Epic update post!

Hello, Jen here, breaking radio silence again!

So much has happened in the last few months...and yet, everything is the same!

First, to update the prayer request from my previous post. I'm sorry I never came back to update it. We do have insurance again, Praise God. It's considerably more expensive, so DH's boss is looking for another provider but at least this company picked us up and backdated everyone, so no one has a lapse. We're still not out of the woods with the FSA money. We've been able to drain it considerably since my last post, but there's still a lot in there. They did some fishy things this past week that lead me to believe that the money is precarious, so we're just praying that it holds out a little longer until we can drain the rest.

We had the opportunity to take a vacation in September to see our friends in Illinois and Michigan. It was a nice trip and we had a lot of good time with our friends. We learned one vital lesson: Our marriage and our stress level would both be better off with a GPS, especially when driving in Chicagoland. Construction everywhere, random detours, ridiculously inadequate public transportation, inexplicable traffic and the pervasive belief that traffic laws and signals are just suggestions led for many an adventure. We're now the proud owners of a little electronic friend known as the GPS.

We spent copious amounts of time chatting, playing silly games and hanging out. A few times, we went in to the city in Chicago. DH went up the Sears Tower (I, fearing heights, stayed safely on the ground). We went to the Museum of Science and Industry (cool enough, but overrated, in my opinion), the Field Museum, Millennium Park (I LOVE the Bean!), ate breakfast at Ann Sather (you MUST do this!), took the El and the Metra, took an architecture tour down the Chicago River (also a MUST do!) and generally enjoyed being in one of the most fascinating big cities in our great nation. In the 'burbs, we went Apple Picking (so much fun!), to Lake Geneva, and shopping (I even got to set foot in Packer Country!)-too fun.






I also got to take Todd to see the house my grandpa built, which is just a town over from where our friends live.



Up in Michigan, we went to a fantastic little Cider Mill (where the guys spent an almost inordinate amount of time being fascinated by the gigantic cider press, which I admit, WAS pretty cool). We played in the corn maze, launched rotten fruit from sling shots, and enjoyed yummy cider and apple donuts. We had hours of silly fun playing a goofy video game and we just generally relaxed. We were grateful for another wonderful vacation-one we'd not originally expected to be able to take. (Thank you God for free airline tickets and friends willing to put us up in their guest rooms).




We came home with the conclusion that 1) We really truly enjoy each others' company. We knew this already, of course, but it's always such a joy for me to be able to bask in Todd's company for extended periods of time; 2) we miss our friends and 3) I really love the Midwest. Someday, we think we'll repay the snowbirds the favor that they pay Arizona every year. They come here in the Winter to escape the Midwestern cold. I'd like to go there in the summers to escape the Phoenix sun.

Lest I bore you with any further details of our wonderful vacation, I'll move on.

One piece of news that overjoys me greatly, is that our dear friends, who we visited in Hawaii last summer, just recently left the Air Force and have accepted a job here in Phoenix. The wife and I were dear friends and roommates in college and we've been amused to find out that our husbands, 1) like each other and 2) are remarkably similar. Our friendship dates back 10 years--it's such a ministry to my soul to know that someone I have a history with will be living here soon! Sometimes I feel like my life is rather fragmented or compartmentalized: My gypsy childhood (we moved countless times and I attended 7 schools by third grade), junior high and high school (where were finally in one place for longer than 10 minutes), college, and married life. It's rather amazing to have two of those worlds (and moreover, the two best worlds) being bridged. I can't wait for them to live here. I'm so grateful that God is giving us this opportunity to have close fellowship with them again!


Our big conference at Right to Life (for which I was the coordinator) came and went. It was amazing. God really brought us some gifted minds to share some incredible things with us. Not the least of whom was a dear friend and mentor from college, and Dr. David Prentice from the Family Research Council, who gave us wonderful teaching on Stem Cell Research, and taught the RTL Audience about Snowflakes! 300 more people heard about the program because of him, and I'm so grateful.

