8 Months

Matthewsaurus turned 8 months old yesterday!

Stats:
Weight: 18lb, 1.5oz, putting him at 10-25% for weight.

Length: I'm not sure. We tried to measure him 3 times and got 28.5 and 29". But I watched the nurse measure him twice at the doctor's office last month, and she got 29.25" both times. So who knows. We are apparently measuring-defective.

Milestones: He now has *2* teeth! His second poked through on September 12th, again after one of his naps.

Likes: He's loving "real" food. He growls constantly at feeding time, as if to say "Faster, momma!" He's so enthusiastic about it, but kind of pushy, too. I'm trying to revel in its cuteness, and also keep it under control. My little dude has always been impatient about eating so this is par for the course. His favorites are mangoes and pineapples. Pineapples really surprised me because they're so acidic. But he goes nuts for them. Pears come in a close second. He also loves the pool and bath time. He loves to splash in the water. He's too big for his sink bathtub, so he and daddy take big boy baths now and they both love it. He still loves to bounce. And he LOVES the baby in the mirror. That baby is SOOO cute! Every time he sees that guy, he squeals and laughs and tries to touch and kiss the baby. He loves other babies, too. A few weeks ago at church, he was playing with another baby. The baby started to roll away, so Matthew grabbed him and rolled him back. Tonight we were at a party and he kept trying to hold hands with his little friend there. So cute!

Dislikes: Green beans. Pumpkin. Banana (did you ever meet a kid who didn't like banana?! I'm the only one I knew who didn't like banana as a kid). Car rides. Naptime. Being still. The usual stuff a busy little boy can't be bothered with.

Current Disposition: Busy! Busy! Busy! And impatient, to boot!

Working on: He is starting to pull himself around on the floor. He can push himself up on his hands and get his body from his head down to his knees off the ground. But then he gets annoyed that that doesn't actually help him get anywhere and he gets back down and rolls. He once in a while gets on his knees and does this funny little rock back and forth thing but that's about all the interest he's showed in crawling. He's just too impatient for it. It's so much faster to roll, why would he slow down to try to crawl?

So, that's my busy little dude!
Here are some pics!






Toodaloo!

A Matthew by Any Other Name

I've been wanting to record some of the nicknames we have for Matthew so that I don't forget them :) So, here they are. Enjoy, or if not, I'll just consult this post for my own purposes later :)

In no particular order:
Hippo (as in "Hungry Hungry Hippo") --this was what we commonly called him when he was very little and ate all the time. It had nothing to do with his size-we weren't calling him fat :P

Matthewsaurus -this is what we call him now. I'm also Mommysaurus and DH is Daddysaurus. Not sure exactly where it came from, but I like all things little boy for him--cars, monsters (cute ones), dinosaurs, jungle animals, etc, so I think it came out of that. And maybe the fact that he has gigantic feet. Seriously. His little friend at church is 2 years old, but guess whose feet are larger?!

Grumpysaurus-when he's cranky ;)

Sweetie-pea--usually when we're snuggling

Little dude- his daddy is "dude" (named by our friends' kids) so it's only fitting that he is "little dude."

Cutest baby in the whole wide world--well, because he is!

Monster-he was really into roaring for a while so I called him my little monster. Not like a big scary monster, but like a cute little furry one.

Matthew-man--when he does big boy things

Babyface-another one with an unknown origin

Napoleon-this was short lived. We used it when he was really being bad about sleeping. I was sleep deprived, and I called him my little tyrant, so Todd called him Napoleon. It sounds terrible, but it added levity when I thought I would lose my mind from sleep deprivation. Besides, he was a cute little tyrant. ;)

Oddly enough, we never call him Matt, or Matty, or any other shortened version of Matthew. My mom calls him "M" for some reason, and another friend calls him Matty. But when we use his actual name, it's always "Matthew." I'm not even adverse to "Matt" --in fact, when choosing names, we specifically only considered ones that we liked both the full and shortened versions of. But for some reason, at least right now, "Matt" just doesn't fit.

I know there are others that I've already forgotten. If you know me IRL and remember any others, please let me know!

Happy Birthday, Ewan

If you have a minute today, please remember the Petermann family in your prayers. Today is the first birthday of their son, Ewan Eliezar. Only, Ewan was born with a broken heart, and died just 16 days after he was born. Please remember his mommy and daddy in your prayers today, along with his baby sister on the way, Austen.

