"Imagine yourself as a fountain of milk." Yep, that's what Dr. Sears suggests (among other things) as a method for improving breast pumping efficiency. I think he might know my Bradley teacher, who told me to imagine my cervix was a flower. No wonder I would fail Attachment Parenting 101. I have yet to master the art of the ridiculous metaphor. I mean seriously? But I digress... (Disclaimer: I actually have no problem with AP--it's not a philosophy we choose but I don't think it's bad or harmful so more power to those of you who choose it! But really? A fountain of milk?)
Let me back up. How did I get here?
Ah yes. Milk issues. Breast feeding advocates will often list off reasons why "breast is best," among them being, "It's free! All you need is a baby and a boob! Think of all the money you'll save by not buying formula!"
Ah, but as we all know, my body doesn't like to do anything properly. Nope. Nothing.
We had trouble getting Matthew to latch right in the hospital. When he was under the bili-lights and could only be out for 30 minutes at a time and we were spending over half of those fighting with him to latch, the lactation consultant in the hospital finally gave us a nipple shield to make it easier for him. At that time, it really was best, because he could spend all 30 minutes eating, instead of only 10 or 15. We tried to break him of it when we got home, and couldn't. I waited a few weeks again, and couldn't. Lather, rinse, repeat. He's now 7 months old, and still using the darned thing. And for a while, it didn't matter. It wasn't affecting my supply, or the amount of milk he was getting. He was growing and thriving, I was producing well, everything was hunky dorey. Woohoo!
That all changed about a month ago. I started noticing that at his evening feeding in particular, he was super fussy. He would pull off and cry, then nurse, then cry, over and over and over again. It wasn't the normal evening fussiness for babies. After an hour of this, he'd still act like he was starving. At one feeding, I weighed him, fed him, and weighed him again and he'd only taken in half an ounce after being at both breasts for an extended amount of time. I would pump until I ached, and only produce about 1/2 an ounce total, even if it had been hours since baby ate. It was time to call in some help. I had tried to help myself by taking fenugreek and pumping more, but something wasn't working. (Edited to add clarification: the nipple shield is not the cause of my supply issues. It may have a slight adverse affect, but it's not the primary problem. We're trying to eliminate it now to remove all negative variables, even though the impact of this particular one is relatively small).
I talked to some nursing mommy friends. I called the hospital and talked to the LC there. I read a lot online. One thing I decided to do was rent a hospital-grade pump. These pumps are usually stronger and provide a smoother suck, more akin to a baby's suck. Through a chain of referrals, I ultimately ended up at a wonderful little store (Modern Mommy Boutique if you're in the Phoenix area), and the owner there really knows her stuff. She experienced supply issues with her own daughter and had to go to great lengths to fix them, so she had a lot of ideas for me. I tried a couple of different hospital grade pumps, and ended up with the Ameda Platinum. She also suggested that I take More Milk Special Blend. She immediately asked me if I had PCOS. I said yes, and she said that I needed to rebuild mammary tissue and suggested that in addition to fenugreek, I take other supplements, including Goat's Rue. The More Milk Special Blend specifically contains those ingredients. It's specifically formulated for PCOS. More information on PCOS and supply issues can be found here. So I now drink water like a camel, take the supplement 4 times a day, and pump as often as I can, usually 2-3 times per day. And I have noticed a difference. Now I can pump anywhere from 2-4 ounces per day, depending on how often I pump. And that amount seems to be increasing every day. That's not a ton, but it's enough that I can mix that amount in with his oatmeal or fruits for his dinner feeding and make sure he's still getting as much of my milk as possible. He doesn't seem to struggle quite so much in the evenings with his feeds.
I'm also having a very recent problem with pain. Nursing shouldn't hurt. After your first few days, it almost always indicates something is wrong. Something with position, with the latch, with your body--something.
Today, I went to a breastfeeding support group led by an LC. We're still trying to break Matthew of his plastic habit, and she suggested I try a different shield, that's sort of between the size and shape of the natural breast and the shape of the old shield, to see if that can sort of step him down back to the breast. We'll see. She also made some adjustments to my positioning.
So, for me, breastfeeding isn't free. It costs about $150/month in pump rental, supplements, tax, and various odds and ends that come up (but yay! As of this year, things to aid in breastfeeding are tax deductible!) It may cost more if I decide to go with a private LC consultation.
I did everything possible to maximize my chance of success at nursing. We took a great class together before Matthew was born. I have the support of a hubby who is on board with it. I watched videos and read about latching and positions. I talked with nursing mama friends. I eat galactagogue foods and drink a ton of water. I insisted on seeing the LC every day I was in the hospital.
And you know what? Sometimes, that's just not enough. Sometimes, nursing is just HARD. In earlier times when we lived with our mothers and sisters and cousins and friends, a woman was surrounded by tons of built-in help. Now, in our single-family-home culture, you have to seek out help, and even then, it's usually in small chunks of time.
Why am I writing all of this? I guess to assure you that if you struggle with it, THAT'S OK. More women than you know struggle with nursing. A lot of women decide they have exhausted all their options and stop nursing altogether. I thought I was at that point--I didn't WANT to stop but I thought I had run out of options. If you need help, or if it doesn't come naturally, that's ok! Don't get down on yourself about it. I struggle a little with my attitude about it--one more thing my body can't or won't do on its own for my baby. But I am thankful that so far, there seem to be remedies.
If you want to keep nursing, keep at it. Seek out help. You may have to get creative. Keep your spirits up and your patience long. If you have exhausted your patience or your will or your resources and you've reached the end of your nursing journey, that's ok, too! Thankfully, we live in a country with several great options of formula alternatives.
If you do seek out help, I guess, just take it with a grain of salt. There are some real breastfeeding nazis out there, which is honestly, the reason I didn't seek professional help sooner. I've been judged for my use of the shield. I've been judged for preferring to nurse under a cover or in the privacy of a dressing room or even in my car while away from the home (one person called me a pervert who must secretly find breastfeeding to be dirty, and another said I must be ashamed of it. I assure you, neither are the case. For modesty's sake and for preserving what I believe to be private between my son and I, when I am around strangers, and/or men who are not related to me, I choose to cover up). For some people, breastfeeding is a cause. For me, I just wanted to be able to feed my son. So, as long as you can ignore or blow off the activists and militants, the help out there can be wonderful. Your hospital where you delivered may offer free help. You may have a breastfeeding store near you like I do. There are tons of books and websites. You can find a support group. You can hire a private LC. You can hook up with the La Leche League if you're really brave.
