda
2 1/2 c. flour
1/2 c. wheat germ
1/4 c. brewer's yeast (not baking yeast) or nutritional yeast powder
1/4 c. flax meal (or whole flaxseed milled fine in a coffee grinder)
4 c. oatmeal (old fashioned, or as thick-cut as you can find)
1 bag mini semi sweet chocolate chips
1 c. nuts (optional)

Cream butter and sugars well, then add eggs and vanilla. Beat until well blended. Mix all dry ingredients (except for oats, chips, and nuts) in separate bowl. Combine the wet and dry ingredients all at once, stirring as well as possible by hand. Mix with beaters until smooth. Add oats and chips (and nuts, if desired), and stir until well blended. Divide dough into five parts.

Line a 10 X 7 cookie sheet (with shallow sides, like a jellyroll pan) with foil. Spray foil with nonstick spray. Spread 1/5 of the dough into the foil-lined pan and bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees.

When done, simply lift out foil to remove the bars. Place another piece of foil into the pan and spray for the next batch. Allow to cool at least slightly before cutting each pan of bars into eighths.

7. Water, water, water. Divide your weight in half. Drink that number in ounces of water, every day.

8. Drink a lot of water right before you pump. I have to say I got this tip from Dr. Sears, so, milk fountains aside, that one helped!

9. Have skin to skin contact with your baby as much as possible. Skin to skin contact stimulates prolactin, which is what makes milk. Strip your baby down to his diaper when you feed him, and hold him against your bare chest/torso whenever possible.

10. Prime the pump often. Put the baby to the breast whenever you can, and pump in the off times. Especially with older babies, they may not ask to eat as often as you need to be stimulated. Try to squeeze in an extra session if you can. Especially in the summer heat, the extra hydration for baby is good anyway.

11. Don't rule out other issues like hormones, medications, and diet. Do you have diabetes, or PCOS, or some other endocrine issue? Talk to your endocrinologist or your RE, or even your OB if you're having issues. I linked to a great resource in my last post about PCOS and milk supply. You could do all of the things above and your body could still be working against you. Hormonal imbalances can affect your milk making hormones. Also check to see if any medications you're on could be impacting things. If you're not drinking enough water, or if you eating/drinking things that dehydrate you, that can affect you.

12. Consider supplements. Fenugreek is easily available (grocery stores, drug stores, etc sell it) and has been used for ages to help with milk supply. It makes you smell like maple syrup. Blessed Thistle, Nettle, and Fennel can help, too. You can try Motherlove's More Milk Plus or More Milk Special Blend products, which have all of these in one capsule or drop. My farmer's market grocery store sells it, as does the breastfeeding store, and Amazon.com. Check with a Lactation Consultant or your doctor before taking anything though--DON'T take my advice.

13. Look for help. There are free things. Your hospital might let you use their LC for free--every hospital is different. Watch youtube videos on proper latch, position, etc, if those are your problems. Try kellymom.com. Try La Leche. Try breastfeeding stores. Try breastfeeding support groups. I will say that as much as the breastfeeding activists can be extreme, they are passionate about it, and many are often willing to help you, even if they're a little too helpful or passionate ;) I just ordered this book--I'll let you know if it helps and I can post anything I find to be helpful. You can also hire a lactation consultant to do a private session with you. The going rate around here seems to be $60-$80ish for 1-2 hours, depending on the consultant. They might be less in your area, or if you do a session in her office or at a neutral location, rather than at your home.

14. Get help early on. I regret not getting help earlier. It's easier to keep a supply up, rather than reverse or improve a dwindling one. I wish I would have just gotten over my hangups with the extremists and sought help sooner.

15. Milk production hormones are highest in the early mornings, around 4:00am. If you're up then and can manage a few minutes of pumping, do so. If you're not, don't wake yourself up to do it. Sleep is important to milk production, too. But, just try to pump as often in the mornings as you can without exhausting yourself.  The hormone drops throughout the day and is lowest around supper time, so don't be discouraged if evening nursing/pumping is harder. This is normal for EVERYONE. 

