I love this time in Matthew's life where he's still learning language. Here are some of my favorite "Matthewisms."
"Are you okay?" He says this if he gets hurt or does something that presumably could have hurt him (fall down, run into something, etc). He walks around and asks everyone in the vicinity, "Are you okay?" So sweet.
"Noonles" -Noodles
"Chicken" - "Kitchen." It's really cute to hear him tell me he is playing in his chicken.
"Easies"- Earrings. My mother in law likes to wear earrings so she has some in 99% of the time she sees him. Especially when Matthew was younger, he wanted to touch and handle them. She'd let him, but, trying to encourage him to be gentle, she'd say "easy" while he was doing it. He now thinks they're called "easies."
"Fishy Pants"-His swim trunks that have fish on them
"Hopter" - Helicopter
"Red bed" -the sheets on our bed are red, so he'll say "Mashu and mommy in the red bed?" when he wants to go in there and snuggle or jump on the bed
"Nuke" =Milk
"You want" and "Are you??"- He says things this way to refer to himself, presumably from hearing me ask him "are you..." or whatever. "You want nuke?" = "I want some milk." "Are you stinky?" = "My diaper is dirty." It's really funny though when he comes and says, "Mommy, are you stinky?"
"Mommy, are you talking to a beaver?" -He said this to me yesterday morning. I have no idea what it means and I didn't even know he knew what a beaver is (not something we see in Arizona), but it was too funny not to share.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
When your child is THAT kid
Do you ever have one of those days? Those days where you don't recognize your own child? When you want to sink into the floor where you're standing or the chair where you're sitting? Where you're SURE everyone around is judging you for being a terrible parent because you belong to THAT child?
I had one of those weeks. Matthew has just been OFF and I've been struggling. Struggling with his attitude. Struggling with what other people must think of him and of me. Struggling that he's not learning as quickly as I'd like him to. Struggling when he displays his little sinful nature for all the world to see. Struggling with my own attitude when it happens.
A friend once told me that the half of any given age is harder than the whole. I agree. 2 was a piece of cake compared to 2 and a half.
Matthew has just been ornery. Just one example is that he landed in time out two or three separate times during one 30 minute swimming class because he just flat out decided not to obey his teacher and she had given him enough grace and was done. He fully deserved it and I was embarrassed. What parent doesn't like to see their child exceed and impress?
Couple that with the fact that he genuinely struggles with the course material, so we beat our heads in a brick wall and I just felt like a flop.
We've all had those moments, and we'll all have them again. It's life. So what can we do when we hit these moments? I have only been a parent for a few years so I can't say I have this all figured out. But this has been what has been helping me this week.
Pray
Pray for God to give you patience with your child and with yourself. Pray for God to open your eyes to new ways to instruct your child. Pray for grace for other parties involved who might be experiencing frustration with your child. Speak prayers of gratitude for them too. Pray for your child, that his heart would continue to be molded into one that wants the Lord, one that wants to obey God-given instruction in his life. Pray for creativity and discernment as you and your child tackle this journey together. Pray for strength and encouragement when you are weary. Speak prayers of gratitude and praise and wonderment to God for this little child who has been entrusted to you. Praying changes your focus, I promise.
Speak Scripture
Speak scripture to your child, and to yourself. Scripture is rich with wisdom. As my friend Diana points out, the Bible is the best parenting book you will ever read so glean from it and use it to teach your child. I find myself telling Matthew, "A cheerful heart is good medicine." And when I say it to him, it echoes in my own ears, too, and I check MY heart and its response to said exasperating situations. I'm reading through this book, and it's a wonderful resource.
