Post-Weekend Check-In

Hi everyone! I hope you all had a nice long weekend!

I've been in a funk lately, which is why I've been relatively quiet here in bloggy-land. I think it was just a combination of fatigue, grief, and hormones, but I was in an anti-social mood for almost 2 weeks, where I just didn't feel like seeing, being with, or talking to people. I guess I just wanted the world to stop moving for a few days while I caught my breath and processed everything that's gone on in the last month.

So for most of the last two weeks, I spent most of my time alone. Pastor is on vacation so I was alone at work. DH works during the day, so I was alone at home, and I didn't accept any social invitations. It was really kind of weird, because I'm one of the biggest extroverts I know. I will ALWAYS choose being with people over being alone. So this was just weird. But I spent a lot of time praying, thinking, talking with DH, and resting. I think that's probably one of the downfalls of the extrovert--you fill your time and thoughts with so much activity, that you don't often have time for quiet and stillness. I need to be more intentional about carving out time to be still.

This weekend was really recharging. I had tons of time with DH, which is always some of my best medicine. We hung out all weekend together, just doing life. Time with him just refills my love cup so much. He is self-employed in a manual-labor industry, so he works long hours that leave him physically exhausted during the week, so while we see each other, there's not a lot of quality time that happens during the week. So 3 days with him was just what the doctor ordered!

We've been doing little things to prepare for baby Matthew. This weekend, we ordered our carseat and stroller. Aren't they cute? I love the funky pattern and I think it will serve us well for both boys and girls.


On Saturday, we went and registered at Target. It was fun to shop for him. It's still a little early to be registering, but it was nice to go and start choosing things for him. He really IS coming!! Now that he has a gender and a name, everything feels so much more real and imminent.

I've determined that I really like transportation and jungle animals. Not sure where that came from, but brightly colored elephants and giraffes and airplanes and trucks are so cute! (The cars thing makes sense-DH is a 4th Generation Car Guy). But man am I a sucker for cute things!

I have a question for you mommies out there: we're also registered at Babies R Us. Babies R Us locations are far and few between in our town. But there are some things they have that Target just doesn't have, so we have both registries open. But in the cases of products that both stores carry, how do you choose which store? We tended toward Target because the stores are more easily accessible but I also know that Babies R Us is more flexible. Thoughts?

I have another question, too. I originally decided that I didn't want a traditional, full sized high chair. Our dining room is small and high chairs are large. I opted instead for a booster style seat that we could just strap to our regular dining room chair. But when we were at Target this weekend, we found this one which converts from a full size to a booster style. So then I thought the flexibility of that one might be nice. We only have 6 dining room chairs, which are easy to fill if we have company over. So I thought having the legs to make the chair freestanding in cases like that and in cases where I might want to feed baby in another room (would I ever want/need to do that?) might be nice. But I can't decide if legs and flexibility are worth the extra $50. Has anyone ever gone exclusively the booster seat route and regretted it?

We're also still deciding between cloth and disposable diapers. How about this-I'll make all the fun and cute decisions...someone else make the rest! :D

Another question: What are your top 5 baby items?

My piece of advice to other moms: don't let your DH carry the scanner gun! :) You never know WHAT you're going to end up with!

I know I'm doing a lot of this early, but we're trying to space out our major purchases, especially since he is coming right after Christmas, when our expenses are traditionally the highest.

The next big decision we have to make is where to bank baby's cord blood. As I mentioned before, this was a non-negotiable of the Genetic Parents. DH and I had originally intended to donate cord blood, because it is rich with stem cells and we had hoped that if scientists have plenty of access to those cells, they'd leave embryos alone. So, that was hard for us to let go of.

We don't have any objection to cord blood banking. We don't have strong opinions on delayed clamping or anything like that that would affect whether or not cord blood banking was an option for us. In reality, it's probably a wise investment considering we don't have any genetic commonalities with our children. That was the main reason Beau and Sheila wanted it--to preserve some genetic "resources" if you will for the children since we are unable to provide them. Has anyone banked their child's cord blood? What company have you used? How did you make that choice and have you been satisfied with it?