16. If you're pregnant, ask to see the Lactation Consultant in the hospital when you deliver. They all have them, but each hospital only has 1-2, so by default, you'll just see a nurse who has a basic knowledge of nursing. You usually have to specifically request to see the LC. It's free while you're there. They'll probably say something like, "Oh, the nurse can help you." Politely request to see the LC anyway. :) Even if you think nursing is going great or you have no reason to suspect a problem, ask to see her. Professional help can't possibly hurt, and it ISN'T as simple as just sticking the baby on the boob, even if you don't have any supply problems. I asked every day was in the hospital. One day, they were too busy with day 1 moms, but I did get to see one the other 4 days. Pump in the hospital if you have the energy. First, you get to take home the pump parts you use (free!), so you don't have to buy them later. Even if you have a personal pump, if the hospital pump is the same brand, you can use the parts on your personal pump. And even if you rent a hospital grade pump, you have to buy the flanges and tubes and valves, so it's nice to get these things for free. If you have the space, even if you don't think you need them right away or at all, take them home and stick them in a closet and hang on to them until you're done nursing. Save yourself the money. But beyond that, pumping in the hospital just gives you the added time with that great resource for free. You can retrieve more colostrum (it was great the first time Matthew was sick--I pulled out a tube of his colostrum and gave it to him for the added antibodies) and it can encourage your milk to come in sooner. You can take home whatever you pump in the hospital. Breast milk keeps up to 8 days in the fridge and the hospital will refrigerate it for you. No sense in NOT pumping and bringing that milk home, if you have the energy, time, and physical comfort to squeeze in some sessions. Even if you never have any nursing issues, the freezer milk is nice to mix with baby's solids, to give you and DH a date out, to feed to baby in a bottle or cup if he's congested or his teeth are bothering him or he otherwise can't/won't suck. Take advantage of the free resource while you can!

17. Save your receipts! Check with your tax-preparer, but the woman who owns the store here that I mentioned said that under new legislation, breastfeeding supplies are now tax-deductible. If you have an FSA, you can rent/purchase your supplies with your FSA.

Ok, I think that's everything I can think of. I'm not an expert by any means, but those things have helped me in just under 2 weeks time. Several people have been offering to babysit DS so that DH and I could have a date. I haven't been able to take anyone up on it because of the supply issues--DS still eats every 2 hours (not really long enough for us to go anywhere if he eats at both the top and the bottom of the 2 hour window), and I had only 1 2.7oz tube left in the freezer that I wasn't willing to use except in an emergency, and I wasn't able to pump anything else. I now have about 9 precious ounces in the freezer and add a little more every day, plus I have enough to make Matthew's oatmeal with every day, too. A date with my DH might be in my future after all. :)

Adventures in Nursing

"Imagine yourself as a fountain of milk." Yep, that's what Dr. Sears suggests (among other things) as a method for improving breast pumping efficiency. I think he might know my Bradley teacher, who told me to imagine my cervix was a flower. No wonder I would fail Attachment Parenting 101. I have yet to master the art of the ridiculous metaphor. I mean seriously? But I digress... (Disclaimer: I actually have no problem with AP--it's not a philosophy we choose but I don't think it's bad or harmful so more power to those of you who choose it! But really? A fountain of milk?)

Let me back up. How did I get here?

Ah yes. Milk issues. Breast feeding advocates will often list off reasons why "breast is best," among them being, "It's free! All you need is a baby and a boob! Think of all the money you'll save by not buying formula!"

Ah, but as we all know, my body doesn't like to do anything properly. Nope. Nothing.

We had trouble getting Matthew to latch right in the hospital. When he was under the bili-lights and could only be out for 30 minutes at a time and we were spending over half of those fighting with him to latch, the lactation consultant in the hospital finally gave us a nipple shield to make it easier for him. At that time, it really was best, because he could spend all 30 minutes eating, instead of only 10 or 15.  We tried to break him of it when we got home, and couldn't. I waited a few weeks again, and couldn't. Lather, rinse, repeat. He's now 7 months old, and still using the darned thing. And for a while, it didn't matter. It wasn't affecting my supply, or the amount of milk he was getting. He was growing and thriving, I was producing well, everything was hunky dorey. Woohoo!

