Sunday, May 27, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Switching Gears
This is no longer a blog about Embryo Adoption. Excepting this post, I have removed all of my posts about Embryo Adoption, as well as most of the information in my sidebar about it.
The reason is that in my passion for promoting Embryo Adoption Awareness, I have become careless with our relationship with Matthew's Genetic Parents. Though I never intended to, in some of the things I've written about Embryo Adoption, IVF, Placing Parents (both generically and specifically), I have hurt them. I've said things that have hurt them and I've communicated to them that my passion for awareness is more important to me than them.
Embryo Adoption Awareness is important to me. It always will be. But my relationship with them is more important, so I am stepping away from EA Awareness efforts. I will be declining media interviews and I will not be writing here or elsewhere further on the topic. I don't know if this is permanent or temporary. They have not asked me to do it; I am doing it to try to show honor to them. Something is being lost in translation and I don't even want to provide myself with the opportunity to offend them so the best way to do that is to just refrain from the topic altogether. Beau and Sheila, I am so, so sorry.
I started blogging about EA in early 2008 when we started our EA journey, largely because I was the only one (who I could find) who was doing it. I couldn't find any information for myself as I investigated it, so I started blogging, hoping to help someone else who might come later in their own search on Embryo Adoption. Thankfully, there are now dozens of women who blog about Embryo Adoption. If you are here looking for information, please refer to my blog list on the right for links to many different blogs written by women who have built their families through EA. I am sure any number of them would be willing to chat with you and assist you. Thank you, EA bloggy friends, for sharing your stories! I have also left up my list of various agencies and organizations that provide Embryo Adoption services so please do check out those links. I am still available to talk privately by email, but I will not be publicly discussing EA anymore.
Embryo Adoption is important to me. It will always be a part of our family's story and I will be grateful for it for all of my days. Matthew will always know the truth about how he joined our family. This is not an attempt to disguise or conceal anything.
Snowflake Family will now be "just" about the sweetest little baby (toddler!) I know, and his antics (and sometimes his parents, too). I still desire to keep up with our friends and family around the country and this is a wonderful tool to do this. If you like mommy blogs and stories about mischievous little boys, please stick around! I kept my media reviews on infertility but for the most part, the rest of the blog starts now with transfer #3 and my pregnancy with Matthew. I deleted everything I could find that was specifically about EA.
Thank you for your understanding, and for your prayers as I try to repair the hurts I have caused.
The reason is that in my passion for promoting Embryo Adoption Awareness, I have become careless with our relationship with Matthew's Genetic Parents. Though I never intended to, in some of the things I've written about Embryo Adoption, IVF, Placing Parents (both generically and specifically), I have hurt them. I've said things that have hurt them and I've communicated to them that my passion for awareness is more important to me than them.
Embryo Adoption Awareness is important to me. It always will be. But my relationship with them is more important, so I am stepping away from EA Awareness efforts. I will be declining media interviews and I will not be writing here or elsewhere further on the topic. I don't know if this is permanent or temporary. They have not asked me to do it; I am doing it to try to show honor to them. Something is being lost in translation and I don't even want to provide myself with the opportunity to offend them so the best way to do that is to just refrain from the topic altogether. Beau and Sheila, I am so, so sorry.
I started blogging about EA in early 2008 when we started our EA journey, largely because I was the only one (who I could find) who was doing it. I couldn't find any information for myself as I investigated it, so I started blogging, hoping to help someone else who might come later in their own search on Embryo Adoption. Thankfully, there are now dozens of women who blog about Embryo Adoption. If you are here looking for information, please refer to my blog list on the right for links to many different blogs written by women who have built their families through EA. I am sure any number of them would be willing to chat with you and assist you. Thank you, EA bloggy friends, for sharing your stories! I have also left up my list of various agencies and organizations that provide Embryo Adoption services so please do check out those links. I am still available to talk privately by email, but I will not be publicly discussing EA anymore.
Embryo Adoption is important to me. It will always be a part of our family's story and I will be grateful for it for all of my days. Matthew will always know the truth about how he joined our family. This is not an attempt to disguise or conceal anything.
Snowflake Family will now be "just" about the sweetest little baby (toddler!) I know, and his antics (and sometimes his parents, too). I still desire to keep up with our friends and family around the country and this is a wonderful tool to do this. If you like mommy blogs and stories about mischievous little boys, please stick around! I kept my media reviews on infertility but for the most part, the rest of the blog starts now with transfer #3 and my pregnancy with Matthew. I deleted everything I could find that was specifically about EA.