Happy Birthday, sweet little Ewan.

Another cool thing

I took Matthew to a new pediatrician yesterday. The old one was really giving me a hard time about Matthew's weight (he dropped from the 90% down to the 10-25%). I was working on getting my supply up, we weren't having the evening fussy/hunger issues anymore, the baby's color and mood is fine, he sleeps well, and he's on track developmentally, so I just wasn't willing to increase his solids and/or start him on formula, which is what the doctor was really aggressively pushing. As it is, it's a total workout for him to digest one solid foods meal per day, and not to be gross, but it comes out looking largely the same way it did when it went in, meaning he's not digesting a whole lot of it. Why would I give him more or something his body clearly isn't ready to process yet, and which he's very obviously not hugely benefiting from? Plus, when we did give him solids more than once a day, he was just miserable. I got tired of fighting with this pediatrician over it. Between that and the hassle he gives us about our beliefs on certain vaccines, I was finally done. I'd been done for a long time, but hadn't found a good alternative yet.

The LC I met with recommended one as being particularly supportive of breastfeeding, and open to alternate vaccine schedules. So yesterday, we went to visit him. He said that Matthew's weight is worth watching (it's not so much how much he weighs as how drastically his growth slowed-some plateau is normal but Matthew's has been pretty severe), but that he's not very concerned about it. He completely supports our decision to keep breast milk Matthew's primary nutrition right now, and said that we don't need to worry unless he's still struggling to put on weight at 9-12 months. He does want us to move toward more solids by a year old, but that's what we planned to do anyway. He was also completely supportive of the things we discussed with him regarding vaccines. I really think he's going to be a good fit for us! What a huge answer to prayer. I haven't liked our old pediatrician ever, but we found him really late in the game with my pregnancy (too late to find someone else-if I recall correctly, I delivered Matthew a week later), and DH did like him, so we've stuck with him. But I grew increasingly frustrated with him and it wasn't hugely important to DH that we stay with that guy, so I am glad to have found someone better! Praise God!

But the really cool thing is along the lines of this post. DH is 6'4". I am 6'2". The genetic parents are 5'2 and 5'9--in her words, "stumps." Their kids are petite, too. Matthew measured in the 95% for height yesterday! Isn't that just so stinkin cool? We think so...

Vacay!

It's  not-so-secret fact that Phoenix is hot. It's especially hot in August. The temps are high, and with monsoon season, it's very muggy as well. But this year, it's been even more hot. We normally have an average of 17 days that are over 110 degrees (trust me, after about 105, you feel every single degree. There IS a noticeable difference between 100 and 110). This year, we had 33 days over 110, and about a dozen more days at 109. My sweet DH works outside, working on cars. Normally, we try to get away in August to give him a break from the heat.  It's so good for his mental and physical rest.

In the summer between 6th grade and junior high, my parents moved. We joined a local church and, as is the case with most junior highers, they weren't too welcoming to me, the "new girl." So, I spent most of my time with adults and with little kids. Once, I was asked to babysit some kids during some kind of function for the adults. I had 5 kids--2 sets of siblings whose parents were best friends. One was a very young baby. Then one girl was around 3, and they went up in age from there til around age 7 or 8.  We had a good time, but the boys gave me a run for my money. I was in the sanctuary later, and a man asked me how it had gone. I thought he was just being polite. I remember saying "the girls were great, but that kid Shane really gave me a hassle!" The man responded with, "that's my son!" Whoops! I felt like a dork! Well, thankfully, I didn't offend him too badly, and I became the primary babysitter for both families throughout their kids' childhoods, until I moved away to college. Additionally, Shane's parents were also youth leaders, and in the absence of friends my own age in the group, I tended to stick close to them. All these years later, I'm still in touch with them. His parents grew to be my friends, in addition to some of my mentors.  And the kids have grown to be wonderful, amazing adults. I love this family very dearly!

Well, that little boy Shane is getting married! I can't hardly believe it! So, we postponed our normally summer vacation until November, when we'll have the joy of going out to attend the wedding. We'll also be spending some time near the University we both attended, visiting old friends.

But, given this awful heat, it was a terrible summer to not get away! At the end of the last couple of weeks, DH has just been wiped out. The heat is so taxing on him. I decided that I would try to get him out of the heat, even just for a day or two, for a mental reset. I posted on my facebook page, "I need to get DH out of this heat. Any suggestions for a cheap place to get away for a day or two?" I was hoping someone would respond with something like "I saw a groupon special for blah blah blah" or "the Motel 6 in my town is $20" or something like that. Though I've lived in Arizona for 8 years, I've not traveled this state much, so I didn't even really know what my options were.