That all changed about a month ago. I started noticing that at his evening feeding in particular, he was super fussy. He would pull off and cry, then nurse, then cry, over and over and over again. It wasn't the normal evening fussiness for babies. After an hour of this, he'd still act like he was starving. At one feeding, I weighed him, fed him, and weighed him again and he'd only taken in half an ounce after being at both breasts for an extended amount of time. I would pump until I ached, and only produce about 1/2 an ounce total, even if it had been hours since baby ate. It was time to call in some help. I had tried to help myself by taking fenugreek and pumping more, but something wasn't working. (Edited to add clarification: the nipple shield is not the cause of my supply issues. It may have a slight adverse affect, but it's not the primary problem. We're trying to eliminate it now to remove all negative variables, even though the impact of this particular one is relatively small).

I talked to some nursing mommy friends. I called the hospital and talked to the LC there. I read a lot online. One thing I decided to do was rent a hospital-grade pump. These pumps are usually stronger and provide a smoother suck, more akin to a baby's suck. Through a chain of referrals, I ultimately ended up at a wonderful little store (Modern Mommy Boutique if you're in the Phoenix area), and the owner there really knows her stuff. She experienced supply issues with her own daughter and had to go to great lengths to fix them, so she had a lot of ideas for me. I tried a couple of different hospital grade pumps, and ended up with the Ameda Platinum. She also suggested that I take More Milk Special Blend. She immediately asked me if I had PCOS. I said yes, and she said that I needed to rebuild mammary tissue and suggested that in addition to fenugreek, I take other supplements, including Goat's Rue. The More Milk Special Blend specifically contains those ingredients. It's specifically formulated for PCOS. More information on PCOS and supply issues can be found here. So I now drink water like a camel, take the supplement 4 times a day, and pump as often as I can, usually 2-3 times per day.  And I have noticed a difference. Now I can pump anywhere from 2-4 ounces per day, depending on how often I pump. And that amount seems to be increasing every day. That's not a ton, but it's enough that I can mix that amount in with his oatmeal or fruits for his dinner feeding and make sure he's still getting as much of my milk as possible. He doesn't seem to struggle quite so much in the evenings with his feeds.

I'm also having a very recent problem with pain. Nursing shouldn't hurt. After your first few days, it almost always indicates something is wrong. Something with position, with the latch, with your body--something.

Today, I  went to a breastfeeding support group led by an LC. We're still trying to break Matthew of his plastic habit, and she suggested I try a different shield, that's sort of between the size and shape of the natural breast and the shape of the old shield, to see if that can sort of step him down back to the breast. We'll see. She also made some adjustments to my positioning.

So, for me, breastfeeding isn't free. It costs about $150/month in pump rental, supplements, tax, and various odds and ends that come up (but yay! As of this year, things to aid in breastfeeding are tax deductible!) It may cost more if I decide to go with a private LC consultation.

I did everything possible to maximize my chance of success at nursing. We took a great class together before Matthew was born. I have the support of a hubby who is on board with it. I watched videos and read about latching and positions. I talked with nursing mama friends. I eat galactagogue foods and drink a ton of water. I insisted on seeing the LC every day I was in the hospital.

And you know what? Sometimes, that's just not enough. Sometimes, nursing is just HARD. In earlier times when we lived with our mothers and sisters and cousins and friends, a woman was surrounded by tons of built-in help. Now, in our single-family-home culture, you have to seek out help, and even then, it's usually in small chunks of time.

Why am I writing all of this? I guess to assure you that if you struggle with it, THAT'S OK. More women than you know struggle with nursing. A lot of women decide they have exhausted all their options and stop nursing altogether. I thought I was at that point--I didn't WANT to stop but I thought I had run out of options. If you need help, or if it doesn't come naturally, that's ok! Don't get down on yourself about it. I struggle a little with my attitude about it--one more thing my body can't or won't do on its own for my baby. But I am thankful that so far, there seem to be remedies.

If you want to keep nursing, keep at it. Seek out help. You may have to get creative. Keep your spirits up and your patience long. If you have exhausted your patience or your will or your resources and you've reached the end of your nursing journey, that's ok, too! Thankfully, we live in a country with several great options of formula alternatives.

