Friday, March 28, 2008
We have a date!
Our Caseworker called today to schedule our first homestudy meeting. It's set for April 25th, so just under a month from now. I'm trying not to be too anxious about it but fortunately, I have much to keep me busy between now and then!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Hurry Up and Wait
I heard from our Caseworker today. She wasn't in on Friday when I dropped our packet off (actually no one was) so she wrote today to confirm she did receive it and it survived the weekend on the floor under the mail slot. She said it typically takes her supervisor 1 to 2 weeks to review the packet and then the supervisor passes it on to her. Unfortunately, our caseworker will be off for 2 weeks so she won't be there when the supervisor is done. So she returns on April 14th and will call us sometime that week to set up the first appointment. So we have a lot of hurry up and wait. I'm a little disappointed but I'm trying to be firm in my faith that any accelerations OR delays are to make sure we and our children are all ready for each other at the right time so I'm trying to appreciate this wait time.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Done, done, done!
We've finished our packet! We have everything signed, dated, put in order and separated in to various envelopes. The checks are written and the necessary documentation for various things are attached. All 4 lengthy personality tests are done (which I forgot completely about when writing yesterday's post!) and all the personal questions are answered and we've proofread it 3 times! All that's left to do is stop at Staples to copy everything and then I'll deliver it to the office tomorrow! It's such a sense of satisfaction to have it done! I'm not sure if I'll sleep really well knowing we've completed another milestone, or if I'll be up all night with excitement! Either way, you're probably all sleeping soundly, and I'm off to attempt to join you in never-never land! Night!
Glenna asked if this is like a traditional homestudy and adoption process and how it differs from traditional adoption. Functionally, they are identical. We take the exact same adoption education classes as traditional adoptive parents, and actually, all of our classmates will be there for traditional adoption purposes. We undergo the exact same homestudy process that this Agency administers to traditional prospective adopters, with the exception of a few forms about our preferences about the child (race, age, gender, characteristics, needs, etc) since those things don't exist and/or aren't known at the embryonic stage. Our court certification will be exactly the same and actually, that will certify as legally eligible to adopt for any kind of adoption so we could in effect take that completed homestudy and do a traditional adoption.
The only thing that is different is the government's legal classification of the actual transfer of the Embryo. The government does not view this as an adoption because it does not grant personhood to preborn children, and things cannot be adopted. So we don't get the nifty tax credit, and we don't have to do any post-placement court hearings, termination of rights, waiting periods, finalizations, etc, or anything like that but until the point of the actual transfer, this is exactly like a traditional adoption. The only difference in that regard is that the Homestudy and Court Certification are an Agency requirement (by Nightlight, our placement agency), and not a legal requirement (again because of the way Embryos are legally classified).
Good question! I hope I did a sufficient job of answering it!
Glenna asked if this is like a traditional homestudy and adoption process and how it differs from traditional adoption. Functionally, they are identical. We take the exact same adoption education classes as traditional adoptive parents, and actually, all of our classmates will be there for traditional adoption purposes. We undergo the exact same homestudy process that this Agency administers to traditional prospective adopters, with the exception of a few forms about our preferences about the child (race, age, gender, characteristics, needs, etc) since those things don't exist and/or aren't known at the embryonic stage. Our court certification will be exactly the same and actually, that will certify as legally eligible to adopt for any kind of adoption so we could in effect take that completed homestudy and do a traditional adoption.
The only thing that is different is the government's legal classification of the actual transfer of the Embryo. The government does not view this as an adoption because it does not grant personhood to preborn children, and things cannot be adopted. So we don't get the nifty tax credit, and we don't have to do any post-placement court hearings, termination of rights, waiting periods, finalizations, etc, or anything like that but until the point of the actual transfer, this is exactly like a traditional adoption. The only difference in that regard is that the Homestudy and Court Certification are an Agency requirement (by Nightlight, our placement agency), and not a legal requirement (again because of the way Embryos are legally classified).