And like I said, if you have gone as far down the journey as you are able or willing to go and end up closing the book, that's ok too. I am definitely NOT an activist and how you feed your child is none of my business. But if you ARE struggling and DO want to continue, just know you're not alone and you don't have to throw in the towel if you don't want to. There's nothing inherently wrong with you if it doesn't come as easy as the sing-songers say it should. Sometimes you DO need more than a baby and a boob, and that's ok. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Infertility makes it even tougher when something else goes wrong (pregnancy, birth, nursing, or in my case, all 3!) and part of me is like, "Seriously? I have to fight for THIS, too?" But it's also been a good reminder to me that that's what's in store for me as Matthew's mom. It's my job as a parent to fight for him to bring us to what we think is best for him. I had to fight to bring him out of the freezer and keep him safe in my body. I had to fight to deliver him, and now I'm fighting to feed him. It's HARD. But, it's my pain, my job, and my joy, all beautifully and inextricably interwoven together. I will encourage my IF friends, that the fighting now is a little easier. It's the same fight as before, but with a baby in arms, it's easier to see the forest for the trees. Easier to look down and see WHY you're fighting. Easier to look back on previous battles and go, "ah, now I see why." So if you're in the midst of a fight for your kids, either future kids or those already in your arms, be encouraged. You're doing something right! Every mom has to fight for her kids. We just get a little extra practice :)
If you ARE pregnant and plan to nurse, see if you can't find a breastfeeding class (ours was offered through the hospital). I learned a TON. And beyond the practicality, it's just plain COOL. The way God designed it is really amazing and incredible. Both DH and I were enthralled at the sheer intricacy of all the details.
Anyway, that's my PSA for the day, and one of the posts I referred to last week in my previous post. I've been working on this for days, but my aggressive pursuit of these things this week delayed me.
And in Matthew news, we finally have our first tooth. It poked through on Friday (8/26) during naptime. It's a bittersweet time for this mama, who already misses his gummy little smile. It's also made all these nursing issues super fun ;)
And on another note, I'm so glad I've been keeping this blog because I hadn't been recording the dates he learned to do things or developed new things. I had to fill out an update for Nightlight last week and it was nice to have this to go back and refer to when they asked me things about when certain things occurred. I also used it to finally fill in my baby calendar. So, if I include dates on things from now on, it's not that I think you're all so intricately hung up on the details of Matthew's life--it's so I can retrieve them later!
Anyway, toodaloo!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Matthew Monday (7 Months)
I have finally remembered what I wanted to write about, but it comes with several other things I wanted to write about too. I'm going to try to remember to write all the posts in the next few days.
But we'll start with Matthew Monday! Today, my Matthew-man turned 7 months old.
I think this is my favorite picture of the bunch because this is his personality right now--roaring (rawring!), singing, howling, growling, yelling...
Here's his cute little smile
And here is when he decided to lean forward and come get me (or the camera, really)
Weight: Still flirting with 18 pounds. He teeters within an ounce or two on either side of it, depending on if it's before or after a feeding or a full diaper. This puts him between 25-50% for weight.
Length: 28.5", according to our best home measurement, putting him between 75-90%.
Skills: Rolling all over the place, jumping in his jumperoo (he now tries to bounce in place if you help him stand up--it's really cute), singing, blowing bubbles--mostly the same skills as last month, but more deliberate and precise now. I can't think of anything new he's done. Oh wait, yes! SLEEP! The boy FINALLY sleeps. He consistently sleeps about 9 hours from bedtime until an early morning feed, and then he goes down again after eating, for another 2-3 hours. Then he takes 2 decent naps per day. The boy thrives on routine, and it's good for mama, too. My biggest struggle now is getting my own body to fall asleep. Insomnia often keeps me up until about 2:00am, and then he wants to feed between 4:30 and 5:00. So though HE'S sleeping, my body still feels like I have a newborn because it's rare that I sleep more than 3 consecutive hours. So, I'd love your prayers for that. But, I digress....Hmmmm. Oh! He does this cute little boot scoot boogie on his tummy, but he will only go backwards. He can't scoot forward. It's super cute, though. Oh! And as I write this, I do remember his new "big" skill. SITTING UP! I'm learning that he takes a while to attempt or show any interest in a new skill, but then he learns it all at once. He did that with rolling over. He learned to roll over one way. Several days later, he learned to roll over the other way, and roll across the room in the same day. It's the same with sitting up. He went from barely being able to keep from toppling over to being able to sit up indefinitely in the period of about a week, literally.
Likes: Again, mostly the same as before
Dislikes: We're developing a little bit of separation anxiety. It's not too terrible yet.
Disposition: Still very curious, generally very happy.
Here are the rest of his professional 6 month pictures. I was waiting to post them until his grandparents got them so that they'd be a surprise for them.
We FINALLY got a family picture of him smiling. I look crazy and my hair is a mess, but I don't care--he's smiling! And bonus, it's still his darling little toothless-wonder smile that I love so much!
And his "official" (original) 6 month picture (before the re-takes, which are what are shown above
Ok, that's all for this post. More soon!
But we'll start with Matthew Monday! Today, my Matthew-man turned 7 months old.
I think this is my favorite picture of the bunch because this is his personality right now--roaring (rawring!), singing, howling, growling, yelling...
Here's his cute little smile
And here is when he decided to lean forward and come get me (or the camera, really)
Weight: Still flirting with 18 pounds. He teeters within an ounce or two on either side of it, depending on if it's before or after a feeding or a full diaper. This puts him between 25-50% for weight.
Length: 28.5", according to our best home measurement, putting him between 75-90%.