Someone asked me this question in a comment on my last post so I thought I'd answer it here:

We may consider EA, as a life-giving option and also because we will most likely not have a biological child. I worry if I could keep going through failed transfers like yourself. I know how hard it was for us to go through 2 failed IVF's. I know the pregnancy makes it all worth it, any encouragement to why EA is worth all even the losses? If you could you answer on your blog, as I still have not opened up that topic on my blog, I would really appreciate it. If you want to email me, let me know.

I believe EA is a calling. I believe it is something that God places on your heart, and then gives you the resources to accomplish. I don't view it as a fertility treatment or even as a strictly family-building endeavor. I and DH both believe with all our hearts that God called us specifically to this and that these children were always ours in His plan for us. Keeping that in mind makes the losses easier to bear because the end goal of glorifying God and being obedient stays the same in both life and death. I'm no saint, trust me. Loss is hard. I have 5 children in Heaven already, and realistically, probably more who will join them. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and it hurts every time. Quite honestly, I hate that part of this journey. But, when we adopted these babies, we decided to always want the best for them. And if their Creator has numbered the days of some of them to be shorter than the days allotted to their brother, we believe that we have to trust Him with them, regardless of how difficult it is. We believe that He loves them more than we ever could, and that while we miss them, Heaven is all they've ever known, so they're not hurting. Remembering that makes the losses more difficult to bear. Has this journey been hard? Yes. Exceptionally so. Far more than I ever anticipated. But I can say that beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is worth it. By God's grace, we have 12 children. 6 are now out of frozen limbo and He allowed US to make that happen for them. I love that they're not stuck and frozen anymore. And I love this little boy on the way with all my heart. God gives us the strength for both our joys and our sorrows, and there is great comfort in knowing that we are being obedient to His plan for us. I hope that helps, and I'll pray as you consider whether or not EA is what He has for you. Do any of you other EA mommies out there want to chime in for her? Feel free to comment on this post.

Several of my bloggy friends have experienced recent losses after failed FETs--praying for all of you, friends!

Thanks in advance everyone for any feedback you have on any of my questions!

19 Weeks!

Here's what's happening with baby Matthew this week!

Your amazing little baby is now around 10 inches in length! If this seems a bit shocking, you’ll be relieved to know they’ve not actually grown over 3 inches, but that their little legs are now straight enough to be measured. This is when doctors begin measuring fetal growth from head to toe, (no longer “crown to rump” or CR). Lanugo (little hairs) covers their whole body now, trapping that charming cheese-like vernix caseosa (see week 18) to the surface to the skin. This week your lil’ fetus will start on an appetizing diet of amniotic fluid which they are now capable of swallowing, digesting, and passing the fluid as far as their tiny “large” intestines.

And the verdict is...

We've joined team....





BLUE!

Matthew Michael Jeremiah is on his way!

Our appointment was almost an hour long!

He started out by being a stinker and only showing the top of his head. The upside (ha! no pun intended!) is that the tech got an extensive look at his brain and measured everything pertinent--everything measured properly and looked correctly shaped and positioned! She got some nice pictures of his profile, and confirmed that there are no indicators of Down's Syndrome or of a cleft palate. We weren't concerned about either, but the confirmation is nice just the same.


He decided that he's going to single-handedly revamp the trend of sticking your face on the copy machine. This picture gave us a good giggle. It's like he's pressing his nose up against the wall and saying "hello out there!"


Then he moved a little bit and she was able to see his abdomen, arms and legs. He has 5 fingers on each hand, which he waved at us, several times.


He stayed on his side for a long time. She was able to look at a lot of his internal organs and said that his kidneys, stomach and gallbladder all looked good.

FINALLY, he flipped, spread his legs, and basically sat on the camera. What cracks me up about this picture is that his face is in the background and he's almost smiling, as if to say, "I'm a boy and PROUD of it!"


After she took some more measurements, she switched probes on the ultrasound machine. We got this nice image that I think is easier to see:


Then, she surprised us by switching to 4D! We had no idea she'd do that and we were just tickled pink. She got this great picture. I love his little face.


After that she finished up and then said the doctor would be in to see me to do another ultrasound, just in case she missed something.

He walked in and said, "Your child is very....uncooperative." I just laughed. He's not even born yet and he's already got some mischief in him.