Realize your child's limitations
Are there extenuating factors that are exacerbating your child's attitude? Is she overtired? Hungry? Overstimulated? Cold? Wet? Unable to communicate? While I believe an important lesson in childhood is to learn to function even under these circumstances, children ARE still learning this lesson. While it's appropriate to push them a little and help expand their capacities, we need to stop short of setting them up for failure and allow extra grace when there are circumstances beyond their control that are contributing to the problem. Matthew is going to swimming lessons 4 days a week. He's had a few late nights visiting with out of town family we only get to see once or twice a year. He's exhausted. We made the decision to prioritize that extra family time (or whatever) above getting to bed on time, but that means we have to be willing to accept the consequences, which include in our case, a crabby little dude, who generally requires a LOT of sleep. It's fine to break or bend the rules every now and then (for are we under the Law? No!), but make sure grace for your child accompanies that decision. It may also be true that your child has reached his maximum ability for a certain task or skill at the moment. Even if that is short of accurate execution, that's ok. Realize his limits.
Realize that you are not a bad parent
Do you love your child? Do you love the God who made him? Are his needs for food and shelter and clothing and medical care met as much as lies in your power? Is he safe in your home? If you're even evaluating your aptitude as a parent, then it's pretty safe to say you're not a bad parent. I think we're particularly bad at this as Americans, because we have the luxury to play these games with each other and with ourselves. A little perspective helps my attitude a lot. Stop with the mommy guilt and the mommy wars. Relax. We've all had bad days. All of our kids have had bad days. If anyone is judging you, then she is either not a parent, is a parent of a child too young to misbehave, or she is seriously delusional about how perfect her own child is. Most of us are so harried keeping our own kids in line while simultaneously maintaining our sanity, that we don't have time to think about judging you.
Realize it's ok for your child to fail
And along the same lines, it's ok for your child to not be the favorite, or the best at something, or the most likeable, or whatever other superlative you've conjured in your head as a worthwhile goal. This is hard to break free of especially if your child usually is that kid. There's nothing wrong with being that kid, if you keep it in perspective. But that pressure isn't fair to you, your child, the other children involved, or any other adults involved. Learning to struggle, learning to fail, learning to be humble, learning to resolve conflict, learning to deal with being unliked, learning your own limits and capacities for something, learning to lose graciously, learning to be disciplined and corrected are all as important or more important than whatever skill or situation your child is currently attempting. Don't rescue your child from the chance to learn these lessons. Remembering the bigger picture helps makes the momentary embarrassment or frustration a little easier to bear.
Realize that this will soon be a distant memory, and that persistence will pay off
It took 20 lessons, countless hours of practice outside of class, numerous timeouts, some creativity, some tears, some frustration, but our hard work paid off and Matthew graduated the first level of swimming class. I think this is true in life.
Scripture tells us, "...We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4) Take heart that God is shaping your heart, and your child's heart, through this time.
I had one of those weeks. Matthew has just been OFF and I've been struggling. Struggling with his attitude. Struggling with what other people must think of him and of me. Struggling that he's not learning as quickly as I'd like him to. Struggling when he displays his little sinful nature for all the world to see. Struggling with my own attitude when it happens.
A friend once told me that the half of any given age is harder than the whole. I agree. 2 was a piece of cake compared to 2 and a half.
Matthew has just been ornery. Just one example is that he landed in time out two or three separate times during one 30 minute swimming class because he just flat out decided not to obey his teacher and she had given him enough grace and was done. He fully deserved it and I was embarrassed. What parent doesn't like to see their child exceed and impress?
Couple that with the fact that he genuinely struggles with the course material, so we beat our heads in a brick wall and I just felt like a flop.
We've all had those moments, and we'll all have them again. It's life. So what can we do when we hit these moments? I have only been a parent for a few years so I can't say I have this all figured out. But this has been what has been helping me this week.
Pray
Pray for God to give you patience with your child and with yourself. Pray for God to open your eyes to new ways to instruct your child. Pray for grace for other parties involved who might be experiencing frustration with your child. Speak prayers of gratitude for them too. Pray for your child, that his heart would continue to be molded into one that wants the Lord, one that wants to obey God-given instruction in his life. Pray for creativity and discernment as you and your child tackle this journey together. Pray for strength and encouragement when you are weary. Speak prayers of gratitude and praise and wonderment to God for this little child who has been entrusted to you. Praying changes your focus, I promise.