Skills: Rolling all over the place, jumping in his jumperoo (he now tries to bounce in place if you help him stand up--it's really cute), singing, blowing bubbles--mostly the same skills as last month, but more deliberate and precise now. I can't think of anything new he's done. Oh wait, yes! SLEEP! The boy FINALLY sleeps. He consistently sleeps about 9 hours from bedtime until an early morning feed, and then he goes down again after eating, for another 2-3 hours. Then he takes 2 decent naps per day. The boy thrives on routine, and it's good for mama, too. My biggest struggle now is getting my own body to fall asleep. Insomnia often keeps me up until about 2:00am, and then he wants to feed between 4:30 and 5:00. So though HE'S sleeping, my body still feels like I have a newborn because it's rare that I sleep more than 3 consecutive hours. So, I'd love your prayers for that. But, I digress....Hmmmm. Oh! He does this cute little boot scoot boogie on his tummy, but he will only go backwards. He can't scoot forward. It's super cute, though. Oh! And as I write this, I do remember his new "big" skill. SITTING UP! I'm learning that he takes a while to attempt or show any interest in a new skill, but then he learns it all at once. He did that with rolling over. He learned to roll over one way. Several days later, he learned to roll over the other way, and roll across the room in the same day. It's the same with sitting up. He went from barely being able to keep from toppling over to being able to sit up indefinitely in the period of about a week, literally.
Likes: Again, mostly the same as before
Dislikes: We're developing a little bit of separation anxiety. It's not too terrible yet.
Disposition: Still very curious, generally very happy.
Here are the rest of his professional 6 month pictures. I was waiting to post them until his grandparents got them so that they'd be a surprise for them.
We FINALLY got a family picture of him smiling. I look crazy and my hair is a mess, but I don't care--he's smiling! And bonus, it's still his darling little toothless-wonder smile that I love so much!
And his "official" (original) 6 month picture (before the re-takes, which are what are shown above
Ok, that's all for this post. More soon!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Amber (teething) necklaces-a review
There are two things that you probably already do know about me, but just in case you don't, I'll state them here, as they are relevant to my post:
I am a believer in Western Medicine. The most "alternative" I get in our healthcare is visiting the chiropractor. I don't do incense or acupuncture or aromatherapy or cleanses.
I tend to shy away from things that I feel are "new-agey." It's just not our thing.
So, that's why the fact that I'm about to make the following endorsements is such a big deal for me.
Matthew has had a horrible time with teething. It started when he was 4 months old. His gums were super swollen, and he was constantly miserable. At one point, one tooth poked through enough that it caused his gums to bleed, but then everything went back down. Sheila (Matthew's genetic mother) said her son, Seth, teethed the same way. He started at 4 months and nothing emerged until he was 7 months old. Matthew is a week shy of 7 months old and there's no emergence of teeth in sight. The swelling comes and goes. The teeth make a little progress, and then retreat.
But the poor guy was miserable. He was constantly in pain. He would put EVERYTHING in his mouth. He drooled all over everything. When it was bad, he would refuse to nurse. He didn't want to play. He had trouble sleeping. He would just whine and cry in pain, almost around the clock. We tried teethers--they helped some, but especially when he was so young, most teethers were too big for his mouth. He was also too young for any oral topical ointments, and teething tablets have been recalled. We tried frozen things, but often those were too cold for him. Sometimes he'd let me put some counter pressure on his gums but most of the time, he would wrestle away. I took to giving him baby acetaminophen (Tylenol), which helped tremendously.
The problem is, his teething has been prolonged, but he can't really safely take the medication for as long as he's been teething. Giving it to him around the clock for months on end is just not a solution that I felt was wise for him, nor is it recommended by medical professionals or the manufacturers of the medicine.
My happy little guy had disappeared, and in his place was a baby who whined or cried almost constantly. I was desperate to give him relief.
Some friends whose judgment I trust had said they had success in giving their little ones relief through the wearing of Amber Teething Necklaces, such as those offered by Inspired By Finn. Matthew was so miserable, I was willing to try just about anything, even if it fell outside my "box" of normal things I'd usually consider.
From their website, they advertise the following possible benefits of Amber:
The website goes on to list how Succinic Acid can possibly help with pain, inflammation, reflux, GI issues, immunity building, and energy. The concept of the body absorbing the oil sounded plausible enough, so I decided to try it.
I purchased this necklace for Matthew. It is believed that the more pale and opaque the amber, the higher the concentration of succinic acid. I thought that more=better for Matthew, and this was recommended widely as a popular option for teething so I gave it a try. They have a lot of other choices in all kinds of colors and degrees of opacity.
It arrived at about 4:00pm in the afternoon. I put it on Matthew immediately. It is important that your child only wear the necklace while he is awake and in view of an adult, so as to prevent strangulation. You want to select a necklace that is long enough to go comfortably around the neck, but short enough to prevent him from putting it in his mouth. It needs to have direct contact with the skin.
After wearing the necklace for 3 hours, Matthew was a different kid. I had my happy, smiley, laid-back baby boy back. He played and laughed and bounced. He was alert and social and happy. Bedtime that night was a breeze. The drool reduced substantially. I thought, "this couldn't possibly have worked this quickly! It must be a coincidence." I took it off him for bedtime. The next morning, we put it back on him. He's worn it every day since then, and he hasn't gone back to being crabby all of the time, which is how he had been since this whole teething journey began. And in the week and a half that he's had it, I think I've only had to give him Tylenol twice. He wears it almost around the clock and he's a pure delight to be around again. He coos, and giggles, and smiles. He's made absolutely no progress in the teething department so he SHOULD feel just as bad as he had for weeks prior. However, he's no longer whimpering in pain, and he has learned a ton of new things this week now that he can concentrate again on being my busy little bee instead of being in constant misery.
As I said, it's not safe to have him wear around his neck while he's asleep and/or out of my view, so I take it off for bedtime, naptime, and car-rides. However, I've taken to wrapping it twice around his ankle and putting it on under his 1 piece, footed pajamas (preventing any possibility of him taking it off) for bed time, and I also wrap his ankle with it while he is in his carseat because the harness prevents him from leaning over and reaching his feet. This enables him to be in contact with the amber during those additional hours, too, without posing a choking or strangulation hazard. They do sell anklets, and I do recommend that over my method because I've nearly lost our necklace a couple of times, as it's still too large to really stay on his ankle well and it falls off easily.
Matthew doesn't even notice it's there, so we haven't had any problems with him being annoyed by it. It's just there, as a sort of secret weapon.