I also started a second job. I'm now the Administrative Assistant for our church. It's been wonderful-and I love it! Our church is small so the only two people on staff are the Pastor and I. It gives me a great opportunity to learn closely from the life of someone I truly respect, and to be really involved in the little details of my church-which I love. It's been great blessing for our family to have the extra income, and my gifts lie in organization and administration, so it's a great opportunity for me to use them.

My weight journey has been a little frustrating. I lost about 23 pounds. Then I put on a few during vacation (to be expected) and between vacation and the conference and adding the second job, I fell out of the gym routine. I'm back to within 5 of where I was, and we still have some time and overall, I'm still much better off than I was 6 months ago. I'm not where I wanted to be in terms of the number on the scale, but I feel so much better and ultimately, that's what matters. My metabolic numbers have improved, my inches have changed, my muscle composition has changed, my activity level has increased, and my diet has changed drastically. I plan to start the gym routine again tomorrow after work. I'd appreciate your prayers for diligence in getting back into things. By God's grace, I'll get a few more pounds off, before...

OUR TRANSFER! Our transfer has been scheduled for December 2nd. We had hoped to schedule for October, but things with my cycle didn't cooperate. We know God's timing is perfect though, so we don't mind the extra couple months. We'd appreciate your prayers-there are a lot of changes this time, namely, we're with a new doctor, which is a good thing, but which also means we have to go through the Contract Stage again, which is very stressful. This doctor has a different medication regimen too, which has already begun and has impacted me more strongly than before. (DH is taking it like a trooper, but I'm an emotional wreck half the time!) This regimen also involves self injections, which totally freak me out, but God has given us a friend at church who is a nurse who said she will help us! (I'd still rather skip the needles though!)

The doctor's office is in Tucson (about 120 miles from here). Quite a few things need to happen medically between now and then. We humbly ask for your showering of prayers over and for us and for our babies. Please pray for the medical ducks to fall in a row, for the medications to go easily, for the travel on the multiple trips between here and Tucson. Please also pray for the contracts and doctors to be life-honoring. Please pray of course for the thawing and transfer, and for our peace to accept whatever God's already-known outcome is.

People keep asking me how I feel. Honestly, I don't know. I'm more overwhelmed by the process itself this time than last time, such that I've not thought a ton about the transfer itself. I don't know if that's God protecting my heart, or if it's fear, or patience, or peace or fatigue, or what. I'm of course fearful, but the fear doesn't really feel tangible, if that makes any sense. Nor however does any excitement. I'm just taking things one day at a time, asking God for the grace to deal with what comes. I am logically excited, but I think He is protecting my heart...for which I am grateful. I guess I could describe my feelings as cautious excitement, if there is such a thing. I don't want to lose again, but I also don't want a heart burdened with fear and grief, so I try to approach the issue lightly.

So that's the last couple of months in our household!

A couple of random, off topic things:

If you're a Parent and you like Parent's Magazine, you can get a 1 year subscription now through October 31st from Amazon for $5. We've purchased a couple other $5 subscriptions from them and it's always been legit :)

Second, if you're doing Christmas shopping and you use Amazon, would you consider coming to my blog and clicking the Amazon link on the right to get to the site? We get a tiny little percentage if you do (from Amazon, not your pocket). I do a lot of shopping on Amazon, so if you have an associates link, be sure to share it with me and I'll gladly click!

That's it! Until next time! I pray this finds you all well!

Prayer Request

Hi Everyone.