Speak Scripture
Speak scripture to your child, and to yourself. Scripture is rich with wisdom. As my friend Diana points out, the Bible is the best parenting book you will ever read so glean from it and use it to teach your child. I find myself telling Matthew, "A cheerful heart is good medicine." And when I say it to him, it echoes in my own ears, too, and I check MY heart and its response to said exasperating situations. I'm reading through this book, and it's a wonderful resource.
Realize your child's limitations
Are there extenuating factors that are exacerbating your child's attitude? Is she overtired? Hungry? Overstimulated? Cold? Wet? Unable to communicate? While I believe an important lesson in childhood is to learn to function even under these circumstances, children ARE still learning this lesson. While it's appropriate to push them a little and help expand their capacities, we need to stop short of setting them up for failure and allow extra grace when there are circumstances beyond their control that are contributing to the problem. Matthew is going to swimming lessons 4 days a week. He's had a few late nights visiting with out of town family we only get to see once or twice a year. He's exhausted. We made the decision to prioritize that extra family time (or whatever) above getting to bed on time, but that means we have to be willing to accept the consequences, which include in our case, a crabby little dude, who generally requires a LOT of sleep. It's fine to break or bend the rules every now and then (for are we under the Law? No!), but make sure grace for your child accompanies that decision. It may also be true that your child has reached his maximum ability for a certain task or skill at the moment. Even if that is short of accurate execution, that's ok. Realize his limits.
Realize that you are not a bad parent
Do you love your child? Do you love the God who made him? Are his needs for food and shelter and clothing and medical care met as much as lies in your power? Is he safe in your home? If you're even evaluating your aptitude as a parent, then it's pretty safe to say you're not a bad parent. I think we're particularly bad at this as Americans, because we have the luxury to play these games with each other and with ourselves. A little perspective helps my attitude a lot. Stop with the mommy guilt and the mommy wars. Relax. We've all had bad days. All of our kids have had bad days. If anyone is judging you, then she is either not a parent, is a parent of a child too young to misbehave, or she is seriously delusional about how perfect her own child is. Most of us are so harried keeping our own kids in line while simultaneously maintaining our sanity, that we don't have time to think about judging you.
Realize it's ok for your child to fail
And along the same lines, it's ok for your child to not be the favorite, or the best at something, or the most likeable, or whatever other superlative you've conjured in your head as a worthwhile goal. This is hard to break free of especially if your child usually is that kid. There's nothing wrong with being that kid, if you keep it in perspective. But that pressure isn't fair to you, your child, the other children involved, or any other adults involved. Learning to struggle, learning to fail, learning to be humble, learning to resolve conflict, learning to deal with being unliked, learning your own limits and capacities for something, learning to lose graciously, learning to be disciplined and corrected are all as important or more important than whatever skill or situation your child is currently attempting. Don't rescue your child from the chance to learn these lessons. Remembering the bigger picture helps makes the momentary embarrassment or frustration a little easier to bear.
Realize that this will soon be a distant memory, and that persistence will pay off
It took 20 lessons, countless hours of practice outside of class, numerous timeouts, some creativity, some tears, some frustration, but our hard work paid off and Matthew graduated the first level of swimming class. I think this is true in life.
Scripture tells us, "...We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4) Take heart that God is shaping your heart, and your child's heart, through this time.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Free Shutterfly Book
Well that was fast. I posted just last night about creative ways to take advantage of free photo book offers.