I used to suffer from frequent headaches and migraines, usually caused by hormones and orthopedic issues in my neck. Regular trips to the chiropractor alleviated most of them and reduced their frequency from weekly (sometimes daily!) to very infrequently. They've been manageable for 5 years, and I was only getting them a few times per year. However, with the change in my hormones from pregnancy, the awkward posture and strain on my neck created by frequent nursing, the lack of sleep that comes from having a new baby, and the inability to see my chiropractor as often as I would like due to having to work around baby's schedule, my headaches have been coming back with much more frequency. As I am nursing, I try to limit how much medicine I take, especially if I've already given Matthew some of his own.
I was so impressed with the success I had seen in the amber giving Matthew some relief, that I decided to try one for me. I chose this one because it was the lightest, most opaque choice available in adult sizes. It happened to arrive today, while I was struggling with a headache.
I put it on about 3:00pm. It's now 10:00pm and I do feel different. I wouldn't say that I've noticed as significant a difference in myself as I noticed in Matthew's behavior, but that's hard to gauge because I'm not him and can't exactly know how he was feeling--I can just observe. I also am a full grown person so the amber is more diluted in me, and am capable of coping with my pain independently and he is it not, so I don't need as much calming down as he did. That being said, my headache is completely gone, and I did not take any medication. I did have a can of pop for the caffeine, but that is not usually enough to kick it on its own. But within 5 hours, the headache was gone, and I've had it all day. My neck and shoulders feel less tense. The release of tension is huge for me because usually, it just builds and builds until I give in and go to the chiropractor. I no longer feel like I'm teetering on the edge of full blown migraine-land, which is where I was before. Thankfully, my headaches are not constant like Matthew's teething is, so I won't be able to test it again until I have another headache, which hopefully will be a long time from now. I plan to wear it daily, even when I don't have a headache, in the hopes of preventing them or reducing their frequency. Since I'm not clairvoyant, if I never feel the headache, I will have no way of knowing it was warded off, so the best endorsement I can give today is the elimination of today's headache that I DO know existed. It's certainly better than napping, drinking soda, and/or taking a handful of pills!
I said that Matthew doesn't notice his necklace. He does notice mine, and tries to lean over and eat it :) It's pretty cute. Of course, I don't let him, but he is determined to get it one day.
Are you convinced yet? If you want to Amber a whirl for yourself or your little one, head on over to Inspired By Finn. Enter the discount code "Matthew" to save 25% off your entire purchase. I hope whatever you purchase brings as much relief to your family members as our necklaces have brought to us! If you decide to make a purchase, post a comment and let me know what you chose!
Disclaimer: I paid full price for Matthew's necklace. I received a discount on the purchase of my necklace in exchange for posting a review. I would have posted a negative review if I wasn't impressed--it was not stipulated that the review be positive.
I am a believer in Western Medicine. The most "alternative" I get in our healthcare is visiting the chiropractor. I don't do incense or acupuncture or aromatherapy or cleanses.
I tend to shy away from things that I feel are "new-agey." It's just not our thing.
So, that's why the fact that I'm about to make the following endorsements is such a big deal for me.
Matthew has had a horrible time with teething. It started when he was 4 months old. His gums were super swollen, and he was constantly miserable. At one point, one tooth poked through enough that it caused his gums to bleed, but then everything went back down. Sheila (Matthew's genetic mother) said her son, Seth, teethed the same way. He started at 4 months and nothing emerged until he was 7 months old. Matthew is a week shy of 7 months old and there's no emergence of teeth in sight. The swelling comes and goes. The teeth make a little progress, and then retreat.
But the poor guy was miserable. He was constantly in pain. He would put EVERYTHING in his mouth. He drooled all over everything. When it was bad, he would refuse to nurse. He didn't want to play. He had trouble sleeping. He would just whine and cry in pain, almost around the clock. We tried teethers--they helped some, but especially when he was so young, most teethers were too big for his mouth. He was also too young for any oral topical ointments, and teething tablets have been recalled. We tried frozen things, but often those were too cold for him. Sometimes he'd let me put some counter pressure on his gums but most of the time, he would wrestle away. I took to giving him baby acetaminophen (Tylenol), which helped tremendously.
The problem is, his teething has been prolonged, but he can't really safely take the medication for as long as he's been teething. Giving it to him around the clock for months on end is just not a solution that I felt was wise for him, nor is it recommended by medical professionals or the manufacturers of the medicine.
My happy little guy had disappeared, and in his place was a baby who whined or cried almost constantly. I was desperate to give him relief.
Some friends whose judgment I trust had said they had success in giving their little ones relief through the wearing of Amber Teething Necklaces, such as those offered by Inspired By Finn. Matthew was so miserable, I was willing to try just about anything, even if it fell outside my "box" of normal things I'd usually consider.
From their website, they advertise the following possible benefits of Amber:
Baltic amber is not a stone, but a fossilized tree resin.
Historically, Baltic Amber has been used in Europe as a natural and traditional remedy and curative for many ailments for centuries. Long ago it was considered one of the leading medicines of its time. Baltic Amber is the most esteemed amber in the world, and the healing qualities of Baltic Amber make it unlike any other type of amber found in the world.
When baltic amber is worn on the skin, the skin's warmth releases trace amounts of healing oils from the amber. These oils contain succinic acid and are absorbed into the skin.
Baltic Amber has some of the highest concentrations of Succinic Acid found in nature, and this is what makes it so special. Succinic Acid is a natural component of plant and animal tissues, and it's presence in the human body is beneficial in many ways...
The website goes on to list how Succinic Acid can possibly help with pain, inflammation, reflux, GI issues, immunity building, and energy. The concept of the body absorbing the oil sounded plausible enough, so I decided to try it.
I purchased this necklace for Matthew. It is believed that the more pale and opaque the amber, the higher the concentration of succinic acid. I thought that more=better for Matthew, and this was recommended widely as a popular option for teething so I gave it a try. They have a lot of other choices in all kinds of colors and degrees of opacity.
It arrived at about 4:00pm in the afternoon. I put it on Matthew immediately. It is important that your child only wear the necklace while he is awake and in view of an adult, so as to prevent strangulation. You want to select a necklace that is long enough to go comfortably around the neck, but short enough to prevent him from putting it in his mouth. It needs to have direct contact with the skin.