Good question! I hope I did a sufficient job of answering it!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The End is in Sight!
DH brought home the packet and had a lot of his part done. I finished my part and we finished the rest of the joint questions tonight. He has about a dozen fairly short questions left, which he'll work on tomorrow night. I've already finished the general forms. Then we'll read the whole thing together and hopefully I can drive it up and turn it in on Friday! Woohoo!
As soon as we turn it in, they review it and we start the homestudy. So I guess we could say "The Beginning is in Sight!"
As soon as we turn it in, they review it and we start the homestudy. So I guess we could say "The Beginning is in Sight!"
Monday, March 17, 2008
OB Visit
I went back to my OB today. It was scheduled to be a follow up to my ultrasound, but since they already told me the results over the phone, that was kind of resolved.
I took the opportunity to tell our OB about our EA plans, and I was hesitant because he is Catholic. The Catholic Church seems to be pretty split on the whole notion of EA because of their objections to the procedure that produces the embryos in the first place (IVF) and at our last meeting, we detected some negativity. We had had a bad few visits in a row and we were praying that things would either shape up or that we'd have success in finding a new OB with whom we felt comfortable.
Today the visit was awesome. It was just like all the visits we'd had before the last few, which made us love treating with him to begin with. He was very enthusiastic and supportive and is perfectly willing to work with a pregnancy after receiving clearance from the clinic. So, I'm excited and thankful.
No updates on the packet--been crazy busy with work. We're still hoping to finish it this weekend. My best friend is on Spring Break so I've been trying to spend a lot of time with her so I've done that in my free time instead of the packet. Hopefully when DH gets home tomorrow he'll have some of his part done and then we can work on the last joint sections together.
Hope you all are well!
I took the opportunity to tell our OB about our EA plans, and I was hesitant because he is Catholic. The Catholic Church seems to be pretty split on the whole notion of EA because of their objections to the procedure that produces the embryos in the first place (IVF) and at our last meeting, we detected some negativity. We had had a bad few visits in a row and we were praying that things would either shape up or that we'd have success in finding a new OB with whom we felt comfortable.
Today the visit was awesome. It was just like all the visits we'd had before the last few, which made us love treating with him to begin with. He was very enthusiastic and supportive and is perfectly willing to work with a pregnancy after receiving clearance from the clinic. So, I'm excited and thankful.
No updates on the packet--been crazy busy with work. We're still hoping to finish it this weekend. My best friend is on Spring Break so I've been trying to spend a lot of time with her so I've done that in my free time instead of the packet. Hopefully when DH gets home tomorrow he'll have some of his part done and then we can work on the last joint sections together.
Hope you all are well!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Packet Update
I promise, I DIDN'T set down to take on the packet as a challenge! I sat down to read it last night and we have a digital version of it so I pulled it up on DH's laptop, figuring I'd read it before drifting off to sleep. As I was reading through it I thought, "hey, that's an easy question, I'll just answer it now." Then I thought "well this one's only asking for our names and addresses--I can do that no problem." This went on and on until I had completed about 1/4 of the packet without even realizing it or setting out to do it. There are quite a few pages that don't apply to us because we don't have drugs/alcohol history, criminal history, other children or previous marriages, so there are whole pages of questions that we can skip. DH is taking his portion on his business trip but I think we can finish everything in the next week. I don't know what I was so worried about. I think the personality tests (180 questions and we each take it twice) will take longer than anything!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Caseworker Meeting Report
Our case worker meeting is finished! I was surprised that I slept so well last night because normally this kind of important meeting leaves me with fitful sleep the night before but I managed to sleep well. I thought we were both doing well until we managed to forget DH's cell phone at the adoption agency and my day planner at the finger print agency! Guess we were subconsciously a little more preoccupied or stressed than I thought we were!
