Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Week 11

We're in Matthew's 11th week of post-utero life. Can you believe it? Someone said that the days are slow but the years are fast. I think that's the exact right way to describe this time. In my sleep deprivation, the days sometimes feel like they drag on. But when I realize that he is 11.5 weeks old already, I feel like everything has happened in the blink of an eye.

He's just exploded in social development this week. He's started really being responsive and generous with his smiles. He's responds when we tickle his belly or play peek a boo with his blanket and when we sing him songs and give him big smiles. I think he's close to laughing, too. He made a noise yesterday that sounded sort of like a hyena cackling. A cute hyena, of course.

Thanks for your prayers for wisdom about vaccines. We came to a nice, middle-of-the-road solution and he responded well (as in, not at all) to what we did choose to give him.

Which reminds me: where are the resources for those of us who live our lives in the middle? Birth and parenting seem to be so dominated by extremes. Every subject-pregnancy, labor, delivery, sleep, discipline, feeding, medical care, education, etc all seem to be run by loud-mouthed bullies demanding an all or nothing acceptance of their way, leaving those of us who like to cherry-pick things and reside in the land of compromise to feel somewhat lost and without resources. It's so incredibly frustrating. Let me be clear when I say that I do think matters of capital-T Truth are black and white, all or nothing. But I don't think any of those subjects (aside from love your child and treat them well) are Capital-T Truth issues, and I think any one who says they are would be hard-pressed to find biblical evidence of that. I just wonder who those people think they're helping--what benefit they think they're creating. Anyway, I digress.

I talked to Sheila last week (or the week before?) for a long time. It was interesting to hear what our kids have in common with each other, and what is different about them. Matthew and his genetic brother seem to have a lot in common with each other. But in other ways, Matthew is very much his own little person who is very different from them.

My best friend and her kids are here--it's been fun to spend time together. Todd's sister comes soon, which will also be wonderful. Matthew will get to meet Beau and Sheila soon.

I wanted to write more about the last paragraph but little dude has just decided he wants to eat, and he wants to eat NOW, so I must go.

Not without a picture, first! My happy little dude:


  1. He is gorgeous!!! Miss you!! :)

    p.s. Yes, the extremes are so frustrating. I actually just read an article exposing the legalistic, all-or-nothing nature of Attachment Parenting (which is SO SO SO true, as I know, being around it quite often), and the other side (don't know the title, maybe the Babywise side?) is just as bad - and they tie God into it! Very little is written for the middle, and very little of the extremism is useful. Too bad.

    I hope to see you soon!!!!

  2. I SO know what you're saying about the extremes. But really, when you think about it, who is going to publish a book entitled "Trial and Error" or "Do What Works for You" or "Every Kid is Different"? They don't SOUND like effective parenting styles. Everyone wants the book/website/resource that resonates with them, that gives precise instructions for Perfect Parenting. No one plans to be a buffet-style parent, but it really is the best - you go from method to method, find what resonates with you (what works for your own quirky child), and run with it.

    My (totally unsolicited) advice? Do what feels right, relax, accept the inevitable imperfection, and don't allow anyone else to make you feel bad about your own parenting. You're doing a great job! Enjoy this phase - even with the sleeplessness - because before you know it he'll be walking and talking and crying in frustration because he doesn't want the yogurt to be refrigerated.

  3. Thanks for the update! Glad you were able to come to a comfortable decision about the vaccines. We have to research and then do what we feel is best for our family. I hate it when people try to make you feel bad for what you decide! Matthew is such a cutie! (And I'm hearing you on the sleep deprivation thing... mine is just starting!)

  4. I totally agree with Amanda. You and Todd will know what works best for YOUR family and I say, do what feels right to you. And other people's opinions of your choices that you make for your family are well, just that. Opinions. And that in the grand scheme of things, probably really don't matter because it's not their child and not their family so it's not their choice to make. He is happy and well loved and you guys are doing a wonderful job with him!! He's quite a lucky little man to have you two as his parents!