After wearing the necklace for 3 hours, Matthew was a different kid. I had my happy, smiley, laid-back baby boy back. He played and laughed and bounced. He was alert and social and happy. Bedtime that night was a breeze. The drool reduced substantially. I thought, "this couldn't possibly have worked this quickly! It must be a coincidence." I took it off him for bedtime. The next morning, we put it back on him. He's worn it every day since then, and he hasn't gone back to being crabby all of the time, which is how he had been since this whole teething journey began. And in the week and a half that he's had it, I think I've only had to give him Tylenol twice. He wears it almost around the clock and he's a pure delight to be around again. He coos, and giggles, and smiles. He's made absolutely no progress in the teething department so he SHOULD feel just as bad as he had for weeks prior. However, he's no longer whimpering in pain, and he has learned a ton of new things this week now that he can concentrate again on being my busy little bee instead of being in constant misery.
As I said, it's not safe to have him wear around his neck while he's asleep and/or out of my view, so I take it off for bedtime, naptime, and car-rides. However, I've taken to wrapping it twice around his ankle and putting it on under his 1 piece, footed pajamas (preventing any possibility of him taking it off) for bed time, and I also wrap his ankle with it while he is in his carseat because the harness prevents him from leaning over and reaching his feet. This enables him to be in contact with the amber during those additional hours, too, without posing a choking or strangulation hazard. They do sell anklets, and I do recommend that over my method because I've nearly lost our necklace a couple of times, as it's still too large to really stay on his ankle well and it falls off easily.
Matthew doesn't even notice it's there, so we haven't had any problems with him being annoyed by it. It's just there, as a sort of secret weapon.
I used to suffer from frequent headaches and migraines, usually caused by hormones and orthopedic issues in my neck. Regular trips to the chiropractor alleviated most of them and reduced their frequency from weekly (sometimes daily!) to very infrequently. They've been manageable for 5 years, and I was only getting them a few times per year. However, with the change in my hormones from pregnancy, the awkward posture and strain on my neck created by frequent nursing, the lack of sleep that comes from having a new baby, and the inability to see my chiropractor as often as I would like due to having to work around baby's schedule, my headaches have been coming back with much more frequency. As I am nursing, I try to limit how much medicine I take, especially if I've already given Matthew some of his own.
I was so impressed with the success I had seen in the amber giving Matthew some relief, that I decided to try one for me. I chose this one because it was the lightest, most opaque choice available in adult sizes. It happened to arrive today, while I was struggling with a headache.
I put it on about 3:00pm. It's now 10:00pm and I do feel different. I wouldn't say that I've noticed as significant a difference in myself as I noticed in Matthew's behavior, but that's hard to gauge because I'm not him and can't exactly know how he was feeling--I can just observe. I also am a full grown person so the amber is more diluted in me, and am capable of coping with my pain independently and he is it not, so I don't need as much calming down as he did. That being said, my headache is completely gone, and I did not take any medication. I did have a can of pop for the caffeine, but that is not usually enough to kick it on its own. But within 5 hours, the headache was gone, and I've had it all day. My neck and shoulders feel less tense. The release of tension is huge for me because usually, it just builds and builds until I give in and go to the chiropractor. I no longer feel like I'm teetering on the edge of full blown migraine-land, which is where I was before. Thankfully, my headaches are not constant like Matthew's teething is, so I won't be able to test it again until I have another headache, which hopefully will be a long time from now. I plan to wear it daily, even when I don't have a headache, in the hopes of preventing them or reducing their frequency. Since I'm not clairvoyant, if I never feel the headache, I will have no way of knowing it was warded off, so the best endorsement I can give today is the elimination of today's headache that I DO know existed. It's certainly better than napping, drinking soda, and/or taking a handful of pills!
I said that Matthew doesn't notice his necklace. He does notice mine, and tries to lean over and eat it :) It's pretty cute. Of course, I don't let him, but he is determined to get it one day.
Are you convinced yet? If you want to Amber a whirl for yourself or your little one, head on over to Inspired By Finn. Enter the discount code "Matthew" to save 25% off your entire purchase. I hope whatever you purchase brings as much relief to your family members as our necklaces have brought to us! If you decide to make a purchase, post a comment and let me know what you chose!
Disclaimer: I paid full price for Matthew's necklace. I received a discount on the purchase of my necklace in exchange for posting a review. I would have posted a negative review if I wasn't impressed--it was not stipulated that the review be positive.
Monday, August 15, 2011
I totally had something I wanted to say
But I've completely forgotten what it was. Mommy brain has made me more scatterbrained than I was when left to my own devices, which was bad enough on its own.
So, until I remember, here's my little darling, playing with his best buddy, Lewis. Playing with Lewis is the only time we hear those big cackles.
And, look what we have learned to do!
The first time he actually did it was AT the photographer studio, so we actually got it on camera. His balance was way off, though, naturally. So cute!
But I really wanted to get a picture of him smiling. So, the next week when we were in picking up those pictures, the studio was totally empty, so I asked the photographer if she had time to shoot a few more. She did, and look what we got!
And when I saw this one, I nearly cried. Look how OLD he looks!
Ok, that's all I have for now, until I remember what it is I was going to say! Peace out! :)
So, until I remember, here's my little darling, playing with his best buddy, Lewis. Playing with Lewis is the only time we hear those big cackles.
And, look what we have learned to do!
The first time he actually did it was AT the photographer studio, so we actually got it on camera. His balance was way off, though, naturally. So cute!
But I really wanted to get a picture of him smiling. So, the next week when we were in picking up those pictures, the studio was totally empty, so I asked the photographer if she had time to shoot a few more. She did, and look what we got!
And when I saw this one, I nearly cried. Look how OLD he looks!
Ok, that's all I have for now, until I remember what it is I was going to say! Peace out! :)
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Oh, Happy Day!
Matthew and I have had an amazing couple of days. For the last few days, he's been so wonderfully happy and playful. We are just having such a great time hanging out together. I wish I could convey how cute and sweet he is. I'm so glad that whatever has been ailing him for the last few weeks seems to have cleared up. He's so much more himself. He's just an absolute joy and delight to be with. I love this time with him. He giggles and coos and squawks and plays. He loves looking in mirrors and playing with the baby on the other side. He "talks" to my parents over Skype. He plays with his toys. He squeals with delight at the dog. He's just the cutest little baby you ever did see.
