I never really doubted that DH and I would be good parents...that is, until now. It's not that we've ever gone into this haphazardly or carelessly, but we're both good with kids, we have what we think are appropriate views on the responsibility of parents, we've had time to watch our friends and determine what we like and what we don't like in terms of approaches, and we have a good support system in place. But lately, as I start reading about all the things I'm supposed to have an opinion on, I find myself thinking, "good grief, I don't have the foggiest clue about what I think on this or that. I didn't even know I NEEDED an opinion on ________________." I guess I'm just experiencing new-parent freak-out. I know that God will give us His grace and wisdom to make the decisions we need to make, but it's hard to turn my brain off. I keep wondering if I've thought of everything, or how I'll find out the things I want to know, and when enough is just enough! So anyway. My latest lists are pediatrician questions and things I still need to buy to feel like we're ready for him to come. Too bad stores and doctors aren't open at this hour!
I had a really nice visit with Kim. I was disappointed to lose a day to sickness. True to my doctor's predictions, it seems to be increasing again with frequency. I'm disappointed, but this time, I know there's an end in sight. I mean, I knew there was an end in sight before, but at months and months away, it sure didn't feel like it. This time, I know it can only go on for 7-9 more weeks so I don't feel overwhelmed by it. Bummed for sure, but not drowning.
Poor DH has bronchitis! We're praying he gets better quickly--when he gets sick, he gets sick and it takes him forever to recover. He's on day 6 now, and the doctor said it looked like it was just starting to get worse! We're also praying Matthew and I don't get it. We'll see how that goes. I felt terrific yesterday morning, crummy last night, and mediocre right now. Mediocre is better than crummy, so I'm hopeful that the "improvement" means that last night was a fluke.
As far as pregnancy goes, I continue to feel pretty well, all things considered. Right about now I think I'd give my left arm for 8 consecutive, uninterrupted hours of sleep (well, maybe not my arm, but definitely a toe or a lock of hair or something!), but I don't seem to yet have a lot of the discomfort that a lot of women experience at this point in pregnancy, and I'm really grateful for that.
We had my 32 week appointment last week. I've lost a few more pounds, undoubtedly due to the rise again in sickness. I'm back down to a total net weight gain of 2 pounds. Doctor wasn't happy with that, and also couldn't really determine Matthew's position, so we're doing another ultrasound next week--oh, darn! He's also going to do a non-stress test at that time. I'm not super worried because I continue to feel him regularly, his heart rate sounded great, my rate and BP were fine and, well, by the time we have the exams, they will be 2 weeks after he ordered them, so the situation can't be too emergent. But we're praying with those factors in mind just the same. And like I said, I'm not exactly disappointed to get another glimpse of my baby boy.
He's started to do what we affectionately call "alien baby." I can look down at my belly and just watch it do these funny moves and rolls and waves. I had been able to see jabs here and there before, but to watch him move all over my belly is so cool and yet weird at the same time. The other night, Kim could see it from across the room! He's definitely exploring in there! It's really fun to watch and for the most part, his movements still aren't uncomfortable for me, thankfully (though last night he did go exploring in my ribs a few time--no, no, baby Matthew!).
I have a few more shower pictures :) Kelly did take pictures of some of those details I mentioned, so I'm tickled pink about that!
These snowflakes were hanging all the way up her banister and across the loft area of her home, which was directly above where we were all sitting. The funny part is that during the shower, they kept falling and crashing down on people (they're plastic so no one was hurt, but they did give us several laughs!)
Just a fraction of all the lovely food:
Baby's Great Grandma :)
All of baby's grandmas
I'm behind on a new picture because we didn't go to church Sunday (we always take the picture before church), but here's what's up with Matthew this week! :)
For all the weight and bulk you’re lugging around these days, you’d think your little champ should weigh much more than a mere 5 lbs and measly 17 inches in height, but nope, that’s about the average size for a baby in its thirty-third week. In terms of appearances, they’re getting cuter and pudgier every minute as they pile on the baby fat for those adorable little wrist rolls and chubby toes. And as we’re sure you’ve already noticed they’re getting stronger with every passing day. Nowadays, it’s possible to observe a well-placed kick just by watching your belly—but you already knew that didn’t you? Although they’re getting stronger, your bigger-by-the-day baby is losing space to move around, so the actual rate of movement will drop off in the last few weeks, despite that powerful drop-kick they’ve been working on. Hey, did you know you’ll continue feeling their movements even during labor?
Oh, and no weekly update would be complete without more tales from my Bradley class. Last week's class actually WAS useful and gave me hope that we're getting out of the goofy stuff and more into the practical stuff, but still, I have to share the funny stuff. At one point, we were discussing why labor may plateau. She gave us 3 possibilities: that the mother's body is not ready to progress (totally logical!); that the mother may not be emotionally ready to leave her old life behind and embrace her new life as mother (why do subsequent birth labors stall then??); and my favorite, that the baby may not emotionally be ready to come out--specifically, that he's afraid to leave the home he's known for 10 months and go to the unknown, so he lingers in the womb a few moments longer to cope. Ummmmmm, ok. I can understand a baby being physically resistant to change (especially if he's like his momma!) but I'm pretty confident he doesn't have the emotional self-awareness to say "self, you need to get a grip. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts and then let's do this?" I just had to laugh at the absurdity of it.
Then last night I was reading a book on managing back labor. I borrowed the book from my Bradley teacher. And the author told me to punch a wall hard with my fist, multiple times, to learn that...hitting the wall hurts your hand. I read almost the entire rest of the book and I still haven't figured out what that is supposed to teach me about back labor, but again, it did give me comedic relief. We didn't make it to class last night because we didn't think the other mommies would appreciate us bringing our germs to share, but I'm sure we missed some new gems!
Hope you joined me in a few laughs. Now I'm going to go try to roll the buzz-saw over to stop the snoring and try to get a few more hours of sleep. I hope this finds you all well!