Shane's mom, Robin, saw my post and said that she had a timeshare with locations all over, including Sedona, a town about 2 hours from us, and would we like to use it for a couple of days? WOW! We were stunned! It was a 3 day weekend. Pretty much, every Arizonan flees north on 3 day weekends, so we tend to stay close. But the time Robin was able to get us in was Sunday-Tuesday. PERFECT! We were going north as all the other ants were coming back down south. No traffic, no crowds, but because it WAS a holiday weekend, DH didn't have to take much time off work. Talk about amazing.

So, I spent Friday prepping our food for the weekend. Robin told me she was booking us in a studio apartment, so it had a fridge, a microwave, a stovetop, a toaster, a blender (!), pots and pans, dishes, and silverware. AWESOME. I made up some Oatmeal Breakfast Cake for us for breakfast--which meant, my crockpot stayed home! (Long term readers of my blog know that I take my mini crockpot on vacations to make our breakfast to save money). But my girlfriend Katie shared a recipe for Oatmeal breakfast cake. I decided to give it a try and leave my trusty little sidekick at home. Not hauling the crockpot also meant not hauling the oats, cinnamon, vanilla, raisins, brown sugar, etc. Bonus! My poor car was already stuffed to the gills with all the stuff we needed for baby, so saving any space was awesome. The bread was yummy! I packed things for sandwiches, snacky things, bottled water, and a casserole I had made in advance. We packed it all up and hauled it with us. I fixed all of our meals except one in our cute little kitchen!

We got to the hotel and it was awesome!  We had the great little kitchen, a dining table, a sitting area, an amazingly comfortable bed, and little patio with two chairs, overlooking a pool. Plus, it seems to be a magnet for elderly people, so it was exceptionally quiet! We usually stay in budget hotels that tend to draw the roudy party crowd, due to the affordable price.

Here were our digs for 2 days! Note, this is the next morning. A hotel bed-maker, I am not. The room looked immaculate when we arrived.


Matthew with his new favorite toy, an empty water bottle.





Our view:


My breakfast :)


I packed a spare window panel curtain and a bunch of binder clips, hoping we would be able to fashion a little area for Matthew. Wen were! Here's his little "hovel" as we called it. It was great, because we could be out of sight, and this was right under the air conditioner, so the white noise, helped him sleep and helped us have a little bit of freedom while he was sleeping. This curtain and those clips are already on the list of things to go with us in November!


We got in, unpacked, played with baby, and I fixed our dinner. While I got baby ready for bed, DH ran into town and picked up ice cream from this awesome little ice cream shop. The studio had this cute little shallow sink, perfect for bath time!


DH came back and we ate our ice cream in the dark, whispering and giggling and trying not to wake the baby. I was able to sneak away for a swim under the stars and a dunk in the jacuzzi. I came back and we played some cards out on the patio and just enjoyed time together.

The next morning, we hung out and after baby's nap, got up and went into town on the recommendation of my friend, Diana to a little shopping area called Tlaquepaque (that's a fun word!-- I think it's pronounced Tel-auck-a-pawk-ee). It's this beautiful artistic district full of shops and beautiful architecture.

Check out this view!


My little boy is turning out to be a ham, just like his dad!




We went back to the hotel and baby and daddy took another nap while I got another swim and jacuzzi dip in! For dinner, we had planned on family date night. We found this great restaurant where we shared a pizza. The best part of this restaurant was that it was upstairs, overlooking some beautiful landscaping and a red mountain, with these beautiful picture windows. A rainstorm struck during dinner, and we just sat looking at each other like, "is this really how we're spending our weekend?" It was GORGEOUS!




I loved this picture of us! I wish that I had turned on the flash!


Then we went to the quaint little uptown and just walked around. It was so glorious to just be outside!!! There was an intermittent light sprinkle, and it was 69 degrees out! We got in the car just before another big rainstorm, drove back, put baby down, and enjoyed more ice cream and games in the dark as we listened to the rain, and had a wonderful night of sleep.

Baby woke up early on Tuesday, so we went for a walk! It was about 70 degrees out. This was the view from the other side of the hotel:


Every time we were outside, Matthew just mesmerized. He's loved the outdoors his whole life, but it's been a long time since we were able to enjoy being in it, except for when we're in the pool.


