Giveaway-Clothes for Parents of Snowflake Girls

Many years ago when our EA journey was just beginning, a lovely woman sent me a package full of clothes covered in snowflakes. To this day, it was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me.

Those clothes have sat in a hope chest all these years, waiting for a little girl to wear them.  I guess it just won't be my snowflake who wears them.

I have a whole box of things she sent and things I later added myself.

If you have a snowflake girl age 2 or under, please post the size she is in or will be in for winter clothes. If she'll still be under age 2 next winter, feel free to post that size.  If I have anything that matches up, I'll be glad to send things. I will email you for your address.

Let me know! I really want these things to go to another snowflake so please only post if your daughter is a snowflake :

ETA: I should have said if your daughter wears a size 24 months or smaller. It's fine if she's older than 2, but the largest size clothing I have is 24 months.

Hi Friends

Hi Friends,
I'm still here. My blog says that 75 people checked this blog today...why, I don't know. But it touches me to know you are all still out there and still care.

To be honest, I am struggling. A lot. I want to be authentic here, but I also want to be responsible with my story, my testimony, and my grief, and right now my heart is so dark, that I don't think it would be wise to put that all out there. I'm trying to take a more "Mary pondered these things in her heart" approach to this. Some of it is self-preservation, some of it is not wanting to be a bad example to others in grief, and some of it is sheer lack of ability to put everything into words.

So, I appreciate that you all have continued to check on me. The miscarriage was pretty physically traumatic. I don't know why it was 10 times worse than the one I had before I had Matthew and I was pretty unprepared.  But, it seems to have resolved itself and physically I am all back to normal. I'm grateful that it all occurred on its own and I didn't need drugs or surgery.

Husband is in about the same place I am. Matthew is pretty unaware of what happened. He did ask me recently if he is still a big brother and that broke my heart. He's also asked twice in the last week why we don't have any kids in our house for him. That's been hard to manage. I don't want to explain too much to him and break his heart more than it needs to be broken.

So, here we are. Thank you for your prayers...

Miscarriage...Again

I miscarried over the weekend. We've determined that I can't ever go through this again so this is the end of our Embryo Adoption journey. That's all we know now. Thanks for your prayers.

Rescinding

We've all heard of false positives and false negatives when it comes to pregnancy tests, but I have just experienced a

FALSE MISCARRIAGE!

I am so thankful for the God-given gift of maternal instinct, and the prompting of the Holy Spirit that encouraged me to hold out hope, keep taking my medicines, and ask for another test. The repeat test showed that my levels have now *multiplied exactly as they were supposed to* and, from everything we can know right now through lab work, the baby is JUST FINE. We're not sure what I experienced over the weekend or why the levels did what they did and there are some abnormal markers that they really would like to see improve, so we can still really use your fervent prayers, but hope is not lost, and baby is still here and growing!

I am so frustrated that my hand prevents me from typing everything that has happened in the last few weeks (I do my updates on my phone) so I am seriously considering vlogging it because there is so much glory and miracle to tell of!

Glory Baby

Beta drop

My beta in Monday was 29. I got word today that it was 27 on Wednesday. Morning sickness set in last night (Thursday). Doctor said to expect a miscarriage this weekend. We are praying for a miracle. Doctor said there isn't any hope but said I could continue my meds and test again on Monday if I want. I know a miracle can defy every impossibility. Would you pray that God spares this little one's life?

Checking In

Hi All,

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving! We did, but then

It's my dominant hand so I am super restricted in my activity and can't type easily. Texting is a little easier because I can access the whole keyboard with one hand. But, needless to say, that's why I haven't posted.

I got negative home pregnancy tests every day of my 2ww. Then my beta was yesterday and the doctor called today:

The story of God's journey with my heart this week is pretty incredible and I can't wait to tell it when I can type more. 

The reason the home tests were negative is that my blood count hormone is really low. That could mean nothing at all but it could also mean baby is struggling. So we are asking you all to pray with us. Grow baby, grow!

Thanks friends!