Shutterfly posted an offer today on their facebook page. New customers can score a free photo book. Just click here (you may have to "like" Shutterfly) and then click the "Get Your Code" button. Shipping is $7 or $8--about the price of a regular kid's book.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I get no incentive for this post or the one before it. I just like passing on good deals!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Photobooks
I'm a big fan of Shutterfly photo books. I made one for our pregnancy and one for Matthew's first 6 months of life. I made our adoption book as one and then when I wanted to send a copy to the Genetic Family, it was easy enough to go into my history and order another. I love that it saves my projects so I can go back to them at any time.
But I've also made a couple of less conventional books (ie non-Scrapbooks).
I made the first one when Matthew was starting to learn that pictures were of real people and things. Quite a lot of our family is long distance so I made him a book of "his people" so that he could learn the names and relationships of our family members even though he doesn't see many of them more than a few times a year. I made an 8x8 20 page book and each page has one member of our family on it. I just called it "Matthew's Favorite People." It's so fun for him to flip through it and it really has helped him remember family members between visits.
I kept it really simple-just a large photo or two of each person that clearly showed his or her face, and his or her name printed in big, plain text. Here are the first two pages:
Then I made him a book called "Matthew's Favorite Things" and I chose an ABC Theme. Shutterfly made it easy because there are "stickers" in their book process that you can choose to put on each page, and they had a few ABC sets.
I was pretty tickled with how it came out. I made it more than a year ago and he still loves to look through it. I may do another when he gets older of some of his new obsessions.
You can see the book here or if I am doing this right, right here:
Here is my ABC List:
A: Airplanes
B: Bible, Books, Ball
C: Cat, Colors, Crayons
D: Daddy, Dog
E: Elephant
F: Frog, Flowers, Friends
G: Grandmas, Grandpas, Gears, Giraffes
H: Hugs
I: I Love You
J: Jesus
K: Kiss
L: Lion
M: Mommy, Matthew
N: Night night
O: Outside
P: Pineapple
Q: Quack (I totally cheated here)
R: Rocks
S: Scout, Strawberries
T: Truck
U: Us
V: Veggie Tales
W: Water
X: X (he LOVED to say the X when he was first learning his alphabet)
Y: Yellow
Z: Zoo, Zebra
You can easily enough do these same things with pictures and paper or traditional photo albums. The best thing about these two books? I only paid $8 shipping. Shutterfly runs specials ALL THE TIME for free photo books and all you pay is shipping. I also regularly see them and various other photo printing sites on Groupon and other similar daily deals sites. So if you wanted to do this, you could do it really inexpensively. You could even create the book now and save it in your account until you see a free offer.
If you do create something, I'd love to see it! Have fun :)
But I've also made a couple of less conventional books (ie non-Scrapbooks).
I made the first one when Matthew was starting to learn that pictures were of real people and things. Quite a lot of our family is long distance so I made him a book of "his people" so that he could learn the names and relationships of our family members even though he doesn't see many of them more than a few times a year. I made an 8x8 20 page book and each page has one member of our family on it. I just called it "Matthew's Favorite People." It's so fun for him to flip through it and it really has helped him remember family members between visits.
I kept it really simple-just a large photo or two of each person that clearly showed his or her face, and his or her name printed in big, plain text. Here are the first two pages:
Then I made him a book called "Matthew's Favorite Things" and I chose an ABC Theme. Shutterfly made it easy because there are "stickers" in their book process that you can choose to put on each page, and they had a few ABC sets.
I was pretty tickled with how it came out. I made it more than a year ago and he still loves to look through it. I may do another when he gets older of some of his new obsessions.