We stopped at the pool so I could get one last swim and soak in while DH and baby sat on the side, chatting with me. We headed back to our room for breakfast. We tried to get baby to take a nap but he wasn't having any of it, so we packed up and decided to head back to reality. We stopped the car on the way out to get a family picture (that's why it's crooked--the camera was propped on the hood), and then we were on our way back to reality.



During the drive home, we had one last rain storm. Glorious!


We spent the evening at home just vegging, and today we were back to the daily grind! The weekend was incredible. And the fact that we had Friday afternoon and Saturday here at home first for DH to catch up on rest, and Sunday morning with our church family first, was awesome. We felt physically rested and spiritually recharged before we headed out, so we were able to enjoy vacation, instead of spending it just trying to catch up on sleep.

What a precious gift we were given! Thank you so much, Sean and Robin! We are so thankful for your generosity, and for your friendship! We'll see you, soon!

Adventures in Nursing II (Addressing Improving Low Milk Supply Issues with Breastfeeding))

I've been getting some good feedback in my comments and by email about my nursing post, so I thought I'd add a few more things that have helped me.

First, I'm sorry that so many of you are experiencing troubles, too. I hope it helps you to know you're not alone, but I'm sorry for your sake that you're struggling. It's so hard, and it can really be a blow to your mommyhood self esteem. Don't let it be! Keep plugging away, if continuing nursing is what you want!

These are some other things I've learned about improving and maintaining my milk supply. These are in no particular order, other than the order I thought of them in :)

1. Don't use a second-hand personal pump, if you can at all afford it. Ok, before you ignore this, here's why. The manufacturers tell you not to, in case some milk backflows and contaminates the pump. Honestly? I ignored this. I'm cheap and I trust the woman who shared her pump with me. I thought the odds of contamination were pretty small.  My friend is healthy and monogamous and even if there was a tiny bit of contamination, I wasn't concerned that she was going to give Matthew anything. However, personal pumps are designed for only about 400 hours of use. So if a mom pumped a combined total of an hour a day, that pump motor would be exhausted in just over a year. In my case, my friend was a work outside the home mom, so I know her pump got more than an hour of use per day. So unless you know first hand that the pump had very little use, there is a possibility that your second-hand pump could just have lost its "umph" and sucking power. Your own pump that you bought new could have lost its umph if you've been breastfeeding a long time or on your second or more child.

2. Hospital grade pumps are more affordable than you think to rent. They run anywhere from $50-$70 per month and some offer discounts if you rent in blocks of time, like 3 months. That's not pocket change by any means, and I know it's hard to swallow when a personal pump is only $200ish to BUY, but if you're having supply issues, seriously consider it. It's certainly not any more expensive than buying a lot of formula (again, NOT knocking formula at all, but if you're going to have to spend the money either way and you WANT to keep nursing, at least consider renting a hospital pump). Some hospitals rent them, as do some lactation consultants, and mother-type stores. Call the hospital where you delivered or your midwife for a referral. There are some online vendors who do it, too. It's not just that these machines are stronger. Stronger/faster sucking isn't always better. It's also that they're more similar to a baby's suck, which stimulates your milk supply better. The hospital grade pumps run smoother, and allow for more combinations of speed and suction to figure out the best fit for you. Pumping isn't just about RETRIEVING milk. It's about telling your body to make more.  Even if you're never away from your baby and never think you'll need stored milk, pump anyway if you're struggling with supply. Milk production is supply and demand. The more your body detects a request for milk, the more your body will make. The smoother function is also more comfortable on you, making it easier to pump more frequently, and less likely to cause you to give up because it hurts too much or because you're not seeing any results.

3. Pump both sides at the same time. I didn't think it made a difference if I pumped both at once, or one side, then the other. But, it does! It actually makes your body think you have twins--"Whoa! Two babies want to eat at the same time! I REALLY need to make more milk!"