If you do seek out help, I guess, just take it with a grain of salt. There are some real breastfeeding nazis out there, which is honestly, the reason I didn't seek professional help sooner. I've been judged for my use of the shield.  I've been judged for preferring to nurse under a cover or in the privacy of a dressing room or even in my car while away from the home (one person called me a pervert who must secretly find breastfeeding to be dirty, and another said I must be ashamed of it. I assure you, neither are the case. For modesty's sake and for preserving what I believe to be private between my son and I, when I am around strangers, and/or men who are not related to me, I choose to cover up). For some people, breastfeeding is a cause. For me, I just wanted to be able to feed my son. So, as long as you can ignore or blow off the activists and militants, the help out there can be wonderful.  Your hospital where you delivered may offer free help. You may have a breastfeeding store near you like I do. There are tons of books and websites. You can find a support group. You can hire a private LC. You can hook up with the La Leche League if you're really brave.

And like I said, if you have gone as far down the journey as you are able or willing to go and end up closing the book, that's ok too. I am definitely NOT an activist and how you feed your child is none of my business. But if you ARE struggling and DO want to continue, just know you're not alone and you don't have to throw in the towel if you don't want to. There's nothing inherently wrong with you if it doesn't come as easy as the sing-songers say it should. Sometimes you DO need more than a baby and a boob, and that's ok. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Infertility makes it even tougher when something else goes wrong (pregnancy, birth, nursing, or in my case, all 3!) and part of me is like, "Seriously? I have to fight for THIS, too?" But it's also been a good reminder to me that that's what's in store for me as Matthew's mom. It's my job as a parent to fight for him to bring us to what we think is best for him. I had to fight to bring him out of the freezer and keep him safe in my body. I had to fight to deliver him, and now I'm fighting to feed him. It's HARD. But, it's my pain, my job, and my joy, all beautifully and inextricably interwoven together. I will encourage my IF friends, that the fighting now is a little easier. It's the same fight as before, but with a baby in arms, it's easier to see the forest for the trees. Easier to look down and see WHY you're fighting. Easier to look back on previous battles and go, "ah, now I see why." So if you're in the midst of a fight for your kids, either future kids or those already in your arms, be encouraged. You're doing something right! Every mom has to fight for her kids. We just get a little extra practice :)

If you ARE pregnant and plan to nurse, see if you can't find a breastfeeding class (ours was offered through the hospital). I learned a TON. And beyond the practicality, it's just plain COOL. The way God designed it is really amazing and incredible. Both DH and I were enthralled at the sheer intricacy of all the details.

Anyway, that's my PSA for the day, and one of the posts I referred to last week in my previous post. I've been working on this for days, but my aggressive pursuit of these things this week delayed me.

And in Matthew news, we finally have our first tooth. It poked through on Friday (8/26) during naptime. It's a bittersweet time for this mama, who already misses his gummy little smile. It's also made all these nursing issues super fun ;)

And on another note, I'm so glad I've been keeping this blog because I hadn't been recording the dates he learned to do things or developed new things. I had to fill out an update for Nightlight last week and it was nice to have this to go back and refer to when they asked me things about when certain things occurred. I also used it to finally fill in my baby calendar. So, if I include dates on things from now on, it's not that I think you're all so intricately hung up on the details of Matthew's life--it's so I can retrieve them later!

Anyway, toodaloo!

Lessons in Parenting

I'm beginning to think that parenting can be all about fear...if you let it.

First, you're afraid you won't get pregnant. And then you do, and you're afraid of miscarriage. Then you're afraid of birth defects. By the third trimester, you're afraid of cord accidents and problems with labor and delivery. Then, before you  know it, your little one is here, and you're afraid of everything and you just want to put them back inside where they can stay safe! And you're afraid you might lose your mind with sleep deprivation ;)

I am a fearful person in general. I always have been. I'm just a big fat chicken. I determined at the beginning of my pregnancy that I didn't want to be a fearful parent. And God brought me through my pregnancy, mostly without fear. There was some there, but nothing compared to what ought to have been there given my natural tendencies.