You can see the book here or if I am doing this right, right here:
Here is my ABC List:
A: Airplanes
B: Bible, Books, Ball
C: Cat, Colors, Crayons
D: Daddy, Dog
E: Elephant
F: Frog, Flowers, Friends
G: Grandmas, Grandpas, Gears, Giraffes
H: Hugs
I: I Love You
J: Jesus
K: Kiss
L: Lion
M: Mommy, Matthew
N: Night night
O: Outside
P: Pineapple
Q: Quack (I totally cheated here)
R: Rocks
S: Scout, Strawberries
T: Truck
U: Us
V: Veggie Tales
W: Water
X: X (he LOVED to say the X when he was first learning his alphabet)
Y: Yellow
Z: Zoo, Zebra
You can easily enough do these same things with pictures and paper or traditional photo albums. The best thing about these two books? I only paid $8 shipping. Shutterfly runs specials ALL THE TIME for free photo books and all you pay is shipping. I also regularly see them and various other photo printing sites on Groupon and other similar daily deals sites. So if you wanted to do this, you could do it really inexpensively. You could even create the book now and save it in your account until you see a free offer.
If you do create something, I'd love to see it! Have fun :)
Friday, July 12, 2013
Toddler Songs
I think if I were to have to narrow it down, I think the thing that gives Matthew the most pleasure in life is music. Mommy and Daddy and books might be tied, but it's definitely in his top 3. He loves to sing it, listen to it, dance to it, watch it, experience it...anyway he can get it. So, we sing...a lot. We sing about everything. We sing praises, we sing about what we're doing, we sing about what we just did, we sing about our friends...whatever. If I can say it with a tune, I do. I throw in lots of "doo dahs" and "oh doo dah days" between my stentences. If a song about whatever it is already exists, even better.
So I thought it would be fun to share some of our favorite songs and I hope you'll chime in (pun intended!) and do the same! We sing a lot of songs everyone knows like "Jesus Loves Me" and "You are My Sunshine" but these are some that are less common. I would love to learn some of yours.
I taught VBS recently and sung this song with the kids a lot and was asked for it by some adults. I have no idea what the original source was. I learned it when I was teaching preschool about 15 years ago. I tweaked it a bit to be about God's rainbow but for the most part, it's not mine.
The Colors Song
Tune: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Red and Orange and Green and Blue
Pink and Purple, Yellow too
All the colors that we know
Way up in God's bright rainbow
Red and Orange and Green and Blue
Pink and Purple, Yellow too
I made this one up for my little dude because he's not really a little teapot. Warning: a composer, I am not.
I'm a Little Dino
Tune: I'm a little teapot
I'm a little dino, short and stout,
Here is my tail and here is my snout
When I get excited hear me ROAR
Stomp around and then ROAR some more
We learned these songs at Gymboree Play and Music. I have no idea if they "wrote" them or not.
Pop Pop Pop
Tune: One Little, Two Little, Three Little Indians
One little, two little, three little bubbles
Four little, five little, six little bubbles,
Seven little, eight little, nine little bubbles,
Ten little bubbles go Pop Pop Pop!
Bubbles Song
Tune: Be Careful Little Eyes What You See
There are bubbles in the air, in the air
There are bubbles in the air, in the air
There are bubbles in the air, there are bubbles everywhere,
There are bubbles in the air, in the air
There are bubbles way up high, way up high
There are bubbles way up high, way up high
There are bubbles way up high, there are bubbles in the sky
There are bubbles way up high, way up high
Can you catch a little bubble with your hand?
Can you catch a little bubble with your hand?
Can you catch a little bubble?
It won't be any trouble
Can you catch a little bubble with your hand?
Our favorite "real" music:
Veggie Tales Sunday School Songs
The Wiggles Yummy Yummy CD
The Colossal Coaster album I referenced yesterday
Absolute Modern Worship for Kids
Rockin Robin by Bobby Day
Splish Splash by Bobby Darin
Supercalifragilistic... from Mary Poppins
Jump! by Amber Sky Records (another VBS music song--REALLY fun for kids, hear it here)
Do-Re-Mi from Sound of Music
His Cheeseburger by Veggie Tales
At the suggestion of Ashley, we're trying out Steve Green's Hide Em in Your Heart. It just arrived, so I don't have a review or endorsement yet. I am also on the prowl for Psalty CDs.
So, what are your favorites? Made up songs, or "real" songs. Let's expand our repertoires!