4. Longer isn't always better. Neither is stronger/faster. You want to mimic a baby's habit as best you can. Babies don't suck at 80 sucks per minute for the entire feeding. They fast and shallow at first as they're stimulating and swallowing the let down. Then, they slow to long, slow, hard sucks and swallows. He may speed up again if you have another let down. Watch your baby and try to mimic his eating habits with your pump. The LC I saw yesterday said that pump for a while but when it slows to a dribble and then you get nothing for 2 minutes, stop. She said it's better to turn it off and wait for 10 minutes, then turn it on again for 10 minutes. She said it's called "power pumping." Pump 10 minutes, break 10 minutes. Pump 10 more, etc. Great to do while you're watching TV. She also suggested waiting 10-15 minutes after baby is done eating before you start pumping, rather than right after. I can't really explain it well, but somehow the starting of a "new" session sends a different message to the body than continual, endless pumping. DON'T stop a baby while he's eating (as long as he's getting milk and is hungry), but do consider these techniques when pumping to stimulate/retrieve supply.

5. Your supply can take a nose dive when baby starts sleeping longer. My dip in supply corresponds with when Matthew started sleeping between 8-12 hours a night. However, to keep your supply up, your breasts need to be stimulated 10-12 times per day. Sometimes, older babies just don't need/want to eat every 2 hours anymore. If you're up later than or before baby, pump right before you go to bed, or right after you wake up to get an extra session in. If you're not struggling with supply, these things may not be necessary, because your body adjusts to what the baby needs, and if the baby is sleeping through the night, he doesn't need the milk made during those sleeping hours, but if you do have supply issues, keeping your supply up around the clock is crucial so that your body doesn't back off production.

6. Try adding some galactagogue foods to your diet. My favorite, easiest one is oatmeal (not instant or quick oats). I make steel cut oats in my crockpot overnight and have them for breakfast. You can make Mama Jeeper's Lactation bars-bonus, they taste good! This recipe makes about 40 bars, so feel free to make in smaller batches. My friend Jess has had good luck in freezing them.

2 c. butter, Crisco, or margarine (can mix and match to equal 2 c.)
1 c. granulated sugar
2 c. packed brown sugar
4 eggs
1 Tbsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking soda
2 1/2 c. flour
1/2 c. wheat germ
1/4 c. brewer's yeast (not baking yeast) or nutritional yeast powder
1/4 c. flax meal (or whole flaxseed milled fine in a coffee grinder)
4 c. oatmeal (old fashioned, or as thick-cut as you can find)
1 bag mini semi sweet chocolate chips
1 c. nuts (optional)

Cream butter and sugars well, then add eggs and vanilla. Beat until well blended. Mix all dry ingredients (except for oats, chips, and nuts) in separate bowl. Combine the wet and dry ingredients all at once, stirring as well as possible by hand. Mix with beaters until smooth. Add oats and chips (and nuts, if desired), and stir until well blended. Divide dough into five parts.

Line a 10 X 7 cookie sheet (with shallow sides, like a jellyroll pan) with foil. Spray foil with nonstick spray. Spread 1/5 of the dough into the foil-lined pan and bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees.

When done, simply lift out foil to remove the bars. Place another piece of foil into the pan and spray for the next batch. Allow to cool at least slightly before cutting each pan of bars into eighths.

7. Water, water, water. Divide your weight in half. Drink that number in ounces of water, every day.

8. Drink a lot of water right before you pump. I have to say I got this tip from Dr. Sears, so, milk fountains aside, that one helped!

9. Have skin to skin contact with your baby as much as possible. Skin to skin contact stimulates prolactin, which is what makes milk. Strip your baby down to his diaper when you feed him, and hold him against your bare chest/torso whenever possible.

10. Prime the pump often. Put the baby to the breast whenever you can, and pump in the off times. Especially with older babies, they may not ask to eat as often as you need to be stimulated. Try to squeeze in an extra session if you can. Especially in the summer heat, the extra hydration for baby is good anyway.

11. Don't rule out other issues like hormones, medications, and diet. Do you have diabetes, or PCOS, or some other endocrine issue? Talk to your endocrinologist or your RE, or even your OB if you're having issues. I linked to a great resource in my last post about PCOS and milk supply. You could do all of the things above and your body could still be working against you. Hormonal imbalances can affect your milk making hormones. Also check to see if any medications you're on could be impacting things. If you're not drinking enough water, or if you eating/drinking things that dehydrate you, that can affect you.

12. Consider supplements. Fenugreek is easily available (grocery stores, drug stores, etc sell it) and has been used for ages to help with milk supply. It makes you smell like maple syrup. Blessed Thistle, Nettle, and Fennel can help, too. You can try Motherlove's More Milk Plus or More Milk Special Blend products, which have all of these in one capsule or drop. My farmer's market grocery store sells it, as does the breastfeeding store, and Amazon.com. Check with a Lactation Consultant or your doctor before taking anything though--DON'T take my advice.