DH receives insurance through his employer. Legally, the company he works for (the one he shows up to every day) is actually just a leasor. Legally, Todd is an employee of ABC Payroll Company, who then leases Todd to 123 Dealership. Every person at the dealership is the same way. It's set up this way, basically because by having everyone at 123 Dealership, plus 456 Restaurant, and XYZ Bank, etc, they're all 1 large group under the same employer (ABC Payroll). This basically means cheaper, better insurance than any one of those small companies with their small number of employees could get on their own. We just found out that the Payroll Company self funds their own (our) insurance. It's all administered by a benefits administrator (3rd party company). So there are 4 parties involved--the employee, the dealership, the payroll/insurance company and the benefits administrator. Typically when an employee has a question, we call the benefits administrator.

A few weeks ago we went to the doctor, who asked us to call the insurance and find out why they (doctor's office) had not been paid. We called the benefits administrator, who said we had to call the payroll/insurance company because they had done all they could and the checks were just sitting on the payroll company's desk, waiting to be signed.

We called. And called. And called. And called. The HR person at the dealership called. And called. And called. The owner of the dealership called. And called. And called.

Finally we find out that something hinky happened at the payroll/insurance company, basically leaving them unable to pay claims (even though they've been taking money out of our paycheck every month). We received word yesterday that they dropped everyone and we no longer have insurance. God has been good in that the owner of the dealership has already found a company who will insure our group immediately so benefits from here on, out should be ok.

The prayer requests are these:
1. These claims go back to April. Technically, we were insured through yesterday (August). They've taken several hundreds of dollars from our check each month. So we're not sure how that will work out. We're out the money for the premiums, and now we might be in the position of having to pay everything the insurance didn't, so basically we'll pay for everything twice, which we can't afford to do. DH's boss said the payroll company is going to try to settle with the providers-please pray that they do so that we're not on the hook for the outstanding bills.

2. They shut down our flexible spending account, too, which is money that's been pulled out of DH's check every month since January 1. In an FSA, the money is pulled out pre-tax, and then you can use it for medical needs including copays, over the counter medications, prescriptions, out of pocket expenses, etc. We incur the charges and pay up front, and submit receipts for reimbursement. You have the entire calendar year to use it up. You don't have to spend it at the rate you save it, or vice versa. So while we've paid in $2400 to date, we've only used about $1600. We would, theoretically, have til December 31 to use the other $800, plus any money that would have been taken out of future checks. Since there are no future checks, (at least through this payroll company), future money is not at risk. But that $800 is. That's about half the cost of the transfer we were planning to do in October and it's a sum we can't quickly recover. We have the other half in savings already, but this FSA WAS our savings account for the first half. We were fully funded for the costs of the procedure. Would you pray that we get that money back? It would most likely mean that we don't do a transfer this year, which would be very upsetting for me.

3. Please pray that we (all employees) are actually able to be enrolled in a new company, with no lapse in coverage. Please pray that the payroll company would act ethically and honestly in all things. Pray for wisdom and patience for DH's boss, who has to deal with this whole mess through no fault of his (or any of his employees') own.

Thank you very much!

Update: After I posted this, the lady from the payroll company, who we've been trying to reach for literally, almost a month, finally accepted our phone call and said the FSA money is safe. They're switching who manages it though, so it will take a few weeks til we can access it. I'm still a bit nervous til that actually happens, but I feel much better. Thanks for your prayers!

Rest

Hi everyone,

DH and I have just returned home from one of the best vacations we've ever had.

A few years ago, after DH was working entirely too hard for entirely too many hours, we decided to make it a priority to take a vacation every year. It didn't have to be fancy or extravagant, but we had to carve out a couple of days where our only priority was spending time together-no work, no household duties, nothing--just time together. So we have a little budget category for vacation that we save for.

This year, with the significant change in our income, it was tempting to eliminate that category from the budget all together. But knowing how much that time away refreshes us and draws us closer, we wanted to try to do it if at all possible. But we couldn't take the long-length, long distance trips we've taken the last couple of years.

It so happened that one of our groomsmen from our wedding, who now lives in Michigan, was going to be in San Diego. We wanted to get over to see them (San Diego is much closer and more doable than Michigan) so we decided to roll it in to one trip and do our vacation there. We had to do it on a very tight budget, but it ended up being one of our favorite trips we've taken. And it accomplished its purpose perfectly-we came home rested, closer together, and ready to go back to "real life" again with a renewed energy, direction, and united front.

