We have a transfer date! We're not sharing when it is (I've been so proud of myself-I've actually been able to keep this secret!!!!), but it is sometime within the next six months.
I'm in Thursday morning Bible Study at church and one of the activities we had to do a couple of weeks ago was to compare the traits of the Holy Spirit with a random word we were assigned. My partner in the activity and I received the word "an organized person." We had a few minutes to talk and ponder and I was reminded again that one of my favorite identities of God is that He is a God of order. Oh how I wish I manifested this particular characteristic with more consistency!
The transfer seems so close, yet still very far away. We're still very decidedly in the double digits (there's a hint--the transfer is somewhere between 10 and 99 days from now!) I have a little countdown clock on my computer that's constantly ticking away, reminding me how much time (too much!) is left. I've started the medications to prepare and that's given this all a new depth of reality. I've begun to want to organize, clean and prepare everything in sight. Is it possible for a woman to have pre-pregnancy nesting?
I've been working on purging old belongings, cleaning more regularly, establishing new systems, catching up on things long unattended to and just generally making sure things are in order. I've even started Christmas shopping and creating a plan to premake meals and freeze them so that if I'm too tired in pregnancy, I can just pull things out and reheat them without DH having to be responsible for feeding us. Part of it is just to keep my mind off of the wait but I'm also enjoying becoming more disciplined in my homemaking.
I've been worshiping a lot to the song "Worship in the Waiting" by FFH (gasp, yes, I, Jen, just admitted to liking a CCM song!) ;) It makes me think a lot about intentionally waiting, and preparing. Waiting in life is inevitable. But how we spend the wait is not a foregone conclusion.
With the advent of Christmas I think about how Mary must have been anticipating the birth of Christ. How do you prepare your heart for something like that? I can hardly wrap my mind around it. How close her heart must have been to the heart of God. I wish for the same!
And I think about how we are to be preparing with our lamps always ready for our precious Jesus to return. In that sense, our entire life is a wait. Are we spending it in diligent preparation for His coming? Are the corners of our hearts redd up and turned out? Is the state of our minds company ready? Do we do the chores of this life with obedience and joy? Are we actively trying to prepare the way for Him? I know for me, I can't say that the answers to any of those questions is yes all of the time, or even most of the time. So I've just been meditating a lot, searching my heart and mind and trying to learn from this waiting period. I think about how eager I am for these babies, and I think about how much more full God's heart is for me and all of His lambs. That sounds so "me focused" and that's not my intent. But it really is humbling to contemplate the love that the God of the Universe has for us and how patiently He waits for our hearts to surrender in abandon. I tend to avoid thinking about it--it's easy to dismiss in the name of piety and selflessness. But in moderation, I do think it is an appropriate part of meditation. "How Deep the Father's Love for Us..."
So while the impulsive, impatient part of me would probably trade waiting for just about anything else, I've appreciated the things that it has taught and is continuing to teach me. God is indeed generous and patient with me!
Hope you all are well!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Totally Off Topic: Amazon Prime
DH and I joined Amazon Prime a few years ago and we love it. You pay an annual membership fee and then all books, movies and music are shipped 2 day air for free, as well as a lot of items from their other departments. It's so nice to have things in 2 days, and to not have to be able to meet order minimums. The buy-in is a little high but we found it to be worth it because otherwise we were always adding a few dollars here or there to reach the minimums for free shipping. I buy books, movies, music, housewares, electronics, appliances and even groceries through amazon--the free shipping comes in especially handy with the heavy stuff. We've used it to buy snorkel flippers, my camera lens and and air mattress-all with free shipping. Free shipping makes Amazon's prices often better than the stores.
Right now they're offering a free trial of their Prime Membership. If nothing else, you could do some early Christmas shopping during the trial! Check it out here! The deadline is October 31 and the trial lasts a month. Perfect for the holiday season! If you sign up now or later, would you pretty please follow my link here to do it? We get a bonus if you sign up (even if you cancel after the trial) which helps us with OUR Christmas shopping =)
Monday, October 6, 2008
Documents
Hi Friends,
We're preparing for our first Frozen Embryo Transfer, which will be completed, Lord willing, in the next 6 months.
Our next step is to complete the paperwork with instructions about thawing, transferring and discarding embryos. Fertility clinics are, as a rule, very statistics and results oriented, and the life of each individual embryo is of little consequence to them as attempt to accomplish their goals.
The contract is currently worded with lots of provisions for destruction and selective reduction, as well as an overarching disclaimer of "when in doubt, the clinic decides." We have the right to change the contract, but the process of doing so is very stressful both because it puts us in conflict with the Embryologist's general policies and because we want to make sure that we leave no stone unturned in delineating every possible scenario, leaving no room for loopholes--a difficult process when the language is so scientifically technical and complex. We are committed to giving all 12 of these embryos the chance at being born, regardless of the Embryologist's opinion of their condition or chance for pregnancy. Under no circumstances do we want any of them discarded, nor will we consider selective reduction for any reason.