13. Look for help. There are free things. Your hospital might let you use their LC for free--every hospital is different. Watch youtube videos on proper latch, position, etc, if those are your problems. Try kellymom.com. Try La Leche. Try breastfeeding stores. Try breastfeeding support groups. I will say that as much as the breastfeeding activists can be extreme, they are passionate about it, and many are often willing to help you, even if they're a little too helpful or passionate ;) I just ordered this book--I'll let you know if it helps and I can post anything I find to be helpful. You can also hire a lactation consultant to do a private session with you. The going rate around here seems to be $60-$80ish for 1-2 hours, depending on the consultant. They might be less in your area, or if you do a session in her office or at a neutral location, rather than at your home.

14. Get help early on. I regret not getting help earlier. It's easier to keep a supply up, rather than reverse or improve a dwindling one. I wish I would have just gotten over my hangups with the extremists and sought help sooner.

15. Milk production hormones are highest in the early mornings, around 4:00am. If you're up then and can manage a few minutes of pumping, do so. If you're not, don't wake yourself up to do it. Sleep is important to milk production, too. But, just try to pump as often in the mornings as you can without exhausting yourself.  The hormone drops throughout the day and is lowest around supper time, so don't be discouraged if evening nursing/pumping is harder. This is normal for EVERYONE. 

16. If you're pregnant, ask to see the Lactation Consultant in the hospital when you deliver. They all have them, but each hospital only has 1-2, so by default, you'll just see a nurse who has a basic knowledge of nursing. You usually have to specifically request to see the LC. It's free while you're there. They'll probably say something like, "Oh, the nurse can help you." Politely request to see the LC anyway. :) Even if you think nursing is going great or you have no reason to suspect a problem, ask to see her. Professional help can't possibly hurt, and it ISN'T as simple as just sticking the baby on the boob, even if you don't have any supply problems. I asked every day was in the hospital. One day, they were too busy with day 1 moms, but I did get to see one the other 4 days. Pump in the hospital if you have the energy. First, you get to take home the pump parts you use (free!), so you don't have to buy them later. Even if you have a personal pump, if the hospital pump is the same brand, you can use the parts on your personal pump. And even if you rent a hospital grade pump, you have to buy the flanges and tubes and valves, so it's nice to get these things for free. If you have the space, even if you don't think you need them right away or at all, take them home and stick them in a closet and hang on to them until you're done nursing. Save yourself the money. But beyond that, pumping in the hospital just gives you the added time with that great resource for free. You can retrieve more colostrum (it was great the first time Matthew was sick--I pulled out a tube of his colostrum and gave it to him for the added antibodies) and it can encourage your milk to come in sooner. You can take home whatever you pump in the hospital. Breast milk keeps up to 8 days in the fridge and the hospital will refrigerate it for you. No sense in NOT pumping and bringing that milk home, if you have the energy, time, and physical comfort to squeeze in some sessions. Even if you never have any nursing issues, the freezer milk is nice to mix with baby's solids, to give you and DH a date out, to feed to baby in a bottle or cup if he's congested or his teeth are bothering him or he otherwise can't/won't suck. Take advantage of the free resource while you can!

17. Save your receipts! Check with your tax-preparer, but the woman who owns the store here that I mentioned said that under new legislation, breastfeeding supplies are now tax-deductible. If you have an FSA, you can rent/purchase your supplies with your FSA.

Ok, I think that's everything I can think of. I'm not an expert by any means, but those things have helped me in just under 2 weeks time. Several people have been offering to babysit DS so that DH and I could have a date. I haven't been able to take anyone up on it because of the supply issues--DS still eats every 2 hours (not really long enough for us to go anywhere if he eats at both the top and the bottom of the 2 hour window), and I had only 1 2.7oz tube left in the freezer that I wasn't willing to use except in an emergency, and I wasn't able to pump anything else. I now have about 9 precious ounces in the freezer and add a little more every day, plus I have enough to make Matthew's oatmeal with every day, too. A date with my DH might be in my future after all. :)

Adventures in Nursing

"Imagine yourself as a fountain of milk." Yep, that's what Dr. Sears suggests (among other things) as a method for improving breast pumping efficiency. I think he might know my Bradley teacher, who told me to imagine my cervix was a flower. No wonder I would fail Attachment Parenting 101. I have yet to master the art of the ridiculous metaphor. I mean seriously? But I digress... (Disclaimer: I actually have no problem with AP--it's not a philosophy we choose but I don't think it's bad or harmful so more power to those of you who choose it! But really? A fountain of milk?)