So I thought it would be fun to share some of our favorite songs and I hope you'll chime in (pun intended!) and do the same! We sing a lot of songs everyone knows like "Jesus Loves Me" and "You are My Sunshine" but these are some that are less common. I would love to learn some of yours.
I taught VBS recently and sung this song with the kids a lot and was asked for it by some adults. I have no idea what the original source was. I learned it when I was teaching preschool about 15 years ago. I tweaked it a bit to be about God's rainbow but for the most part, it's not mine.
The Colors Song
Tune: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Red and Orange and Green and Blue
Pink and Purple, Yellow too
All the colors that we know
Way up in God's bright rainbow
Red and Orange and Green and Blue
Pink and Purple, Yellow too
I made this one up for my little dude because he's not really a little teapot. Warning: a composer, I am not.
I'm a Little Dino
Tune: I'm a little teapot
I'm a little dino, short and stout,
Here is my tail and here is my snout
When I get excited hear me ROAR
Stomp around and then ROAR some more
His full name (first, two middle names, last) is within 1 syllable of "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" and people good naturedly sass us about his name length, so we sing that to him, too with this revision
[Name],
Your name is very long
Whenever we go out,
your friends are gonna shout
There goes
[Name]
We learned these songs at Gymboree Play and Music. I have no idea if they "wrote" them or not.
Pop Pop Pop
Tune: One Little, Two Little, Three Little Indians
One little, two little, three little bubbles
Four little, five little, six little bubbles,
Seven little, eight little, nine little bubbles,
Ten little bubbles go Pop Pop Pop!
Bubbles Song
Tune: Be Careful Little Eyes What You See
There are bubbles in the air, in the air
There are bubbles in the air, in the air
There are bubbles in the air, there are bubbles everywhere,
There are bubbles in the air, in the air
There are bubbles way up high, way up high
There are bubbles way up high, way up high
There are bubbles way up high, there are bubbles in the sky
There are bubbles way up high, way up high
Can you catch a little bubble with your hand?
Can you catch a little bubble with your hand?
Can you catch a little bubble?
It won't be any trouble
Can you catch a little bubble with your hand?
Our favorite "real" music:
Veggie Tales Sunday School Songs
The Wiggles Yummy Yummy CD
The Colossal Coaster album I referenced yesterday
Absolute Modern Worship for Kids
Rockin Robin by Bobby Day
Splish Splash by Bobby Darin
Supercalifragilistic... from Mary Poppins
Jump! by Amber Sky Records (another VBS music song--REALLY fun for kids, hear it here)
Do-Re-Mi from Sound of Music
His Cheeseburger by Veggie Tales
At the suggestion of Ashley, we're trying out Steve Green's Hide Em in Your Heart. It just arrived, so I don't have a review or endorsement yet. I am also on the prowl for Psalty CDs.
So, what are your favorites? Made up songs, or "real" songs. Let's expand our repertoires!
Culture of Life Language
I pay a lot of attention to the language about life. Perhaps it's because I worked professionally in the pro-life field for 5 years. Or perhaps it's because of the very early stage of life my children are in when they join my family. Or it might be due to that little rant I went on in my high school classroom against the wishy-washy man running for the State Assembly that got me "gag ordered" for the rest of class and a candidate and an aide who wouldn't look me in the eye as they scurried out. Whatever the reason, it's an issue I'm highly sensitive to.
Pro-life wars are fought and won or lost over language, much of the time. Petitions, legislation, and arguments have exceptionally nuanced language that either excuse or defend any number of actions on behalf of or in assault of innocent human life. In that spirit, I present a few phrases that I hear tossed around often, and I want to issue a challenge to reevaluate our use of these phrases.