I just wanted to write down what a wonderful few days these have been.
I just wanted to write down what a wonderful few days these have been.
Monday, August 8, 2011
With Apologies to the Mommy Bloggers
It appears that my train of thought was not as on track at 2:00am as I thought it was, for it seems I completely derailed and conveyed an attitude of criticism of the Mommy Bloggers, when that was the farthest idea from my point. After all, *I* am a mommy blogger. I enjoy reading many mommy blogs.
Though I am secretly sort of envious of the fact that many of them can somehow manage to be simultaneously professional photographers, master chefs, accomplished seamstresses, Martha Stewart's more talented dopplegangers, fitness gurus, housekeepers who put Adrian Monk to shame, published authors, and experts on parenting and marriage, mommy bloggers are not the problem. When we compare ourselves to them, look to them for our answers, and use them as our measuring stick is when we fall into trouble. As my friend Jess pointed out, it's natural to want to highlight your successes and minimize the public display of your failures. I actually think the blogs are quite enterprising of these women, and as I said, I am in awe that they can be so multi-talented.
I just know that I personally have to be careful to avoid comparing myself to them and assuming that their solutions will work in our family. I need to concentrate on discovering God's best for our family. I have to tell myself that it may appear that they have it all figured out, but I know they're muddling through this just like I am. That was my point. My apologies to the mommy bloggers. Keep at what you're doing! :)
Though I am secretly sort of envious of the fact that many of them can somehow manage to be simultaneously professional photographers, master chefs, accomplished seamstresses, Martha Stewart's more talented dopplegangers, fitness gurus, housekeepers who put Adrian Monk to shame, published authors, and experts on parenting and marriage, mommy bloggers are not the problem. When we compare ourselves to them, look to them for our answers, and use them as our measuring stick is when we fall into trouble. As my friend Jess pointed out, it's natural to want to highlight your successes and minimize the public display of your failures. I actually think the blogs are quite enterprising of these women, and as I said, I am in awe that they can be so multi-talented.
I just know that I personally have to be careful to avoid comparing myself to them and assuming that their solutions will work in our family. I need to concentrate on discovering God's best for our family. I have to tell myself that it may appear that they have it all figured out, but I know they're muddling through this just like I am. That was my point. My apologies to the mommy bloggers. Keep at what you're doing! :)
Parent Trap
Do you ever stop to wonder...who ARE these people? The ones who write the books and the blogs and the websites? They have perfect homes, perfect walks with God, perfect marriages, perfect wardrobes, perfect craftiness, perfect household management skills, perfect homeschools, perfect children? And they're ever so eager to tell you how you can be perfect, too.
It doesn't matter WHAT the topic is. Discipline. Sleeping. Feeding. Vaccinations. Schooling. Parenthood brings out the armchair pediatrician, the well meaning know-it-all, the would-be educator and/or the activist in all of us. Why? I haven't quite figured that out. All I know is that whenever I have a question about ANYTHING, there are 20 people lined up to tell me their way of doing things, and as many blogs telling me THOSE people are wrong.
What's a new parent to do? It's easy to get caught up in, "Well so and so said this," or "such and such method worked for her" and, "according to Dr. Blah Blah, I DEFINITELY don't want to do THAT!"
Friends, it's a trap. And I fall into it, ALL.THE.TIME. The devil sure doesn't have to get very creative with me. The same trick works again and again.
I'm desperate to do things correctly, and well. I always have been. I'm a bad combination of the very "Christian" sins of people pleaser, perfectionist, cautious, and anti-confrontational (no, really, I am, despite the fact that I can get riled up in writing). When you add my son to the mix, it's a deadly combination because I now have someone whose life depends on me. And all too often, I take that to the step that says "whose life depends on how well I do or don't do this or that." The reality of it is? I'll screw up. A lot. I already have screwed up. And the Enemy likes to distract the absolute joy that is parenting for me by playing on my fears and weaknesses. My mind fills with what ifs?
Most recently, it was with foods. What foods should I give him first? How long do I wait before introducing a new one? If I start with sweets first, will he grow addicted to them? If I start with carbs first, will they fill his belly with empty calories. If I do it too early, will it set him up for allergies? Why is he unhappy today? Is it because he's reacting to the food I gave him yesterday or is he just having an "off" day?
But it doesn't stop there. Am I holding him enough? Am I properly helping him to sleep well? Did I give him the correct vaccines? Am I stimulating his intellectual growth properly? When I hold him upside down by his ankles (which he loves), am I hurting him? Does he feel neglected when I have to spend some time doing the dishes or folding the laundry or vacuuming instead of playing with him? On and on and on it goes!
And when I have a question, it's so easy for me to go to Dr. Google! Dr. Google has an answer for everything! Actually, the "perfect" parents have an answer for everything, and Dr. Google just helps me find them.
And to make the problem even more complex, every time I think I DO have something figured out, something changes, leaving me to desperately try to determine if it's because the method I had decided on was wrong, or if he's simply outgrown it.
Do you see the madness? If you do, you're quicker than I am, because I'm just now starting to see the real depth of it. The Devil doesn't need to distract me with a lot. Chasing my tail keeps me occupied for hours! And how clever that he's disguised it in the very virtuous thing of loving my son and wanting to care for him to the best of my ability.
But you know what? Matthew's life doesn't depend on me. His health doesn't depend on me. His happiness doesn't depend on me. His character doesn't depend on me. What I should be focused on is pointing Him to Jesus, on Whom those things all really do depend. Matthew 6 tells us:
Why is it so hard for me to grasp that these things are true for Matthew, too? If I spent half as much time praying over him and his eternal health as I do fretting over his earthly well being, both he and I would be better off. And there is the beauty of grace. Though I forget, Jesus does not. He loves my sweet boy even when I fail to continually surrender him to Him. And He loves him so much better than I.
And as my friend pointed out tonight, God chose Matthew for us. For whatever reason, God decided that we were the best and correct parents for Matthew. Just as He chose you to be the best parents for your child(ren). What other resume or skill set do we need? The God on High recommended us for our jobs! Why do I so quickly forget that?