We took Matthew to church this weekend. He was 5 weeks and 1 day old. Our pediatrician wanted us to wait until 8 weeks, after his shots. If it were up to me, I would wait until he was 16 before he could go out, and only then if everyone around him wore Haz-Mat suits. We needed to do an errand recently--I literally raced through the store as fast as I could. The baby was sound asleep, so it wasn't to keep him from fussing--it was to minimize his exposure to "other people." I realized I was becoming ridiculous, and governed by fear.  So, I decided that the things that he'd get his shots at 8 weeks for aren't things he'd catch at church or Target anyway, and we made the conscious decision to go to church on Sunday. I even let other folks hold him, which was also an exercise for me, because I wanted all of them to be screened by the CDC first (don't get me wrong, I love and trust my church family...but, those GERMS!).  But I don't want to be THAT mom! I want Matthew to grow up unafraid, and with parents who are unafraid. I want him to know that rich freedom and security that comes with life in Christ. I don't want him to struggle the way I do. So I made a choice to lay down my fear, to trust the Lord with his health, and we went out. And it was wonderful.

Today I think the Lord maybe is calling my bluff. Matthew has been out of sorts all day. It might be a growth spurt (I hope so) but his voice also sounds a little funny--hoarse, almost. My immediate response was to regret our decision on Sunday. I second guessed and mentally kicked myself. And then I realized that I was falling into the same trap, just after-the-fact, instead of before. I obviously have a lot to learn. And Matthew is sleeping peacefully now, so whatever it is/was can't be bothering himself too much.

Going to church was so wonderful because we got to show this little miracle to our dear church family who prayed us to this point over the last many years. He was held and loved on by so many people who have prayed for and loved him for years. We also got to hear a wonderful message on abiding in the Lord. I really needed to hear it. I mean, really. And the kicker is that it was given by a 23 or 24 year old guy-- I have so much to learn from him!

My mother in law asked me this week what our prayer requests are. I was ashamed to say that in recent weeks, my prayers have focused almost exclusively on, God, please make him sleep. God, please let him stay asleep. God, please let me sleep. Some prayer life, huh?

Life with a newborn has become about survival. And I don't want that, either. I feed him, cuddle him, put him down, and then race to clean the house or make the meals or do the laundry before he wakes up. Then when he's feeding, I try to balance the laptop on my lap and get caught up on computer related things. And I realized that I wasn't abiding in time with my son, either.  And with DH? Well, we're lucky right now if we're awake and in the same location at the same time these days. Guess I've got the same story in all my major relationships right now. I want change. I want the energy to exact that change.

So, I've begun just enjoying the time with my son. I gaze on him while he's eating. I cuddle him just because. I realize that all too soon, he's not going to want to spend all day in my arms. And even if I ever have another child, I won't have this same opportunity because big brother Matthew will be running around, wanting my attention, too. So, I've been taking it slow. The house is suffering, but thankfully those people who've been over enough to observe that have been gracious. I just look at my son and my breath catches in my chest. Have you ever just wanted to stop time? I feel like it's racing by, and I desperately want it to slow down--to stay this way forever, even. I love that when he's upset, I am of comfort to him. It's pretty incredible to be someone's safe place. My heart overflows.


DH and I steal moments together where we can. Thankfully, he is patient too, and we both know that this is just a season. We are so grateful we had 10 years of just us. It definitely makes this time easier.


But most importantly, I'm trying to envision myself like my son, in the arms of MY Father.  How wonderful it would be to spend all day in HIS arms. To lie peacefully without a care in the world. To let Him be my safe place.  It intrigues me that that has to be a discipline for me, rather than an M.O. Thank God that He is patient with me. So I'm trying to abide more, scurry less. More Mary, less Martha. I want to be the kind of woman whose relationship with the Lord is an example to her son, such that he grows up with a heart for the Word and for prayer like the young guy who gave the message on Sunday.

We were going to visit a dear friend this morning who had cancer. When DH and Matthew both woke up not feeling well, we rescheduled for later in the week. That friend passed away this afternoon. We are so sorry to lose her. We are grateful that we got to introduce her to Matthew a little over a week ago. She was one of his big prayer warrior champions. She knew how to abide in the Lord. She was a Mary, though she recognized that her natural leaning was to be a Martha. I learned much from her and I will miss her dearly.

I must go--baby will be up soon to eat and then we all need to go to bed. In the mean time, I'd appreciate your prayers that Matthew really is not getting sick, that DH doesn't get any sicker, and for Kay's dear family and loved ones as they grieve her loss.