Let me back up. How did I get here?

Ah yes. Milk issues. Breast feeding advocates will often list off reasons why "breast is best," among them being, "It's free! All you need is a baby and a boob! Think of all the money you'll save by not buying formula!"

Ah, but as we all know, my body doesn't like to do anything properly. Nope. Nothing.

We had trouble getting Matthew to latch right in the hospital. When he was under the bili-lights and could only be out for 30 minutes at a time and we were spending over half of those fighting with him to latch, the lactation consultant in the hospital finally gave us a nipple shield to make it easier for him. At that time, it really was best, because he could spend all 30 minutes eating, instead of only 10 or 15.  We tried to break him of it when we got home, and couldn't. I waited a few weeks again, and couldn't. Lather, rinse, repeat. He's now 7 months old, and still using the darned thing. And for a while, it didn't matter. It wasn't affecting my supply, or the amount of milk he was getting. He was growing and thriving, I was producing well, everything was hunky dorey. Woohoo!

That all changed about a month ago. I started noticing that at his evening feeding in particular, he was super fussy. He would pull off and cry, then nurse, then cry, over and over and over again. It wasn't the normal evening fussiness for babies. After an hour of this, he'd still act like he was starving. At one feeding, I weighed him, fed him, and weighed him again and he'd only taken in half an ounce after being at both breasts for an extended amount of time. I would pump until I ached, and only produce about 1/2 an ounce total, even if it had been hours since baby ate. It was time to call in some help. I had tried to help myself by taking fenugreek and pumping more, but something wasn't working. (Edited to add clarification: the nipple shield is not the cause of my supply issues. It may have a slight adverse affect, but it's not the primary problem. We're trying to eliminate it now to remove all negative variables, even though the impact of this particular one is relatively small).

I talked to some nursing mommy friends. I called the hospital and talked to the LC there. I read a lot online. One thing I decided to do was rent a hospital-grade pump. These pumps are usually stronger and provide a smoother suck, more akin to a baby's suck. Through a chain of referrals, I ultimately ended up at a wonderful little store (Modern Mommy Boutique if you're in the Phoenix area), and the owner there really knows her stuff. She experienced supply issues with her own daughter and had to go to great lengths to fix them, so she had a lot of ideas for me. I tried a couple of different hospital grade pumps, and ended up with the Ameda Platinum. She also suggested that I take More Milk Special Blend. She immediately asked me if I had PCOS. I said yes, and she said that I needed to rebuild mammary tissue and suggested that in addition to fenugreek, I take other supplements, including Goat's Rue. The More Milk Special Blend specifically contains those ingredients. It's specifically formulated for PCOS. More information on PCOS and supply issues can be found here. So I now drink water like a camel, take the supplement 4 times a day, and pump as often as I can, usually 2-3 times per day.  And I have noticed a difference. Now I can pump anywhere from 2-4 ounces per day, depending on how often I pump. And that amount seems to be increasing every day. That's not a ton, but it's enough that I can mix that amount in with his oatmeal or fruits for his dinner feeding and make sure he's still getting as much of my milk as possible. He doesn't seem to struggle quite so much in the evenings with his feeds.

I'm also having a very recent problem with pain. Nursing shouldn't hurt. After your first few days, it almost always indicates something is wrong. Something with position, with the latch, with your body--something.

Today, I  went to a breastfeeding support group led by an LC. We're still trying to break Matthew of his plastic habit, and she suggested I try a different shield, that's sort of between the size and shape of the natural breast and the shape of the old shield, to see if that can sort of step him down back to the breast. We'll see. She also made some adjustments to my positioning.

So, for me, breastfeeding isn't free. It costs about $150/month in pump rental, supplements, tax, and various odds and ends that come up (but yay! As of this year, things to aid in breastfeeding are tax deductible!) It may cost more if I decide to go with a private LC consultation.

I did everything possible to maximize my chance of success at nursing. We took a great class together before Matthew was born. I have the support of a hubby who is on board with it. I watched videos and read about latching and positions. I talked with nursing mama friends. I eat galactagogue foods and drink a ton of water. I insisted on seeing the LC every day I was in the hospital.