Thank you for your understanding, and for your prayers as I try to repair the hurts I have caused.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Mother's Day
To all of you who are moms, Happy Mother's Day. I hope you had a nice day with your families. There is a time for dancing!
To those of you who long to be moms but aren't yet, to those who are estranged from or who have lost their moms or their children, and to those moms who aren't appreciated as they should be, please know you've been in my thoughts and prayers. It's hard when a day designed for celebration makes you feel sad or alone. I've spent many years that way and my heart hurts for you. I'm praying for comfort for you and I pray that you had a few bright moments in spite of your hurt. He comforts the brokenhearted.
To those of you who long to be moms but aren't yet, to those who are estranged from or who have lost their moms or their children, and to those moms who aren't appreciated as they should be, please know you've been in my thoughts and prayers. It's hard when a day designed for celebration makes you feel sad or alone. I've spent many years that way and my heart hurts for you. I'm praying for comfort for you and I pray that you had a few bright moments in spite of your hurt. He comforts the brokenhearted.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Happy Birthmother's Day
I just learned, thanks to another blogger, that today (May 12) is Birthmother's Day. While it specifies "birth" in the title, it's designed to honor the biological moms of kids who were adopted, so I think it's very fitting in our adoption, too. I'm so glad to have learned about this day!
So, Sheila, if you're reading. Thank you. Thank you for giving us the most wonderful gift we could ever imagine. Happy Mother's Day! We love you!
So, Sheila, if you're reading. Thank you. Thank you for giving us the most wonderful gift we could ever imagine. Happy Mother's Day! We love you!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Sometimes, it takes my breath away
Complete strangers *constantly* remark about how much Matthew looks like his daddy. Almost anytime we're in public with Todd and Matthew together, some clerk or waiter or another customer says something about the resemblance between them. We usually smile, nod, and thank them. I usually chock it up to their similar receding hairlines, blue eyes, and fair skin--generic traits that could easily be just coincidentally common to many people.
Then, there are other days, that the resemblance really takes my breath away.
Then, there are other days, that the resemblance really takes my breath away.
Friday, May 4, 2012
To Blog or Not to Blog
Hi all!
I have about 75 blog posts floating around in my head that I have yet to post...sigh. I keep vacillating on whether or not I'm going to keep blogging.
On the one hand, I really have a heart for embryo adoption and I've been able to talk to countless people about it through this blog.
On the other hand, much of what I blog about now is Matthew. While I like that it puts a face to embryos and demonstrates exactly what is at stake when we handle these precious little lives, I also know that reading a blog all about a toddler is not high on the list of people struggling through infertility.
On the other hand again though, I love that this has become a record for me and for Matthew even if for nobody else. I was reading through the posts right before and after his birth yesterday and I was so grateful that I had that recorded. As someone who hates to journal, blogging fills the void of documentation.
I tried to keep 2 blogs once... it just didn't work well. I don't have time to blog often, but if I don't blog regularly, people stop visiting, so with no readers, there's no real point anyway unless it's just to diary Matthew. Which is ok.
So anyway. I might be back...sometime! I do enjoy blogging, I just don't find I have the time or energy to keep up with it!
I have about 75 blog posts floating around in my head that I have yet to post...sigh. I keep vacillating on whether or not I'm going to keep blogging.
On the one hand, I really have a heart for embryo adoption and I've been able to talk to countless people about it through this blog.
On the other hand, much of what I blog about now is Matthew. While I like that it puts a face to embryos and demonstrates exactly what is at stake when we handle these precious little lives, I also know that reading a blog all about a toddler is not high on the list of people struggling through infertility.
On the other hand again though, I love that this has become a record for me and for Matthew even if for nobody else. I was reading through the posts right before and after his birth yesterday and I was so grateful that I had that recorded. As someone who hates to journal, blogging fills the void of documentation.
I tried to keep 2 blogs once... it just didn't work well. I don't have time to blog often, but if I don't blog regularly, people stop visiting, so with no readers, there's no real point anyway unless it's just to diary Matthew. Which is ok.
So anyway. I might be back...sometime! I do enjoy blogging, I just don't find I have the time or energy to keep up with it!