"Soon to be mom/dad/child" I hear this type of language all the time when referring to a couple who is expecting but has not yet given birth. If we believe the unborn child IS an unborn child, then you are already a parent. That child is already your son or daughter. The way you have lovingly taken care of that child and your body (or your wife's body) throughout the pregnancy IS the act of parenting. The way you wait and pray and cheer on a birth mom after you sign those adoption papers IS parenting. Your job changes when the baby is born, but you are a parent now. Parenthood doesn't begin when the child is born. It begins when that child's life begins some 9 months earlier.
"Life begins at conception" Are you reading that and saying, "wait, WHAT? I thought life DID start at conception." This is a mistake that I even see pro-life organizations making on a regular basis. If, when you say this, you mean that life begins when the sperm meets the egg, you are correct. However, something we learned through all our transfers is that in the scientific and medical communities, "conception" means a fertilized egg that has successfully implanted. So by saying "life begins at conception," you're excluding the first 2 ish weeks of life. Now, this subtle difference doesn't mean anything to the average person on the street and they certainly know what you mean when you say it. But lawmakers, politicians, scientists, and doctors know exactly what they're saying when they use this language and laws, policies, and contracts are written accordingly. If you believe that life begins when the sperm pierces the egg, then life begins at fertilization.
"Give the embryo a chance at life" I actually hear this one a lot from embryo adoption parents and advocates. We believe that those tiny little ones are human beings and we believe they deserve the opportunity to grow. The problem with this language though is if we believe this, then those embryos already have a life. That life is suspended, but if we believe they're human beings, they already have life. Again, the average person knows what you mean, but if we want our words to really reflect what we believe about these babies, may I suggest "give them a chance to be born" or "a chance to continue living" or "a chance to grow."
What are your thoughts? Are there other phrases like this that you think we need to evaluate in our effort to build a culture of life?
Pro-life wars are fought and won or lost over language, much of the time. Petitions, legislation, and arguments have exceptionally nuanced language that either excuse or defend any number of actions on behalf of or in assault of innocent human life. In that spirit, I present a few phrases that I hear tossed around often, and I want to issue a challenge to reevaluate our use of these phrases.
"Soon to be mom/dad/child" I hear this type of language all the time when referring to a couple who is expecting but has not yet given birth. If we believe the unborn child IS an unborn child, then you are already a parent. That child is already your son or daughter. The way you have lovingly taken care of that child and your body (or your wife's body) throughout the pregnancy IS the act of parenting. The way you wait and pray and cheer on a birth mom after you sign those adoption papers IS parenting. Your job changes when the baby is born, but you are a parent now. Parenthood doesn't begin when the child is born. It begins when that child's life begins some 9 months earlier.
"Life begins at conception" Are you reading that and saying, "wait, WHAT? I thought life DID start at conception." This is a mistake that I even see pro-life organizations making on a regular basis. If, when you say this, you mean that life begins when the sperm meets the egg, you are correct. However, something we learned through all our transfers is that in the scientific and medical communities, "conception" means a fertilized egg that has successfully implanted. So by saying "life begins at conception," you're excluding the first 2 ish weeks of life. Now, this subtle difference doesn't mean anything to the average person on the street and they certainly know what you mean when you say it. But lawmakers, politicians, scientists, and doctors know exactly what they're saying when they use this language and laws, policies, and contracts are written accordingly. If you believe that life begins when the sperm pierces the egg, then life begins at fertilization.
"Give the embryo a chance at life" I actually hear this one a lot from embryo adoption parents and advocates. We believe that those tiny little ones are human beings and we believe they deserve the opportunity to grow. The problem with this language though is if we believe this, then those embryos already have a life. That life is suspended, but if we believe they're human beings, they already have life. Again, the average person knows what you mean, but if we want our words to really reflect what we believe about these babies, may I suggest "give them a chance to be born" or "a chance to continue living" or "a chance to grow."
What are your thoughts? Are there other phrases like this that you think we need to evaluate in our effort to build a culture of life?
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Under Construction
I'm working on doing some refreshing of my look so if this blog changes on you eleventy times in the next few days, that's why! It's time for a new look! Stay tuned!
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