The doctor took some more images but had the same lack of success in a few areas that the tech had experienced. Basically, they were able to look some at the heart and they could see that it has 4 chambers and that the blood was flowing the correct way. But, they couldn't see as much as they wanted to. And, he absolutely refused to flip over and put his back toward the camera, so they couldn't fully investigate his spinal cord. So, they've scheduled us for a repeat ultrasound in 3 weeks so that they can take better images of those two areas. They did reassure us that from everything they COULD see, they thought things were normal. But they said they thought they'd be remiss if they didn't get some clearer images. I can't say I'm objecting to seeing our little man again.

Now, about his name.

Matthew is DH's middle name. I happen to think DH is the most wonderful man in the world, so I think it's fitting to name our son after him. The name means "gift of God," which this little one is. Also, the family middle name for men in DH's family is "Hugh." DH and I don't particularly care for that name. DH always thought his middle name was "Matthew" because it at least keeps the sound of Hugh. We recently asked his mom if that was true and she said it was not, but we actually still think it's cool and that it pays homage to the family name.

Michael was chosen in honor of Mike, our friend who just passed away. We really wanted him to meet our kids, and he was one of our biggest cheerleaders, so we thought it was fitting to honor him in this way. It's funny-ever since he died, I've felt like this baby would be a boy.

Jeremiah is the middle name we chose before Mike died. We chose it because of the verse in the book of Jeremiah that says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Given the way this little snowflake came to be and the fact that he actually had a "before my womb" time in his life and God chose to spare Him for us, we thought it was especially fitting.

We wrapped up little booties in blue and little girl onesies in separate packages for my parents and DH's parents with strict instructions that they not open the packages until instructed. Everyone was thrilled with the news that he's a boy, but my father in law was the most excited, I think. He has only one other grandson. And across this entire generation, there are only 3 boys. DH's cousin and his wife are pregnant. They don't know what they're having but if she's a girl, our baby will be the only male in this generation with the family last name. FIL is pretty stinking excited about that.

For our siblings, we had one Almond Joy Bar and one Mounds Bar and then told them each which one to unwrap. The theme song from the 80s for these two candy bars goes "Almond Joys have nuts, Mounds don't." I have to say that it's a little more crass than I would have preferred, but we couldn't think of any other inexpensive, creative ideas. It was fun.

On the way home from the appointment, we stopped at the party store to get the blue balloons. We came home and called the parents and siblings to direct them to the right packages, then called DH's grandparents, who were also excited, and then have spent the rest of the evening telling pretty much anyone who will listen! :)

It still hasn't quite sunk in yet that he's a boy. I'm a girl, so I know what to do with girls! I don't know what to do with boys. I guess I always pictured myself as a girl mommy. But, we're going to learn together, and I've been told that boys are much easier! :) I'm excited to learn!

So, that's our happy news. Thanks for letting us introduce our SON to you!

Weeks 17 and 18

I'm behind, again! Here's what's been happening with baby!

Week 17:

Don't be too shocked but... your baby is EVEN bigger than it was last week, not to mention getting cuter, and smarter every day! As you’ve come to expect, there’s no shortage of growth and development this week: your fantastic little bean stalk has added yet another half inch to their overall height-- making them nearly half a foot long! Their little limbs have reached (or are within one week of) their relative proportions, and will continue to grow evenly with the rest of the body after this week. Reactive listening has begun for your baby, even though their ears are not yet structurally complete or fully functional. Meanwhile, different parts of their astonishingly complex brain are developing to process your little one’s hearing and other senses, (you know, sight, smell, taste and touch). Mind boggling factoid of the week: if you’re having going to have a little girl, her ovaries have already produced millions of primordial egg cells, which, within a few weeks, will develop into actual eggs! Phew… just wait till she’s a teenager eh?

Week 18

We have two more ounces! Your "getting bigger-n-better by the minute baby" is already up to 7 ounces and 6 inches! This is a big week for their baby skin. There are now two distinct layers—the epidermis (or the surface skin) and dermis. Currently, their skin is covered with a greasy, waxy, cheese-like substance, known as vernix caseosa. Sure, it sounds pretty nasty, but this mixture of fatty secretions covering your little swimmer from head to toe is the best way to protect their oh-so-thin skin from bruising and abrasions as well as chapping caused by amniotic fluid exposure (and your little one is swimming in that stuff!). Still don’t like the fact your little darling is currently slathered in fatty cream like a greased pig? That adorable little greased piglet would have a lot harder time getting through the birth canal without the vernix caseosa. Fun fact for mommas with baby girls: it’s a uterus within a uterus! Your little girl will have developed a uterus and vagina canal by the end of this week.