And you know what? Sometimes, that's just not enough. Sometimes, nursing is just HARD. In earlier times when we lived with our mothers and sisters and cousins and friends, a woman was surrounded by tons of built-in help. Now, in our single-family-home culture, you have to seek out help, and even then, it's usually in small chunks of time.

Why am I writing all of this? I guess to assure you that if you struggle with it, THAT'S OK. More women than you know struggle with nursing. A lot of women decide they have exhausted all their options and stop nursing altogether. I thought I was at that point--I didn't WANT to stop but I thought I had run out of options. If you need help, or if it doesn't come naturally, that's ok! Don't get down on yourself about it. I struggle a little with my attitude about it--one more thing my body can't or won't do on its own for my baby. But I am thankful that so far, there seem to be remedies.

If you want to keep nursing, keep at it. Seek out help. You may have to get creative. Keep your spirits up and your patience long. If you have exhausted your patience or your will or your resources and you've reached the end of your nursing journey, that's ok, too! Thankfully, we live in a country with several great options of formula alternatives.

If you do seek out help, I guess, just take it with a grain of salt. There are some real breastfeeding nazis out there, which is honestly, the reason I didn't seek professional help sooner. I've been judged for my use of the shield.  I've been judged for preferring to nurse under a cover or in the privacy of a dressing room or even in my car while away from the home (one person called me a pervert who must secretly find breastfeeding to be dirty, and another said I must be ashamed of it. I assure you, neither are the case. For modesty's sake and for preserving what I believe to be private between my son and I, when I am around strangers, and/or men who are not related to me, I choose to cover up). For some people, breastfeeding is a cause. For me, I just wanted to be able to feed my son. So, as long as you can ignore or blow off the activists and militants, the help out there can be wonderful.  Your hospital where you delivered may offer free help. You may have a breastfeeding store near you like I do. There are tons of books and websites. You can find a support group. You can hire a private LC. You can hook up with the La Leche League if you're really brave.

And like I said, if you have gone as far down the journey as you are able or willing to go and end up closing the book, that's ok too. I am definitely NOT an activist and how you feed your child is none of my business. But if you ARE struggling and DO want to continue, just know you're not alone and you don't have to throw in the towel if you don't want to. There's nothing inherently wrong with you if it doesn't come as easy as the sing-songers say it should. Sometimes you DO need more than a baby and a boob, and that's ok. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Infertility makes it even tougher when something else goes wrong (pregnancy, birth, nursing, or in my case, all 3!) and part of me is like, "Seriously? I have to fight for THIS, too?" But it's also been a good reminder to me that that's what's in store for me as Matthew's mom. It's my job as a parent to fight for him to bring us to what we think is best for him. I had to fight to bring him out of the freezer and keep him safe in my body. I had to fight to deliver him, and now I'm fighting to feed him. It's HARD. But, it's my pain, my job, and my joy, all beautifully and inextricably interwoven together. I will encourage my IF friends, that the fighting now is a little easier. It's the same fight as before, but with a baby in arms, it's easier to see the forest for the trees. Easier to look down and see WHY you're fighting. Easier to look back on previous battles and go, "ah, now I see why." So if you're in the midst of a fight for your kids, either future kids or those already in your arms, be encouraged. You're doing something right! Every mom has to fight for her kids. We just get a little extra practice :)

If you ARE pregnant and plan to nurse, see if you can't find a breastfeeding class (ours was offered through the hospital). I learned a TON. And beyond the practicality, it's just plain COOL. The way God designed it is really amazing and incredible. Both DH and I were enthralled at the sheer intricacy of all the details.

Anyway, that's my PSA for the day, and one of the posts I referred to last week in my previous post. I've been working on this for days, but my aggressive pursuit of these things this week delayed me.

And in Matthew news, we finally have our first tooth. It poked through on Friday (8/26) during naptime. It's a bittersweet time for this mama, who already misses his gummy little smile. It's also made all these nursing issues super fun ;)

And on another note, I'm so glad I've been keeping this blog because I hadn't been recording the dates he learned to do things or developed new things. I had to fill out an update for Nightlight last week and it was nice to have this to go back and refer to when they asked me things about when certain things occurred. I also used it to finally fill in my baby calendar. So, if I include dates on things from now on, it's not that I think you're all so intricately hung up on the details of Matthew's life--it's so I can retrieve them later!

Anyway, toodaloo!