The meeting went well. It was a few hours long and consisted mainly of more interview questions of us about who we are, our personal testimonies, why we want to adopt, what we have to offer a child, etc, etc, etc. We are very thankful that the caseworker seems to have no biases or prejudices for or against any one form of adoption, so we detected no hint of displeasure at our choice for EA, which we were afraid of encountering.
She did give us our big packet and reviewed it briefly but I haven't really had a chance to look at it yet. Between the meeting this morning, going back to fetch the phone (we of course had to get all the way home before we discovered its absence!), then going to get fingerprinted, having lunch and then going back for my day planner, I'm really just getting home and I'll have a chance to review the documents. But from what I can tell basically what is entailed is 30 pages of detailed questions about us, various beliefs we hold about parenting, our faith stories, etc. We also have to take a personality test for ourselves and then answer it again for each other. We also have to pass a CPS check, a criminal background check and our fingerprints have to check out. We have to get physicals and submit 6 references. Once all the paperwork is turned in, we have our first of 4 remaining meetings with her. The meetings are 2 weeks apart, and the last one is the visit to the home. We were thankful to find out that the only thing we need to do is fence the pool and lock up DH's guns. We'll eventually want to do other babyproofing too but it's nice that we don't have to expend time and funds on it now, so far in advance. So, we really could be done with our part of things in the next 12-14 weeks! Once our caseworker submits things, it takes the court 3-6 weeks to approve things. Assuming they do, we would then be certified to adopt and could transfer our info to Nightlight to being the waiting process for matching.
It's so nice to feel like we really have a handle on what exactly is expected of us and what we can hope to expect for the immediate future. I am surprised at how much I must have been stressing about this because just like our meeting with the doctor last week, I came away from it utterly and completely exhausted. Adrenaline is a powerful fuel source!
I'm excited to tackle a lot of this paperwork, especially because DH will be away on business so I'll have lots of extra hours alone. Thank you for your prayers. We think that this will be a really good fit and we're looking forward to working with her.
The meeting went well. It was a few hours long and consisted mainly of more interview questions of us about who we are, our personal testimonies, why we want to adopt, what we have to offer a child, etc, etc, etc. We are very thankful that the caseworker seems to have no biases or prejudices for or against any one form of adoption, so we detected no hint of displeasure at our choice for EA, which we were afraid of encountering.
She did give us our big packet and reviewed it briefly but I haven't really had a chance to look at it yet. Between the meeting this morning, going back to fetch the phone (we of course had to get all the way home before we discovered its absence!), then going to get fingerprinted, having lunch and then going back for my day planner, I'm really just getting home and I'll have a chance to review the documents. But from what I can tell basically what is entailed is 30 pages of detailed questions about us, various beliefs we hold about parenting, our faith stories, etc. We also have to take a personality test for ourselves and then answer it again for each other. We also have to pass a CPS check, a criminal background check and our fingerprints have to check out. We have to get physicals and submit 6 references. Once all the paperwork is turned in, we have our first of 4 remaining meetings with her. The meetings are 2 weeks apart, and the last one is the visit to the home. We were thankful to find out that the only thing we need to do is fence the pool and lock up DH's guns. We'll eventually want to do other babyproofing too but it's nice that we don't have to expend time and funds on it now, so far in advance. So, we really could be done with our part of things in the next 12-14 weeks! Once our caseworker submits things, it takes the court 3-6 weeks to approve things. Assuming they do, we would then be certified to adopt and could transfer our info to Nightlight to being the waiting process for matching.
It's so nice to feel like we really have a handle on what exactly is expected of us and what we can hope to expect for the immediate future. I am surprised at how much I must have been stressing about this because just like our meeting with the doctor last week, I came away from it utterly and completely exhausted. Adrenaline is a powerful fuel source!
I'm excited to tackle a lot of this paperwork, especially because DH will be away on business so I'll have lots of extra hours alone. Thank you for your prayers. We think that this will be a really good fit and we're looking forward to working with her.
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