The reality of it is, Matthew is going to live out his number of God-ordained days in spite of me. Whether I wrap him in bubble wrap, or throw caution to the wind, the number of His days is chosen by God. Whether I feed him sweet potatoes or pears, God's hand sustains and grows him. Whether he learns to sleep now, or not until he's an old man, God will grant him rest. Though I can do all I can to assure him of my love for him, only God's love is truly unfailing. God is MY parent. He is the perfect role model and equipper for this job He's given to me. And when I look in on His life, character, and word? It actually IS perfect.
I need to learn to rest in that. Those of you who know me know that I don't at all mean that we should abdicate our personal responsibility, the use of the resources and intellect God has placed within our grasp, or careful thought in all our decisions. I don't think we ought be fatalistic, or haphazard. It's not even that I think we ought not share our experiences and help with each other when and where it's warranted. However, if you're like me, you're far more tempted to become enslaved to those things than you are to abandon them. And yet, both habits are sin! Thankfully, if we confess our sins, HE is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). So, I confess that I spend too much time worrying, and not enough time praying. Too much time reading Dr. Google and not enough time reading the Word of Life. How gracious is God to reveal these things to me! And I'm pretty sure He'll need to reveal them to me again infinitely more times, yet I know in faith that in His infinite patience, He will! Where is our heart for the gospel? I wish I could say I spent as much time concerned about it as I do about, well...lots of other things. Filling Matthew's life and heart with the gospel will benefit him far more than anything else I can do, even if I did all the rest of it with absolute perfection.
Don't be tempted by the sin of perfection. I'm pretty sure that behind the prettiness of the mommy blogger lives, they have their own battles they're fighting. I'm confident that for every question they have a ready answer for, another sits unanswered in their minds. The truth of it is that we should be constantly pointing each other toward the cross, toward prayer, and toward He who sustains us all, rather than toward checklists, books, and causes. We ought do less advising and more exhorting and sharpening.
Advice and friends and books and research are are helpful to a point. But at the end of the day, I can try every suggestion in the book for every possible parenting scenario I encounter. But God is the One who is ultimately capable and willing to actually effect change! And you know what? He cares about my sweet potatoes and pears! How awesome is THAT?
This post stems today because we're having a rough time with Matthew's eating. His growth has slowed way down (beyond a normal plateau for breastfed babies), and in the past few days, he's started losing weight. I was struggling because I wondered if his recent fussiness was due to him being hungry and I just didn't realize it. That sent me into a nasty cycle of worry and mommy-guilt. We stayed in today to try a re-training baby bootcamp for his nursing and it failed miserably. We do need some professional help, but that's ok! I just have to keep my heart fixed on the fact that this isn't a surprise to God, that He ultimately has a solution, and that He will bring us through this and to it. Fretting isn't going to get me there any faster. Chasing down every internet link I can find with every possible idea isn't going to help me abide this journey in more peace and trust.
So, I would ask for your prayers for the feeding situation with Matthew. With PCOS, it is possible that I am having supply issues. It could be that he's just exercised a lot of his weight off with all his bouncing. It could be the way he feeds. It's also possible that he's just going through a growth spurt and both our bodies have to adjust. There are a million scenarios and I'm sure that with some help, we will get to the bottom of it. God has graciously given us the resources to be able to find some professional help, a network of sweet friends who have been through troubles and had some names to recommend to us, and the freedom of time for me to essentially go wherever or do whatever is determined needs to be done. In those things alone, I am already abundantly blessed. And if nothing else works, I also live in a Valley full of capable doctors, and in a country with grocery stores that sell formula substitutes. I know that before I have any answers at all, I have far more than many other parents around the world and for that I am grateful.
So, the bigger prayer request is for my peace and trust in this and all things Matthew. Parenting him is so easily my spiritual cryptonite. Every time I think I've finally hit my stride and am doing ok with things, a monkey wrench sends me back to my old "friends" named fear and worry. I wish I could break up with those guys. In my head I say, "I'm just not that in to you," but my track record shows that in my heart, I am.
I hope you're encouraged, your challenged, or even in enough disagreement with to think on this farther. And if you're not, that's ok, too. Thanks for reading though, as typing through this has helped me.
I am daughter to the most Perfect and Holy Father, wife to an amazing and wonderful husband, and mommy to the most delightful boy. I am blessed.
Blessings, love, grace, and the peace of Christ to all of you!
Signed,
A very imperfect mommy blogger
It doesn't matter WHAT the topic is. Discipline. Sleeping. Feeding. Vaccinations. Schooling. Parenthood brings out the armchair pediatrician, the well meaning know-it-all, the would-be educator and/or the activist in all of us. Why? I haven't quite figured that out. All I know is that whenever I have a question about ANYTHING, there are 20 people lined up to tell me their way of doing things, and as many blogs telling me THOSE people are wrong.
What's a new parent to do? It's easy to get caught up in, "Well so and so said this," or "such and such method worked for her" and, "according to Dr. Blah Blah, I DEFINITELY don't want to do THAT!"
Friends, it's a trap. And I fall into it, ALL.THE.TIME. The devil sure doesn't have to get very creative with me. The same trick works again and again.
I'm desperate to do things correctly, and well. I always have been. I'm a bad combination of the very "Christian" sins of people pleaser, perfectionist, cautious, and anti-confrontational (no, really, I am, despite the fact that I can get riled up in writing). When you add my son to the mix, it's a deadly combination because I now have someone whose life depends on me. And all too often, I take that to the step that says "whose life depends on how well I do or don't do this or that." The reality of it is? I'll screw up. A lot. I already have screwed up. And the Enemy likes to distract the absolute joy that is parenting for me by playing on my fears and weaknesses. My mind fills with what ifs?
Most recently, it was with foods. What foods should I give him first? How long do I wait before introducing a new one? If I start with sweets first, will he grow addicted to them? If I start with carbs first, will they fill his belly with empty calories. If I do it too early, will it set him up for allergies? Why is he unhappy today? Is it because he's reacting to the food I gave him yesterday or is he just having an "off" day?