Goodbye, Brother

There are some people who are truly good for your soul. Where your soul is better for having them in your life. Mike was one of those people for me. There are not a lot of people I really have that connection with, but I found it in Mike.

6 years ago, I met Mike. And I thought he was a jerk. He was rough around the edges, sarcastic, and generally just harsh. As a people pleaser who is rather gullible, I tend to not mesh well with that personality style. As much as I thought he was kind of a jerk, he probably thought I was uptight and high maintenance. So, for the first couple years that I knew him, our paths didn't cross much. In a sense, we were both a little bit right about each other. But we were more wrong than right (well he wasn't THAT wrong. I AM uptight and high maintenance ;) ), and I'm so grateful God corrected those first impressions.

Then, 4 and a half years ago, he got his first tumor. And something in him changed. He was the same Mike, but a softer version. He stopped trying to push everyone away and I stopped believing him when he tried. Beneath his tough-guy attitude and hard shell was a man full of humor, honesty, and humility. And we became fast friends.

Mike came through the first surgery with flying colors and soon they were on their way to adopting sweet little Skyler, the 3.5 year old love of my life. I remember we held a co-ed, all church shower for them when Sky came along, and Mike and Todd had a food fight in the middle of it. Mike was really the only one who could get away with a food fight in church.

As the years went on, God continued to soften Mike and Mike began teaching me and everyone around him about what it means to suffer with grace. He repeatedly said over the last several years that God was more concerned with his sanctification than his physical health, and that he was going to trust God to work as He saw fit. He was constantly reminding those around him to believe the character of God when our circumstances tempted us to doubt His goodness. Mike and his dear wife Krista handled this journey with such unwavering strength, and far better than the rest of us around them. As Mike's illness increased, so did his faith.

Last November, when we were approaching our second transfer, he said "this is as important to me as it is to you. I want you to relax, so I'm getting you guys a hotel room in Tucson [where our clinic is] so you can relax and not have to drive the morning of." For various reasons, we didn't take him up on his offer, but how much of a priority he made it really impacted me.

When we got the call that our transfer had failed, Mike happened to call me literally less than a couple minutes later. Of course I was hysterically crying and he wanted to know what was wrong. I told him and he asked what he could do and I just asked that he and his family be at church the next day. He came in and sent sweet Sky to hug and snuggle me, and then during the Sunday school hour, he just sat next to us and held us while we cried. I told him this week that I would loved to have been a fly on the wall in the room when he introduces himself to our first 5 babies as their crazy Uncle Mike. While I would have loved to have met them myself, I don't mind sharing them with him.

Mike was a big part of the reason I finally became not only comfortable with open adoption, but a strong advocate of it. Skyler's story is a rocky one--he should have been a statistic. In terms of the way the world thinks, his mother had every reason to abort him. And then there was every reason for the pregnancy to fail. And then every reason for Skyler to be born with problems. And every reason for the adoption to fall through. And every reason for Mike and Krista to be concerned about letting his birth mother too close to them. You know when people say "I don't believe in this or that except in cases of this." Well they had those "exceptions" at every turn. And yet, Mike had such a wonderful compassion. As far as he and Krista were concerned, they were taking both Skyler and his biological mother into their family, and their role was to be a ministry and blessing to both of them. They took the scary part out of open adoption for me. They loved in the middle of one of the most difficult combinations of circumstances, and loved without fear.

Mike and Krista have taught me a lot about the kind of parent I want to be. They have 3 really, really terrific kids. These kids are so full of love and joy and compassion and confidence and wonder. And I think the way Mike and Krista raise them is a huge part of that equation.

Mike had a huge heart. My own brother has had a rough couple of years. That just wasn't acceptable to Mike, so he was constantly trying to reach out to him and frequently asked me about him. He just had this giant heart for people, even those he hardly knew, or didn't know at all.