Despite these wishes, I have heard many stories from IVF and Snowflake Mommies, including our own Genetic Mother, about doctors trying to change those instructions even up to and on the day of the transfer, including while the woman is already medicated and on the table! Suffice it to say, this leaves us feeling very nervous, especially because we differ so fundamentally with our clinic's general policies concerning the value of life. I fear being accidentally persuaded to something we would never do, or leaving the power to for someone else to do something we would never do, out of sheer ignorance to all the ins and outs.
Would you please pray for us that we would have the wisdom to spell out an exacting, precise contract that leaves no room for question or error? Would you pray that we would clearly outline our expectations and that the Embryologist would clearly understand, respect and abide by them? Would you pray that our babies will be honored and protected and that we will do right by them? We know that their lives (and eventual deaths) are in the Hand and Heart of God, but we want to also make sure we are being responsible as we make decisions about them and their care. Above all, may God be glorified in this and all things.
Todd and Jen + 12 (and Lewis!)
We're preparing for our first Frozen Embryo Transfer, which will be completed, Lord willing, in the next 6 months.
Our next step is to complete the paperwork with instructions about thawing, transferring and discarding embryos. Fertility clinics are, as a rule, very statistics and results oriented, and the life of each individual embryo is of little consequence to them as attempt to accomplish their goals.
The contract is currently worded with lots of provisions for destruction and selective reduction, as well as an overarching disclaimer of "when in doubt, the clinic decides." We have the right to change the contract, but the process of doing so is very stressful both because it puts us in conflict with the Embryologist's general policies and because we want to make sure that we leave no stone unturned in delineating every possible scenario, leaving no room for loopholes--a difficult process when the language is so scientifically technical and complex. We are committed to giving all 12 of these embryos the chance at being born, regardless of the Embryologist's opinion of their condition or chance for pregnancy. Under no circumstances do we want any of them discarded, nor will we consider selective reduction for any reason.
Despite these wishes, I have heard many stories from IVF and Snowflake Mommies, including our own Genetic Mother, about doctors trying to change those instructions even up to and on the day of the transfer, including while the woman is already medicated and on the table! Suffice it to say, this leaves us feeling very nervous, especially because we differ so fundamentally with our clinic's general policies concerning the value of life. I fear being accidentally persuaded to something we would never do, or leaving the power to for someone else to do something we would never do, out of sheer ignorance to all the ins and outs.
Would you please pray for us that we would have the wisdom to spell out an exacting, precise contract that leaves no room for question or error? Would you pray that we would clearly outline our expectations and that the Embryologist would clearly understand, respect and abide by them? Would you pray that our babies will be honored and protected and that we will do right by them? We know that their lives (and eventual deaths) are in the Hand and Heart of God, but we want to also make sure we are being responsible as we make decisions about them and their care. Above all, may God be glorified in this and all things.
Todd and Jen + 12 (and Lewis!)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
The Babies are Here!!!
We got the news this morning that the babies have arrived at our clinic here in Phoenix! The Embryologist said that so far as she can tell while they're still frozen, they're no worse for the wear from the travel--I don't think I can say the same for DH and I! I could hardly sleep last night. I dreamed about them while I was sleeping and then I was up at 3:00 thinking about them and woke up at 6:00 again for good. My stomach was doing cartwheels and I've been a wreck for 3 days! But by God's grace they're here and safe and now we're ready to rest easily. My BFF said we experienced our first worried-parent episode! Man, that's a powerful force!
Thank you so much for joining us in prayer and thanksgiving!
Todd and Jen + 12
Thank you so much for joining us in prayer and thanksgiving!
Todd and Jen + 12
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Weekend Respite
Update on the babies: Still no update :( My cycle is still out of whack, though all the testing says there is no medical reason for it. The doctor's best guess is stress. We can't move forward with anything until this corrects itself. So these last couple weeks I haven't been hiding--just haven't had anything new to share-literally. So we're just in a waiting game. We can't even start talking dates until that happens.
But we did get away this weekend. We drove down to a U-Pick orchard in Southern Arizona. We got a little carried away and ended up with 60-75 pounds of Asian Pears and Apples. Guess we'll have plenty for cobblers, sauces, jams and breads! We also have plenty to share. Then we went to a U-Pick farm and we picked much more conservative amounts of fresh green beans (my favorite!), bell peppers, tomatoes, chilis, cucumbers, zucchinis and squash! I'm looking forward to putting it to good use. It was a long exhausting day though--the drive is just over 6 hours round trip, plus the time actually picking out in the sunshine. I was in bed by 9:00 last night! Today I made my first batch of apple sauce and I'll be making apple bread tomorrow.
Here are a few pictures from our day. I'd love to go down earlier in the season when there are more varieties of fruit left to pick. I'd also love to go in the spring when everything is blossoming and just walk the fragrant orchards!
Hope you all had a nice weekend!