But it doesn't stop there. Am I holding him enough? Am I properly helping him to sleep well? Did I give him the correct vaccines? Am I stimulating his intellectual growth properly? When I hold him upside down by his ankles (which he loves), am I hurting him? Does he feel neglected when I have to spend some time doing the dishes or folding the laundry or vacuuming instead of playing with him? On and on and on it goes!
And when I have a question, it's so easy for me to go to Dr. Google! Dr. Google has an answer for everything! Actually, the "perfect" parents have an answer for everything, and Dr. Google just helps me find them.
And to make the problem even more complex, every time I think I DO have something figured out, something changes, leaving me to desperately try to determine if it's because the method I had decided on was wrong, or if he's simply outgrown it.
Do you see the madness? If you do, you're quicker than I am, because I'm just now starting to see the real depth of it. The Devil doesn't need to distract me with a lot. Chasing my tail keeps me occupied for hours! And how clever that he's disguised it in the very virtuous thing of loving my son and wanting to care for him to the best of my ability.
But you know what? Matthew's life doesn't depend on me. His health doesn't depend on me. His happiness doesn't depend on me. His character doesn't depend on me. What I should be focused on is pointing Him to Jesus, on Whom those things all really do depend. Matthew 6 tells us:
"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, `What will we eat?' or `What will we drink?' or `What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Why is it so hard for me to grasp that these things are true for Matthew, too? If I spent half as much time praying over him and his eternal health as I do fretting over his earthly well being, both he and I would be better off. And there is the beauty of grace. Though I forget, Jesus does not. He loves my sweet boy even when I fail to continually surrender him to Him. And He loves him so much better than I.
And as my friend pointed out tonight, God chose Matthew for us. For whatever reason, God decided that we were the best and correct parents for Matthew. Just as He chose you to be the best parents for your child(ren). What other resume or skill set do we need? The God on High recommended us for our jobs! Why do I so quickly forget that?
The reality of it is, Matthew is going to live out his number of God-ordained days in spite of me. Whether I wrap him in bubble wrap, or throw caution to the wind, the number of His days is chosen by God. Whether I feed him sweet potatoes or pears, God's hand sustains and grows him. Whether he learns to sleep now, or not until he's an old man, God will grant him rest. Though I can do all I can to assure him of my love for him, only God's love is truly unfailing. God is MY parent. He is the perfect role model and equipper for this job He's given to me. And when I look in on His life, character, and word? It actually IS perfect.
I need to learn to rest in that. Those of you who know me know that I don't at all mean that we should abdicate our personal responsibility, the use of the resources and intellect God has placed within our grasp, or careful thought in all our decisions. I don't think we ought be fatalistic, or haphazard. It's not even that I think we ought not share our experiences and help with each other when and where it's warranted. However, if you're like me, you're far more tempted to become enslaved to those things than you are to abandon them. And yet, both habits are sin! Thankfully, if we confess our sins, HE is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). So, I confess that I spend too much time worrying, and not enough time praying. Too much time reading Dr. Google and not enough time reading the Word of Life. How gracious is God to reveal these things to me! And I'm pretty sure He'll need to reveal them to me again infinitely more times, yet I know in faith that in His infinite patience, He will! Where is our heart for the gospel? I wish I could say I spent as much time concerned about it as I do about, well...lots of other things. Filling Matthew's life and heart with the gospel will benefit him far more than anything else I can do, even if I did all the rest of it with absolute perfection.
Don't be tempted by the sin of perfection. I'm pretty sure that behind the prettiness of the mommy blogger lives, they have their own battles they're fighting. I'm confident that for every question they have a ready answer for, another sits unanswered in their minds. The truth of it is that we should be constantly pointing each other toward the cross, toward prayer, and toward He who sustains us all, rather than toward checklists, books, and causes. We ought do less advising and more exhorting and sharpening.
Advice and friends and books and research are are helpful to a point. But at the end of the day, I can try every suggestion in the book for every possible parenting scenario I encounter. But God is the One who is ultimately capable and willing to actually effect change! And you know what? He cares about my sweet potatoes and pears! How awesome is THAT?
This post stems today because we're having a rough time with Matthew's eating. His growth has slowed way down (beyond a normal plateau for breastfed babies), and in the past few days, he's started losing weight. I was struggling because I wondered if his recent fussiness was due to him being hungry and I just didn't realize it. That sent me into a nasty cycle of worry and mommy-guilt. We stayed in today to try a re-training baby bootcamp for his nursing and it failed miserably. We do need some professional help, but that's ok! I just have to keep my heart fixed on the fact that this isn't a surprise to God, that He ultimately has a solution, and that He will bring us through this and to it. Fretting isn't going to get me there any faster. Chasing down every internet link I can find with every possible idea isn't going to help me abide this journey in more peace and trust.
So, I would ask for your prayers for the feeding situation with Matthew. With PCOS, it is possible that I am having supply issues. It could be that he's just exercised a lot of his weight off with all his bouncing. It could be the way he feeds. It's also possible that he's just going through a growth spurt and both our bodies have to adjust. There are a million scenarios and I'm sure that with some help, we will get to the bottom of it. God has graciously given us the resources to be able to find some professional help, a network of sweet friends who have been through troubles and had some names to recommend to us, and the freedom of time for me to essentially go wherever or do whatever is determined needs to be done. In those things alone, I am already abundantly blessed. And if nothing else works, I also live in a Valley full of capable doctors, and in a country with grocery stores that sell formula substitutes. I know that before I have any answers at all, I have far more than many other parents around the world and for that I am grateful.
So, the bigger prayer request is for my peace and trust in this and all things Matthew. Parenting him is so easily my spiritual cryptonite. Every time I think I've finally hit my stride and am doing ok with things, a monkey wrench sends me back to my old "friends" named fear and worry. I wish I could break up with those guys. In my head I say, "I'm just not that in to you," but my track record shows that in my heart, I am.
I hope you're encouraged, your challenged, or even in enough disagreement with to think on this farther. And if you're not, that's ok, too. Thanks for reading though, as typing through this has helped me.
I am daughter to the most Perfect and Holy Father, wife to an amazing and wonderful husband, and mommy to the most delightful boy. I am blessed.
Blessings, love, grace, and the peace of Christ to all of you!
Signed,
A very imperfect mommy blogger
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