We got creative so I thought I'd share our tips on how we tried to keep costs to a minimum:
*Picked a destination within driving distance. Gas prices are not at an all time low, but they're certainly more affordable than they've been in recent years. We spent about $100 in gas-much less than 2 round trip air tickets. We do have two free plane tickets, but we're saving those to visit friends later on where we can fly and stay for free.
*Planned our trip for weekdays-hotels are less expensive and attractions are less crowded, maximizing our bang for our buck
*Scoured the internet for days searching for the best rated budget hotel that was off the beaten path, and that offered a refrigerator in room. We found one that was clean, quiet, safe, and well reviewed that was less than 20 minutes from all the places we wanted to go--far enough that we didn't have to pay "convenience" pricing.
*I packed our mini (4 cup crock pot), steel cut oats (79 cents per pound), cinnamon, jam, juice, yogurt, flax seed, clif bars, cans of tunafish, bread, light mayo, relish, string cheese, carrots, fruit, nuts, bottled water, pop and gatorade, rice cakes, and goldfish crackers, along with a sponge, soap, a can opener, a measuring cup, a couple of tupperware containers, plastic bowls and silverware, a dish towel, napkins, ziploc bags and a big cooler. Though the hotel offered a free breakfast, it consisted of coffee and pastries (we called ahead to find out). That lasts about 10 seconds in terms of sustenance and energy, not to mention is full of empty calories. Every night before we went to bed we turned on our little crockpot full of oatmeal and in the morning we had a full, protein rich breakfast of steel cut oats with flax along with fruit and juice. We carried Clif bars with us all the time so we wouldn't need to buy snacks at expensive attraction and beachside shops. We made sandwiches and packed our lunch every morning and put it in the cooler in the car. We'd use the icemaker at the hotel to refill the cooler. All the other groceries stayed in the fridge in the room. We chose Tuna because it's also high protein, and it's very affordable. At the themepark we left it all in the cooler in the car and went out at lunch and ate out front and then reentered the park. We ate tunafish sandwiches on the drive, too-more nutritious than fast food stops, as well as faster since we didn't have to detour anywhere to get it. Though we had high protein meals, we also had some snacks available so if we wanted them, we had them. We didn't have to buy a single beverage, anywhere. That alone saved a ton.
*We scoured the internet for coupons on the attractions we wanted. In the end we decided on Sea World, and I was able to find a coupon code for $15 off admission each if we bought the tickets in advance and printed them at home.
*We did allow ourselves to go out for dinner each night, but we looked up restaurants in advance so we knew the menu and price range and could plan accordingly. We did not allow ourselves to go to restaurants that were any more expensive than something we would choose at home if we were living "normal" life.
*We chose one paid attraction (Sea World) and then filled the rest of the time with free attractions-walking around a beautiful historical hotel, watching Sea World fireworks another night from a neighboring parking lot, visiting the beach, playing card games, swimming in the hotel pool, etc, etc.

Overall, we had a wonderful, relaxing, refreshing time at a fraction of the cost of the vacations we've taken previously. Just because we couldn't go "all out" didn't mean we couldn't make some great memories. And hey, who else can say they travel with their crockpot?

The color in these looks funky-not sure why. These, and other pics, are also on my FB page and they look fine there. If you're my FB friend, look them up there!










Before our trip, our best friends were here from Chicago. It was bittersweet because they were here to clean out their house and move their stuff because their house here finally sold and they finally got a home in Chicago so they no longer need to live in limbo. This really cemented the move and removed the possibility of returning to live in at least the near future, which was tough for me and K, especially. I think the guys came to terms with it a long time ago. But in any case it gave us an excuse to have 2 weeks with them, which was great.

