tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post3766474926660671843..comments2024-02-25T21:04:09.828-08:00Comments on Sunshine and Snowflakes: Grief: 1, Jen: 0Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13491687007971233290noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post-86763496356117153942007-12-19T02:28:56.936-08:002007-12-19T02:28:56.936-08:00never be hesitate to post your feelings and needs!...never be hesitate to post your feelings and needs!!<br><br>AS for lonileness YES YES and more YES. My husband works nights- majority of the nights i am by myself. So lonileness and I have been quite accustom to eachother long before marriage but, he haunted me more and more being the ONLY in a house. I understand the time as a love language. I tried and tried to find a hobby that i enjoyed so it wouldn't feel so alone time. Reading and TV are my escapes.(and talkin on my instant messanger)<br>i am sorry the hubster forgot!Fertilizednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post-49696746574801586202007-12-19T06:30:39.448-08:002007-12-19T06:30:39.448-08:00((((Jen)))) Grief hasn't won over you! Grief, ...((((Jen))))<br><br> Grief hasn't won over you! Grief, heartache, sadness and loneliness are feelings you feel, very intensely too, but they are just feeling, not who you are. Does this make sense?<br> And these feelings are, btw, very typical for those going through if struggle and even not if! <br> About dh, I can't emphasize enough how different we process this! Where we see no hope they often are hopeful. They are task oriented generally, and they are made to do one thing at a time, they often cannot deal with something when they have more pressing urgent matters, especially if it has to do with work (providing for you, which is generally a need for men, even if you are well off or can provide for yourself). <br> Sandra Glahn wrote "The Infertility Companion" and wrote a chapter, a good one at that, to expalin how husbands and wives deal with IF and their different approaches in their marriage to this particular struggle.<br><br> (((HUGS)))Gioiettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061666009972962329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post-91440574222311558222007-12-19T07:05:03.637-08:002007-12-19T07:05:03.637-08:00Thanks ladies. Miriam, I have that book. Maybe I&#...Thanks ladies. Miriam, I have that book. Maybe I'll pull it out and read it todayJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18296888260139924429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post-87262979840715631452007-12-19T08:36:06.978-08:002007-12-19T08:36:06.978-08:00I understand your lonliness, Jen! I'm sending ...I understand your lonliness, Jen! I'm sending you an email right now.Angienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post-41777960593953395322007-12-19T09:07:45.021-08:002007-12-19T09:07:45.021-08:00You are not alone in those sorts of feelings. Rem...You are not alone in those sorts of feelings. Remember that God is your refuge - not free time, not rest, not your husband - and escape into His sheltering arms!andrea_jenninehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11450998281852176512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post-74645938640727806522007-12-19T17:39:37.060-08:002007-12-19T17:39:37.060-08:00You have to let yourself get it all out. Never re...You have to let yourself get it all out. Never regret what you through out to the blogworld. If it helps you work through your feelings it is a good thing. <br><br>Loneliness is very normal. It is a bad place but it is normal. There were many times my dh and I felt miles away. He was in his own world of grief. I was in my own world. You need to share your thoughts with him but know he is so hurt wanting to fix the problem but not being able to. <br><br>Cry out to God and let Him hold you. <br><br>I am so sorry for your disappointment. HUGS!Sunnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14570018200281339937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post-38035071958361367592007-12-19T19:55:14.787-08:002007-12-19T19:55:14.787-08:00Oh, Jen. I am not and IF but girl, this just sucks...Oh, Jen. I am not and IF but girl, this just sucks. Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. I am so sorry. :( (If you stand up and scream as loud as you can THIS SUCKS!!! you might feel better. Works sometimes for me.)<br><br>Praying you will get lots of little love notes from God over the next few days to remind you that you are his baby girl and he loves you.<br><br>Hugs & prayers.Missy @ It's Almost Naptimehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11264845015930907294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post-12080039160491059802007-12-20T10:11:09.778-08:002007-12-20T10:11:09.778-08:00Aw, Jen, I'm so sorry this is happening to you...Aw, Jen, I'm so sorry this is happening to you! Loneliness and isolation are some of the most recurring feelings that accompany infertility. You are not alone. I promise you that. <br><br>One of the hardest things for me to process during the darkest days of my infertility grief was the fact that Tony and I felt things, and dealt with things -differently-. I needed him to be there all the time and grieve with me all the time, but his way of dealing with the grief was to put everything heart and soul into something else. I felt so abandoned during these times. <br><br>What's really important here is that, no matter how frustrated you are at DH over this, don't let it drive a wedge between you. IF does a well-enough job of that on it's own, and you need to lean on your unity so much more. Be sure you tell him -specific- ways you want to spend time with him when he -is- home. Don't make him guess. (Men are usually so bad at that!) I'm sure he'll more than make it up to you.<br><br>Much love and prayers,<br>TrishTrishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09315582756617168787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post-56180038199727987512007-12-20T17:20:57.885-08:002007-12-20T17:20:57.885-08:00I'm so encouraged by your honesty. I don't...I'm so encouraged by your honesty. <br><br>I don't think we ever learn to really deal with grief...and I don't think we're created to learn to be okay with it or make progress in dealing with it. It is hard, it sucks, it's lonely. And the loneliness is sometimes the hardest part. Even when you can have space to process in an appropriate way with your spouse, I feel like I'm still a bit alone - my hubby tries to 'get it' but he often just misses it. <br><br>So, you are most certainly not alone - in your grief, in your frustration, and in your guilt in feeling this way. <br><br>I'm sorry you are hurting. I will definitely pray for you.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15616258595503455641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7439109790681220541.post-90061720396897536622007-12-22T12:15:49.244-08:002007-12-22T12:15:49.244-08:00Sorry I've just now read your post. But I fee...Sorry I've just now read your post. But I feel for you so much and can relate 100%.<br><br>It seems like in the IF world, we are forced to cope and we are often successful at pulling ourselves out of a pit.<br><br>However, I always feel like I'm never far from the pit and just a puff of wind will knock me back in. <br><br>I hope the worst of the disappointment and grief has passed and that you are feeling better already.<br><br>Just know you're not alone and you are brave to be so honest in your posting! It makes us all feel better that we are not the only ones who have felt exactly like you do!KChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12377227485199425175noreply@blogger.com