My handsome hubby picking green beans
More green beans in front of us. Squash and eggplant behind us and maybe other things too?
Look at all those apple trees!
And big beautiful Asian pear trees behind us here
But we did get away this weekend. We drove down to a U-Pick orchard in Southern Arizona. We got a little carried away and ended up with 60-75 pounds of Asian Pears and Apples. Guess we'll have plenty for cobblers, sauces, jams and breads! We also have plenty to share. Then we went to a U-Pick farm and we picked much more conservative amounts of fresh green beans (my favorite!), bell peppers, tomatoes, chilis, cucumbers, zucchinis and squash! I'm looking forward to putting it to good use. It was a long exhausting day though--the drive is just over 6 hours round trip, plus the time actually picking out in the sunshine. I was in bed by 9:00 last night! Today I made my first batch of apple sauce and I'll be making apple bread tomorrow.
Here are a few pictures from our day. I'd love to go down earlier in the season when there are more varieties of fruit left to pick. I'd also love to go in the spring when everything is blossoming and just walk the fragrant orchards!
Hope you all had a nice weekend!
My handsome hubby picking green beans
More green beans in front of us. Squash and eggplant behind us and maybe other things too?
Look at all those apple trees!
And big beautiful Asian pear trees behind us here
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
The Babies are Coming, the Babies are Coming!
Hi friends,
We weren't originally going to announce this, but I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets, so here it goes.
The babies are coming!
Our 12 Precious Embryos will be shipping here next week via Fed Ex (more efficient than the stork ;) ). They will ship Monday-Tuesday or Tuesday-Wednesday, depending on when a cryogenic transport tank is available. We'd love your prayers that the airplanes and trucks involved would be protected from breakdowns, accidents, detours, paperwork mishaps, weather elements, logistical errors and other failures or delays that could place these precious little ones in jeopardy. The tank they are shipped in has a limited amount of Nitrogen which is ample if things go smoothly but in the event of a significant delay, there would be a risk of the nitrogen running out and of the embryos thawing. The process typically DOES go smoothly so we don't think there's an abnormal rate of risk. We know that these precious babies are in the capable hands of our Great and Loving God--we pray for His guidance and protection as He uses FedEx to bring them to us.
Still no news on a transfer date (and hopefully, I will be able to keep THAT a secret. My body is being wiggy. I've been in a few times for some diagnostic tests and we think we've got to the bottom of things but we'd appreciate your prayers that everything goes back to functioning normal so we can move on to start thinking and talking about an actual schedule for the transfer and all of the preparatory steps involved. Thanks!
Update: The babies' confirmed arrival date is Wednesday, September 24, so they'll be in transit Tuesday-Wednesday. Thanks for your prayers!
We weren't originally going to announce this, but I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets, so here it goes.
The babies are coming!
Our 12 Precious Embryos will be shipping here next week via Fed Ex (more efficient than the stork ;) ). They will ship Monday-Tuesday or Tuesday-Wednesday, depending on when a cryogenic transport tank is available. We'd love your prayers that the airplanes and trucks involved would be protected from breakdowns, accidents, detours, paperwork mishaps, weather elements, logistical errors and other failures or delays that could place these precious little ones in jeopardy. The tank they are shipped in has a limited amount of Nitrogen which is ample if things go smoothly but in the event of a significant delay, there would be a risk of the nitrogen running out and of the embryos thawing. The process typically DOES go smoothly so we don't think there's an abnormal rate of risk. We know that these precious babies are in the capable hands of our Great and Loving God--we pray for His guidance and protection as He uses FedEx to bring them to us.
Still no news on a transfer date (and hopefully, I will be able to keep THAT a secret. My body is being wiggy. I've been in a few times for some diagnostic tests and we think we've got to the bottom of things but we'd appreciate your prayers that everything goes back to functioning normal so we can move on to start thinking and talking about an actual schedule for the transfer and all of the preparatory steps involved. Thanks!
Update: The babies' confirmed arrival date is Wednesday, September 24, so they'll be in transit Tuesday-Wednesday. Thanks for your prayers!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Howdy!
Hi everyone,
I hope this finds you well! We had a really busy week and weekend. We've been working on home remodels and found some awesome clearance bargains at Lowes and Costco for our bathroom and kitchen. We also gave DH's office at work a makeover so we did a lot of painting and furniture assembly, too. It looks really good and I'm glad that he now has a peaceful, organized office--that always makes work so much more bearable.
Not much else is new on our end. We're just really busy! Hope you all are well!
I hope this finds you well! We had a really busy week and weekend. We've been working on home remodels and found some awesome clearance bargains at Lowes and Costco for our bathroom and kitchen. We also gave DH's office at work a makeover so we did a lot of painting and furniture assembly, too. It looks really good and I'm glad that he now has a peaceful, organized office--that always makes work so much more bearable.
Not much else is new on our end. We're just really busy! Hope you all are well!
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