Visiting this great little homemade ice cream sandwiches shop--definitely not diet friendly, but very fun...


Lastly, our embryos arrived safely yesterday in Tucson, meaning we are forever done with the awful clinic here. It's a huge sigh of relief to know that neither me or my children are in their (incompetent) "care." We're still proceeding full speed ahead with plans for a November-ish transfer and this was the last detail to take care of. Now all we have to do is wait!

Thanks for checking in. I pray you all are well!

Gratitude

Hi everyone,

Our girls should be 2 days old (ish) today. Our due date was July 22nd. God has given us special grace. This week was not nearly so difficult as I expected.

Last week is an entirely different story. I think the anticipation of this week became the straw that broke the camel's back. I was at a party with a lady's small group we used to have at church and 90% of the conversation was about pregnancy, childbirth, co-sleeping, homeschooling, potty training, and all sorts of other things that flow abundant from the mouths of mommies to 0-2 year olds, all of whom my dear friends now are. It was difficult to see that in the years since our precious group met, all of my friends have moved on to give birth to one and sometimes two children, while we're still waiting. I struggle so much with comparing and asking the "what about us?" I knew that if I stayed at the party, I'd go on a downward spiral and I just couldn't go there. Not again. God saw fit to protect me from that and I made a quick exit. Each time, it hurts a little less, though I miss them all the more. I did come home and have myself a good cry and a lot of fretting with God, but He protected my heart from plummeting to the absolute depths of my grief. I don't know if that makes any sense or not.

What that evening did though I think was open the floodgate a little early, which made this week so much less overwhelming. I'm grateful that He saw fit to not let the waters build up too strongly before releasing them. Honestly I stressed so much about the approach of the due date that when it finally came, I could make it through it because it wasn't as bad as I thought.

As much as I miss and love our daughters, I am relieved that their due date has come and gone. While we were still in the time of "their" pregnancy, I always felt like I couldn't move on. I felt like that was "their" time and any thoughts of moving toward another transfer would be either betraying or attempting to replace them. And not that I've moved on from them now. In terms of love for them and memory of them, I never will. But I do feel now like a book has closed and we have opened a new one. A "this-is-our-new-normal, without-them book," rather than a "we-should-be-waiting-for-them, not ________" book. The feeling that I'm no longer stealing time away that should have been being spent differently is really freeing.

But dear friends, I am so blessed. In my loss, God has given abundantly to me.

My dear sweet husband. How I wish you all could know him! He is truly the sweetest, kindest, most gentle, loving, faithful man I have ever met. In his grief he has shown even more of his tender spirit, and that has been such a gift to me. Though I grieve to see his heart ache like this, I am blessed to have been witness to another part of his soul. What an amazing husband and papa he is.

My dear friend Amie. Amie sends me notes when I need them most. Amie has the kind of walk with God that I long to have. She is so in-tune with God's compassionate heart and she is so sensitive to His promptings when He puts people on her heart. Around Mother's Day, she sent me this note

Spent extra time praying for you today as you mourn your babies. We heard an amazing sermon today that was such a blessing. Our family visited Marylou today and left some flowers by her grave, we took two aside and threw them into the wind on the lookout view over the cemetery in honor of your twins and prayed for you as a family. WE love you!

I hope one day I will be able to minister to you to even a fraction of the degree that you have blessed my heart. Thank you for everything. In every interaction with you, I learn more about the heart of God.

Dear Cindy-You are so generous to me with your friendship and mentorship. Thanks for picking up the pieces, so very many times and for being so tireless with your mercy and love.

My friend Erica. Erica is another who has the gift of compassion and mercy. She reaches out to me so faithfully and is such an example to me in so many ways.

Heather. Dear Heather! Fellow mommy at heart! I can't wait to meet your little Snowflakes. How blessed I am by your friendship. Thank you for continuing to reach out to me even though I've been lousy at reciprocating.