What I originally believed to be roughness or harshness, was just Mike being authentic. He had little patience for small talk and the superficial. He was a "say it like it is" kind of guy, and wasn't afraid to tell you when he thought you could stand to evaluate your opinion, behavior, conviction, etc. But he never used his honesty as an opportunity to be unkind. He truly mastered "speak the truth in love."

He was such a rascal. He used to call me on my cell phone just to chit chat and harass me. The gullible part of me has never gone away, and that made me one of his favorite targets. When he couldn't make it to church on Sunday mornings, he'd try to call or text me, just to see if I remembered to turn my phone off, thereby ratting me out to the whole church if I'd forgotten. Today someone's phone went off in church and for just one second, I forgot he was gone and thought that might be him. I walked into his traps without fail, every single time. But, it always brought me such great laughter. He had this dry wit that was so clever and subtle and completely effective.

We lost Mike in bits and pieces but several things continued to remain, among them being his compassion. One night before one of his surgeries this year, we spent several hours with him in his hospital room. And we talked about faith and God and love and family. And he spent at least an hour witnessing to and blessing the caregiver assigned to him. The remarkable part is that he didn't remember this occasion at all. Even when he was apart from his mind, his heart remained focused on Jesus. Strip everything away and take away all abilities to mask and pretend, and you see what remains. In Mike, that was a deep love for the Lord, and for people.

Mike was the closest thing I have had and will ever have to a big brother. He was everything I always imagined a big brother would be: loving, kind, protective, silly, challenging and rascally. He gave me so many wonderful gifts: lessons of love, kindness, and humility; a wonderful friend in his wife Krista; a close relationship with his three darling children whom I adore and who bless my soul so much; and most recently, 3 new sisters. He told me often that he wanted me to be friends with them, but as they all live far away, we'd not had opportunity to meet before.

As Mike was in hospice this week, Krista invited his friends to visit him. As he grew weaker, she began restricting the visits to just family. They were all so kind as to include us, and not only did they include us, but they checked on our well being in dealing with this. And it was such a gift to be around them and get to know them as well as we did because in each of them, I see a different part of him. Sisters, I don't know if you're reading this, but thank you. Getting to know you has made losing him a little more bearable. Thank you for letting me in this week. You gave me such a sweet gift. I love you all.

I still can't really wrap my head around the fact that he's gone. We went to see him the night before we left for vacation, and while he wasn't himself, we just thought it was a bad day. There was no indication that we'd be saying goodbye to him a week later. I am disappointed that that last visit was so difficult--I would really have loved to have had one last "real Mike" visit. But I'll always cherish all the others I did get, which I know are far more than many others were privilege to, so I am trying to hold on to that. And I love that if we were going to be on vacation, that we were in San Diego. He loved San Diego.

I'm a do-er. It's how I cope. So when the opportunity came for me to bless Krista by taking care of the memorial service, I took it. I had the honor of planning and coordinating the service and reception, selecting the participants in it, making the arrangements for the military honors, and creating the photo slideshow. He passed away on Friday, and the service was today, and we had church all morning, so getting everything done in time demanded almost round-the-clock work. And as much as his family has been thanking me for what I did, it was as much a gift to me to be able to do it. More than anything in times like this, I want to be useful. It was such a joy for me to really be able to pour my heart and soul into honoring this man and helping others honor him too. It was a privilege to take that burden off of Krista and his sisters. He looked at me very seriously recently and asked me to make sure I took care of Krista and the kids for him after he was gone. At the time I told him I didn't want to talk about it, and as much as Krista is one of the most capable, strong women I know, I felt that by allowing me to do this, they gave me the opportunity to begin or try to make good on his request of me. And quite honestly, it was a gift to me to have a distraction. I honestly didn't have time to sit down and really think about how hard this is, and I'm so grateful for that because when I do think about it, it overwhelms me. Having that "safety zone" of distraction while I gained some chronological distance from his death has been so helpful.

Now that the work is all done, it's harder. Last night after I finished everything that could be done in advance, I broke down because there was nothing to do except sit and think. It woke me up this morning. After the service was over, I came home for a little rest, and couldn't sleep because of my thoughts. And tonight, I'm just flooded with memories and nostalgia and heartache. I hate this quiet. This is where I really have to work at being still (ironic, isn't it?).

