Raising the White Flag

My nausea and vomiting went away for about a week last week, then came back on Saturday, just as strong as ever. The frequency at which I'm sick seems to be increasing, rather than decreasing. I still have not gained any weight, and have stayed at the 6 pounds lost since the transfer date (thankfully I did stop losing). Last night I was supposed to take care of the kids and I ended up lying down in one of their rooms while DH did everything (on that note, he's going to SO good with our kids). I was so violently ill that I think I scared Skyler. He kept coming up to me the rest of the night and holding up my cup and putting the straw to my mouth and saying "drink more water Doodah." Then he asked for some Cheerios, so I gave him some, and then he said "you have some cheerios Doodah. Still sick Doodah?" When a 3 year old is taking care of me, rather than the other way around, I know it's time to throw in the towel. When I woke up this morning and was sick before I even got out of bed, I said, "enough is enough."

I had tried every natural method, and I'd tried the B6/Uni.som combination and had no luck. My diet consists mainly of bread, yogurt, and popsicles. I'm almost completely through this trimester, and I'm not able to nourish myself or baby, or exercise, or take my vitamins, or sleep well. I decided all of that was more detrimental than the potential side effects of drugs that are generally considered to be safe, because bad nutrition has definite side-effects; medications are only maybes.

So I called the doctor this morning and asked for help. I had been praying that I'd be able to get through this without a prescription because honestly, while I trust my doctor implicitly, taking anything makes me very, very nervous. He prescribed Re.glan, which is like the first line option after the B6/Uni.som so it's still pretty mild. I'm really praying that this does it, because for my own peace of mind, I'd really love to avoid taking anything stronger. I'd love your prayers in to that end!

The medicine is supposed to make me really drowsy, so I'd also love prayers that I can regain some sort of normalcy, even in the midst of the drowsiness. Drowsy has still got to be better than the other stuff.

Honestly, I feel like such a wimp. I struggled so long with this--I wanted to be pregnant for so long and now I feel like I can't take it! I've never ever thought that about anyone else who has needed medical help, so I don't know why I'm putting so much pressure on myself, but I am. Guess it's my first case of "mommy guilt." I guess I feel sort of obligated to suck it up and tough it out, since I asked for this. I kept telling myself that women have dealt with NVP for centuries with no help. My best friend pointed out that women also died in their 30s, so just because things were a certain way before, they weren't necessarily better, simply because they were more primitive. Another friend pointed out that if I lived centuries ago, I wouldn't even be pregnant, so why get down on modern medicine, now? They both have a point :D

So anyway, I'm about to take dose 2, and I'm just praying for physical, emotional and spiritual peace. I don't know why it's stressing me out as much as it is. But I have to keep telling myself that this has to be better than the alternative.

On a fun note, I got a diaper bag, today.




This website I go to, Baby Half Off, which is like Woot.com for baby stuff, featured these bags for half price, recently, which made them only about $10 more than a basic bag at Tar.get or something. It arrived today-I'm so excited. Even though we don't know if baby is a boy or a girl, I figured that I'm the one carrying the bag, and I'm a girl, so I could go with the pink! :) It's so cute and I think it will be functional (I love the drawer and all the pockets) and it was so fun to officially buy something for baby! It's the little things, I guess!

Anyway, off to take dose 2 and lie down. Thanks for your prayers!