Grandpa and Grandma-thank you for your constant reminders of love. Thank you for remembering everything, always. I have a box full of notes and cards that I will always treasure. Thank you for loving us through your gifts of time and encouragement.

T-Thank you for being the sister I never had.

Grace and Niki, my due-date sisters. I miss all of our angels. And I love you both. Thank you for your friendship. Though I hate that any of us are going through this, I am grateful God gave us each other!

Jessica-your friendship, your love for others, your compassion, your wisdom and your wit teach me so much! I hope that I can be as intentional of a mom as you are. You are truly one of the most gifted women I know.

My sweet godson. He truly is balm for my soul. I love his little laugh, the joy in his heart, seeing the world through his eyes. Thank you, sweet friends, for honoring us by allowing us to share in his life.

Diana-our journeys are different, but so similar. Thank you for being so consistent in your friendship, your sweet emails, the things you remember!

Sweet PJ. You have the Lord's Shepherd's heart. It's beautiful and we are so thankful for it. Thank you for dedicating your life to the Lord's service and to our church family.

All of the friends and strangers who have reached out to us through this blog. Thank you for the notes of encouragement, the admonishments, the resources, the prayers and the wisdom. The internet has been used for a lot of awful things, but I have seen through this blog how God can redeem it and truly use it for His name's sake.

I always hesitate when I consider posting something like this because I don't want anyone to feel left out or under appreciated. I truly hope I don't communicate that to anyone. This season of loss has forced me to focus on how much I've truly been given and I want to shout from the rooftops what a great God we have, and publicly praise Him for these gifts He has bestowed upon me. All of you are an example to me. In some respects I feel like putting off parenting until I have learned all that God has to teach me through all of you. However, I know if I did that, I'd never be done. Christendom is a better place because of you. I am a better woman because of you.

Thank you, sweet Jesus, for using the loss of my girls to give these generous gifts to me. Grace and peace to you, dearest friends!

Grief

I started this post on 6.26.09. I didn't have anything else to write, but I wanted to make sure the sentiment was shared.

First, thank you to everyone for your kind words about Mother's Day. I really wasn't trying to be a brat about it or make anyone feel bad. In my head I was just playing back a recording of how things had been--matter of fact, recitation. I didn't mean it as a guilt issue at all! I apologize if it came across that way.

************

Today, July 6, 2009

Dear friends,
My heart is in despair right now. The grief of missing my girls overwhelms me and the pain grows only stronger as their due date approaches. Time had quenched some of the fire, but the knowledge that I should be preparing to hold them in my arms but instead have an empty belly and empty arms, breaks my heart right now. I am crying out to God but I confess the hurt and loneliness feels new all over again. In recent weeks I felt like the mourning season was coming to an end and now I feel like it has just begun. All I did today was read and pray and cry and sleep. I've half heartedly attempted our household bookkeeping tonight, but I only go a few minutes before the tears start again. Oh, how I miss them!

Several people have mentioned that they wanted to say something, or ask me how we're doing or ask me about the girls, but didn't know if they could, or should.

I can't speak for every grieving mom, but for me, someone mentioning them helps. It helps me to know they and we are not forgotten. So please, always feel free to ask if you want. If you don't want to ask for your own sake, that's ok, but know it's always ok with me if you do want to. Silence hurts worse than any questions...

I love you all.

Broken,
Jen

Is anyone still out there?

Hello, dear readers! The author of my favorite book often referred to her audience as "dear readers" and I always thought it was so endearing.

First--in demonstrating how to use wordpress for someone else, I accidentally deleted my blogroll. Can you please post your link for me here in the comments?

I didn't intend to take a break from blogging--it just sort of happened. But it's been good overall. I've been at the gym A LOT (aside from this week, I go 5-6 days per week). The exercise has been good but now it makes me a little nuts to sit at a computer long enough to blog!