The memorial service went well. We had a wonderful turn out. Mike impacted so many lives. We had full military honors, with the flag presentation and the 21 gun salute. I think he would have been especially proud of that. People stayed for hours afterward just visiting, reminiscing, and loving on his family.

After everything was over, Krista invited the family back to her house, and she included us in that. As we sat around watching the flurry of activity and people laughing and loving on each other, Krista said "Mike left me with this amazing gift. Look at all these wonderful people!" And Mike would have loved it--all his favorite people, hanging out and just enjoying sweet fellowship in blessing each other.

I'm so grateful God was patient with my judgmental first-impression, and gave me a second chance to forge a friendship with this remarkable man. I've learned so much about who I want to be as a Christian, wife, mother, and servant. I've been challenged and humbled. I've laughed harder than I ever have before. I've fallen victim to more pranks than I can remember, and I have buckets full of sweet, sweet memories.

Goodbye, brother. I love you and I miss you, so very much.



The above picture is us, with Mike's family (Mike is standing next to me), and one other family from church. Our 3 families together make up one larger family, that Mike affectionately called the WWF (the first initials of our 3 last names).


PS: A huge number of wonderful people helped me with the memorial service, and I give you my sincere gratitude for your help in honoring Mike. I could not have pulled this off without you, and could not have honored him the way you did. I have to give a special shout out to my friend, Brenda who didn't even know Mike, but who brought a friend to set up the food and keep things refreshed so that none of us had to miss any part of the service or reception. My wonderful Mother-in-Law was going to do the same. Illness prevented her from coming, but the willingness to help was a blessing just the same. Thank you to all of you lovely ladies. You really gave me a precious gift in preventing me from having to miss anything.

Vacation Recap

Mike is still hanging in there with us. We spent most of the day there yesterday. Today I've got a wicked headache and I want to accomplish a few things around the house while DH works and then we'll go over. So, I've been distracting myself with processing vacation photos. If I constantly think about how much this whole situation stinks, I'll go nuts. So, without further ado, a vacation recap.

We left on Wednesday afternoon at 3:30--1.5 hours later than our intended departure time, but still early enough to get a good night's sleep in San Diego and wake up with a whole day on Thursday. Well, that didn't go exactly as planned. Between potty breaks and puke stops, the 6 hour drive took 8 hours! Guess it was good practice for vacationing and road trips with a kid! By the time we were checked in, unpacked and ready for bed, it was nearing 2:00am so we spent most of Thursday morning just being bums and sleeping in.

We stayed in this darling little hotel. I called in advance and requested an upstairs room, explaining that I'm a light sleeper. The woman who took the call was so nice. She not only put us upstairs, but she found THE quietest corner on the entire property. It overlooked the pool and it was set back in a little from the rest of the rooms, creating this cute little patio (the only room in the whole hotel with one), complete with picnic table. The hotel was one of the cleanest hotels I've ever stayed in. I saw them regularly washing down the patio furniture, trashcans, pool deck, etc, and our room was spotless. The room included a microwave and mini fridge, so I took the opportunity to pack food for us. I brought our little mini crock pot, and my sandwich maker that doubles as a griddle. We had fruit and either oatmeal or french toast every morning for breakfast, and paninis with crackers and veggies for lunches. We only ate out one meal a day, which helped with the budget. And since we both love Mexican food, that meal out was whatever hole-in-the-wall taco shop we could find, so even that was cheap. Phoenix has good Mexican food, but it's got nothing on San Diego!

DH laughed initially when I had an entire suitcase and cooler packed with food and when I unloaded it into the "kitchen" but I think he's sold on my way of vacationing!





Thursday afternoon we had the wonderful chance to meet up with one of my dearest friends from college, and his wife. They just happened to be in San Diego too. His work has brought him to Phoenix several times over the years, but it's been forever since we got a chance to see his wife. They're expecting too, and are just 1 month behind us. So she and I shared pregnancy stories and the guys commiserated a bit. Visiting with them was definitely one of the highlights of our trip. We hung out in Seaport Village, which was much prettier and cuter than I remembered. I'm totally bumming though, as I did not get a photo.