My Recommendations

I've only had Matthew for 10 days, so take these recommendations with a grain of salt, but I thought I'd pass on a few things I've learned.

First, from my packing list for the labor and post-partum bags.

This was my original list:

Birthing Tub with pump
Cord Blood Kit
Birthing Ball (hospital said to bring your own because they don't have enough)
Camera with extra memory, and battery charger
Massage Aides with extra batteries
Cell Charger
Corn Bag (bag full of corn kernels-you microwave the whole thing for heat)
Scriptures and scotch tape
Crocs
Warm Socks (I hate cold feet!)
Flip Flops for Shower
Bra/Bikini Top to labor in
Bathing Suit for DH
Ipod with charger and little speaker
Baby Book to stamp his footprints and handprints in
My pillow
Chapstick
Water bottle
Battery operated fan (I'm always hot!)
Disposable camera
ETA: Snacks (I had this on my list but forgot to type it)

For post-partum I have:
Toiletries
My meds, DH's meds
My own pjs, undergarments, etc
Tucks
PJs and change of clothes for DH
Clothes for Matthew
Going home clothes for me and Matthew
Scrapbook paper for hospital visitors to sign
Receiving blanket
Carseat
Phone numbers to call (in case we forget our cells)
Snacks

DH originally laughed at me, but you know what, I used almost everything on my lists. The only things I didn't use were the Tucks because I had a CSection, and a water bottle because the hospital gave me a water mug. I also didn't use flip flops for the shower because I was too tired to care! But I used everything else!

However, the most useful things were these things--so if you have to limit your stuff, these are my top picks!
*Depends--SO much better than the hospital underwear and pads!
*Chapstick!
*My tub--check and see if your hospital allows you to labor in water-we just brought our own inflatable kiddie pool and put it in the hospital bathroom
*My own robe-so nice for walking around and not having to worry about jerry-rigging two hospital gowns together
*My own pillow and blanket (not on my original list but mom went home and fetched them for me)

The only thing I wished I had and didn't was something to smell in labor, especially if you're prone to vomiting. Some of the instruments, medications, sterilizing solutions, etc can really stink and several times, their smells caused me to be sick. I would have loved to have something to smell like a candle or an oil or lotion or something to mask the odors. I also would have paid $100 for a piece of sandpaper or something else to scratch itches with. The epidural made me so itchy all over and DH (like most men, I imagine!) keeps his nails short so while he offered to help me, he couldn't help that particular issue. So, bring something like a back scratcher or something just in case.

Now, there are two things I've picked up as a mommy since his birth:


The Itzbeen Baby Timer. It times the intervals at which you change diapers, feed the baby, the length of nap, and a 4th thing of your choosing that you want to time--I use it right now to time the frequency at which I take my pain meds. It also has an indicator to keep track of which side you nursed on last. This little gizmo is so handy, especially in the middle of the night when I'm tired--I just hit the little button and then I don't need to really be alert!

The other thing is a

Milkies Milk Saver

You slip it in your bra to catch extra milk for when you're leaking. I guess you could wear it all the time--for me, I just use it on the opposite side when I'm nursing--I can catch more than an ounce from just leaking! It's definitely nice to be able to preserve that milk rather than watch it go to waste in a breast pad!

My little man is currently passed out on my chest and I'm loving it :) We're off to go to bed now because we're still trying to get our nights and days straightened out. My hormones seem to be stabilizing. I haven't burst into tears in two days ;) My mom went home on Monday and my mother in law has been here the last 3 days to help--tomorrow we're on our own 100% of the time for the first time--hopefully we do well. It's been so nice to have their help and it's helped me get out from under feeling quite so overwhelmed and exhausted. I'm a bit afraid of tomorrow, but less afraid than I was a few days ago. They've been such a blessing to me. So, we'll see how we do tomorrow!

We got some pictures done yesterday at Penneys:










FYI, here's a coupon you can print--free sitting fees for everyone (not just one person like on their regular coupons) and $3.99 per photo sheet. Link. Enjoy!

It was freezing in Phoenix today--literally! We had to go to the hospital to get his PKU test done so we bundled up and headed out. I love this little pout on his face. He was mad at being put in his jacket. Isn't he just the cutest thing?



That's all I've got for tonight! We're off to bed! Goodnight!