The spring time was a little difficult too. As I write this, I should be 8 months pregnant. Mother's Day was awful. Nearly every person we know seemed to forget it was Mother's Day for me too. We're sort of dreading Father's Day for the same reason. The excessive commercialization and marketing of the two holidays, combined with the utter silence from our friends and family just made us feel very lonely. Every commercial, radio advertisement and business gimmick was just a brazen reminder of what we'd lost. I'll be very grateful when this weekend is over. Overall I've actually been doing well but these holidays resulted in a significant setback.

I had to make the conscious choice to not dwell on the negative thoughts and feelings. That included, for a time, not blogging. I finally feel like I'm coming out of that funk and it's no longer so detrimental or exhausting for me to sit and process the more difficult thoughts.

The weight loss journey is going well, albeit slowly. I'm down about 20 pounds, 2.5% body fat, and 6.25 inches. I exercise a ton (I do weights and swim 1/2-3/4 of a mile 5-6 days a week!) I checked out every book on nutrition I could possibly find and have been reading a ton. I really want to make this a lifestyle change, and I want to know why and how certain foods are better for me, better together, better cooked certain ways, etc.

The new doctor in Tucson is AMAZING. We're shifting my care to him. I feel so much better about entrusting the babies and myself to him than I did with the other "doctors." I really feel like he was an answer to prayer and I'm so grateful that God provided him.

We discussed my weight loss with him. He's willing to do a transfer sooner (fewer pounds lost) than I was. He was comfortable with 35, I want to get to 50. But the weight is coming off so slowly and we also have to factor in that we have to do the transfer this year because of our FSA money. So I'll continue my weight loss plan faithfully from now through August 30. Then he wants me to stabilize for 2 months so my hormones and chemicals that change during weight loss can level out. In October I'll start the medication regimen. Then we'll do another transfer at the end of November. That gives us December to work with in case November has to be canceled for any reason.

At my current rate of weight loss, that should put me right about 40 pounds down. I'm comfortable with that :)

This summer we'll be moving the babies to the Tucson clinic, so I'd appreciate your prayers as we make those arrangements and as they travel.

DH and I are coming up on 6 years of marriage at the end of this month! While we'd hoped to have a house full of kids by now, I've been so grateful for the time we've had together that so many other couples miss out on. He truly is my best friend and best companion and I enjoy time with him so much. That's been a real gift for me and though infertility has been difficult, the exclusive attention of my husband for so many years has been a treasure.

I lost the diamond out of my wedding ring last week. We've yet to locate it so I went in to the local jeweler to see what our options were for costs of replacement, repair, etc. In talking, he noticed my other ring (my snowflake ring). I commented that it was the ring my hubby gave me for our adoption and that we did what is called a "Snowflake Adoption." His face lit up and he said "you did? Really!??" He was so excited because he and his wife have been researching it and had hit a dead end. A snowflake adoption outside of California has three components-the Snowflake Agency, your own state's adoption agency and the medical provider. They had gotten what they needed from Nightlight, but had hit a brick wall on the other two fronts. So we talked about cost, procedure, doctors, etc. I walked out of the jeweler and wept. I lost a rock. A stone. A lifeless, tiny piece of earth. But I gained a chance to try to plant or water a precious seed that just maybe, God will grow. He may use this family to provide a home for some precious children, and provide precious children to this couple who long so much for a child. Or He may use them to spread the information to another family down the road. Who knows? God does. But I'm absolutely confident that our meeting was a divine appointment. Pray for that family that God would make the information they need readily available and that he would make very evident His plan for them.

My sweet sister in law and her family are in town and staying with us this week-it's been such a joy! She went to fetch the kids from grandma and grandpa's house so I want to scoot off to the gym in her absence and therefore need to cut this short.

If you're still out there, thanks for reading and for your patience. Please remember to leave me your blog address so that I can find you again!

Grace and peace to you, dear readers!

Awesome!

I'm so grateful that the truth is getting out there through such a major national platform!