After we parted ways with Dave and Jenn, DH and I debated on what to do. We drove by the Gaslamp district but, as a baseball game had just let out, it was super crowded. We felt like we'd had our fill of Seaport Village, so we decided to head to Balboa Park. I spent the first several years of my life living in San Diego, but I guess I'd only ever been to the kid/playground part of Balboa Park. I had no idea or recollection of how breathtaking it is there. We spent hours just getting lost in the beautiful architecture and gardens.



DH took this one






I sat down to rest my feet and DH took the camera and walked away. He called my name a bit later and when I looked over, he snapped this.


After walking all over the park, we were ready for dinner so we stopped a local and asked for a recommendation for some good Mexican food. He directed us to El Zarape. It was this tiny little hole in the wall--our favorite kind of restaurant. It was crawling with people, so we took that as a good sign. We were not disappointed! The food was awesome!

We also got a call that night that my best friend had just given birth to her baby! It was a great day of celebration! 

The next morning, we stayed in again, just relaxing and napping and watching TV. In the afternoon, we ventured over to Coronado Island, which is home to what is becoming one of our favorite beaches. We walked around part of the little town and up and down the beach. We did go in the water, but it was 61 degrees! DH toughed it out longer than I did, but neither of us lasted long at all. I've truly become a desert rat!



And this is what happens when DH takes the camera.


Isn't he cute?


That night we intended to go back to the hotel and get cleaned up and go back out for date night, but we ended up being tired so we found another little taco shop, picked up food and ate in and spent the rest of the evening just lounging and swimming in the pool.

Saturday, we wanted to give the beach another chance. The marine layer was heavy, but we hoped it would burn off. We loaded up and headed over--the gloom was thick and the temperature was cold. We tried to drive north to see if we could outrun it--no luck. We turned back and went back to the hotel. After considering our options, we decided to go to Bates Nut Farm which is this charming little place that my family used to go to when I was a kid. DH thought it was hilarious that my family used to hang out at the nut farm :P They have this cute little country store, and this little area where you can feed their animals. We had a really nice time. It was fun for me to share that with DH and enjoy the nostalgia.



I used to stand at these barrels and just drool over all the candy. I just wanted to fill my bag with all of it! 


DH made friends with the goats. This guy in particular really liked DH. He was almost like a dog--he loved DH to scratch his ears!


This guy was the playground bully-he kept bumping the other animals out of the way when we tried to feed them.


I fed these guys great (great?) grandparents when I was a child.


DH thought this sign was perfect for us:


Then we headed back into town, enjoyed a swim in the pool, got cleaned up and went out for a night on the town in Old Town.


We went to Casa de Reyes, which is this darling restaurant with all outdoor patio seating, surrounded by fire pits, vendors selling roses and churros, and live music. We've been there a couple of times now, and definitely recommend it.

Sunday morning, it was time to check out. We got on the road around lunch time, and were almost home when we got the call about Mike. We drove faster than I think is legal anywhere on the planet, and arrived in time to spend several hours with him that evening.  That was a sad end to our vacation, but my mother in law pointed out that at least we are going into this season of grief with well rested hearts, minds, and bodies.

I want to write about Mike, but I'm going to save that for a separate post.

Overall, we're really grateful for the opportunity to have gone on vacation. Both sets of our parents and DH's grandparents had given us some money for Christmas and our anniversary, so we'd been saving it up along with our own contributions until we had enough for a nice little getaway. Given the struggles we were having between the two of us, and the new developments with Mike, and me recovering from being so sick, the trip could not have come at a more perfect time, and we're just grateful that we had the chance to go. My NVP behaved itself most of the time, which was also a nice gift. We were and are definitely blessed.

I'm off to go try to rest off this headache before heading back over to hospice. Thanks for checking in. I hope you all had nice weeks, too!

Home

We're home from vacation. We had a lovely trip. On our way home however, we received a phone call to hurry as quickly as we can because our dear friend Mike would soon be on his way home to Jesus. We prayed that we would make it in time, and we did. We stayed all evening last night. We came home to get some sleep. We've not received any word that he went home overnight, so as soon as DH wakes up, we'll be heading back over there. We would love your prayers during this time. Please remember specifically his wife and 3 children in your prayers.